Diary of a Emo Girl

Chapter Eighteen

Dear diary,

Well the other day I finally got to talk to Russ, and I heard something my friend saw which had to do with him, and it was really concerning. And he's just so mysterious sometimes, I hate it, but then again it's so damn sexy God. He's fucking hurting my head and I can't get rid of it. One moment he talks to me, then the next he's gone for like three days.

Every time he leaves I feel like we're growing more apart every day. But every time we talk he tries to assure me that we were going to be ok and nothing will change. But he was wrong. Almost everything changed with him. And I don't know why or what happened. One day he left and we didn't talk for about a week or so. And apparently he moved to South Carolina again to live with his mom. At first I was all happy because he lived closer to me, and he would be in Ohio every summer so I could see him. But then he gave each twist after like two days.

So he said that he has girls crushing on him and there's this one emo girl that likes him. And he described in detail that she seemed cool. Then I told him that I don't wanna raise my hopes too high for him to crush them, but they were already high. And he sure as hell crushed 'em hard. He said that most likely he will end up going for a local girl because it's more realistic and I would end up being doped. See that twist there? Anyways I acted all chill like I didn't care and then we both "decided" that we will still be friends but not date unless there was no one else for us in our current residing locations.

So yeah. I knew it was coming but I did it anyway. It's not my fault there aren't any dudes in my new school that are NOT childish jerks. And Russ was a pretty great guy under all the weirdness he shows to other people. Hell he was almost perfect, and I lost him to a hot emo girl. Then again I'm sort of glad I didn't fall in love with him or something because that would suck, and love in general is bullshit anyways.

But hey for all you guys out there that love Adam, I'm sure you would be happy to know that me and Adam have been getting close, and he's been talking to me a lot, you could say theres a bit of flirting involved, but I've trusted him longer then any other guy with my friendship and he hasnt ruined it yet. So I'm pretty happy about that. I really hope that someday I can see him again. I don't care if he doesn't like me more then a friend, I'm perfectly content with me and him as friends. And I really hope I won't get into any more shit with guys anytime soon.