Harry Potter Characters X Reader

33: Pranked

"Hello boys," I greeted, putting a hand on each twin's shoulder. They turned to me, seemingly sure of the favor I was about to ask. "Take a walk with me?" I asked, slipping my hands away. I walked off without another word, the two right behind me.

"So boys," I began as we exited the Great Hall. "I want to play a prank on the Quidditch captains."

"You mean..."

"All of them," I confirmed, turning around to face them. I walked backwards into the fresh air.

"We can't prank our captain," George reasoned.

"He'll skin us."

George glared at Fred, possibly thinking his twin should show some respect and kindness to Wood.

"It's only fair. We're pranking mine too. And if we didn't prank either, we might as well only prank Flint. Then it's a targeted attack, and the professors will surely blame Gryffindors or me, and almost certainly, it'll fall on the Prank Kings and Queen."

"If you're worried about getting caught, then why did you approach us in front of Wood?"

"Because why in the world would his own beaters care more about a fantastic prank than their captain? Wood needs to loosen up anyway. He always acts like his broom put a thorn up his-"

"You're not wrong," Fred agreed. "But he knows us enough to suspect us."

"If he confronts you guys, admit to the other three and claim we agreed we'd leave him out of it. I don't mind if Mr Scotsman believes I cleverly and hilariously double-crossed the suspected double-crossers."

"You really think we should admit to the other three, though?" George reasoned

"Yeah. What's he gonna do, tell on you? Pranking the other quidditch captains will cost him as much as you. He'll flip if you miss practice. And if you guys sit out even one game... He'll keep that jaw of his as clenched as always."

"This is why even we find you scary," George sighed.

"And why we love you," Fred added.

I gave them a devious smile and laughed.

"But if Wood knows you pranked him..."

"Tell him if he turns me in, I'll take both of you down with me. If Roger sniffs me out, I'll tell him the exact same thing."

"Merlin... But what if Wood takes matters into his own hands?"

"I'll simply say, 'Oh yes, daddy. Harder daddy!' and enjoy it," I joked. "Actually, that might work. Whether he's confused, uncomfortable, or, ahem, uncomfortable, it should work. Nah, backup plan. If it comes down to it, I'll explain we wanted to get Flint without getting caught. If he's still mad, I'll use the 'blind rage of an idiot' excuse. And then resort to convincing Flint a girl did it because she liked him but didn't want anyone to know that she wanted his attention. Then backup plan daddy. Then I'll resort to I did it all because I like him and wanted his attention and to be alone with him so I could..." I stopped short and laughed at the look on their faces. "I'm kidding. He's way too boring for me. Everything's quidditch and seriousness with that Celtic arsewipe. I'm fun and shit. I'd be bored in three days, tops."

"Well, 'topping' is involved with what would keep you from getting bored of him."

"Gross," I rejected immediately. "He's probably either boring and distracted with quidditch or releases all his pent-up aggression in bed. It's a no from me, boys."

They laughed pretty hard. Finally, we calmed down enough to discuss the prank itself. We decided on something ridiculously evil: we'd cast slow-burning spells on each at dinner, and by morning, they'd be their biggest rival's color, as well as steaming from the ears for at least 2 hours.