The riddle - y/n x Mattheo

Chapter 5

After a minute we pull away, he sniffs. I didnt know he was crying, i look at him and he looks back harshly, wiping the tear of cheek as if it was burning him. I look anywhere but him. " Listen.. don't tell anyone about this,and dont think we're friends." I look towards the ground as his words overtake me. Got it. " Okay" i whisper. I didnt care. I have more things to worry about right now. Like Nathan. I walk of back to the commen room.

"Um, y/n can i talk to you..alone please?" Nathan looks at me softly. Probably noticing my puffy eyes. He has his own world. He can hurt me but nobody else can.. its like that. Well not anymore. I nod and walk to my room, everyone staring at me in shock. " Listen im so so so sorry for hurting you. In lots of ways. I didn't mean any of it. I've changed, i promise. Can we get back together?, i promise i wont ever hurt you again or lay a hand on you in the wrong way" He says vunrable. I feel bad for him?? WRONG i don't. " You think you can make up a crappy excuse like last time to fix everything. Your wrong. Your probably going to get ur a$$ beat by my brother again. You only let your guard down because im finally not scared of you and you hate that. Well good luck but there's no way I'm going to get with you Nathan. " i state in a harsh voice with a blank face. I walk out the room away from his stunned face. I step out to see everyone with shocked expressions.. even Mattheo, they heard. Idc. I walked past them and went where my legs took me. The library.

"Hey.." i hear a guy say. I look around to see a guy about the same age as me. He had dark brown hair and green eyes. He looked like a soft boy and had a oversized hoodie on. "Hi.." i respond with a small smile. " Are you okay.. sorry for bothering you, u just look upset.." he says looking at me softly. I force a smile," Im good thanks " my eyes held so much pain..
I turned back around before i could break. I need another good cry. I kept them tears in when i dated Nathan.. for such a long time. I look back down at my book not even reading. I was in deep thought. I didn't even realise an hour past.

" Erm, i know im probably bothering you, but i-i just know your not okay so do you want to go on a walk with me? I know it's weird but i normally go to great hall and sit there for hours... you dont have to i-i just sorry" he says quickly. He looks at me embaressed. " Sure" i reply. His face lights up and he guides me to the hall. Nobody was there. It was calm and quiet. I loved it. I walked with him to a table. We talked for a bit.

I look at the time. " I need to get going" i say with a small smile. He looks at the clock ," Yeah same see you soon y/n" he says smiling widely. "Bye Alex " i say with a small wave and walk back to the commen room.

"Y/n where were you?! You just disappeared for hours" i heard Brandon shout concerned. " i was in the library" i say bluntly then pulling him into a suprising hug. He instantly hugs me back. I let go and look around. There's only Mattheo, Nathan, my brother, me and Jacob. Pansy's probably sleeping already. "What did you mean you'll never lay a hand on her again or something?" Jacob asks curiously, carefully watching his words when talking to Nathan. Brandon tenses. Mattheo looks at Nathan for an answer. Nathan looks at me but i look away showing him the middle finger. Brandon stalks up to Nathan slowly with a balnk face. Shoot he is serious asf. He towers Nathan at 6 foot and looks down at him with smirk. Feeling intimidated Nathan takes a step back. I smirk at that but  instead of looking back at the ground i look at him dead in the eyes with a hard glare. I wanted to kill him. If he wasn't here i would be making a thirst trap with blaise and pansy. LOL.

" Erm, you know the normal stuff" he clears his throat glaring back at me trying to gain control. My eyes water at the eye contact and i look down hoping my eyes don't sting. He walks past me but before going out he whispers in my ear so nobody hears him. " Babygirl, i dont care what your brother does to me. I will get with you. And i will hurt you even more than before" he states sqeezing my bruised wrist. I wince. He storms outside and i try covering my teary eyes..

Before yall judge me.
Have you ever felt so strong at one point and you thought you could take out anything in your way and fight. But that one person comes back. So do the memories. The triggers. And you feel weak again. You body feels numb and you can't think. You act strong but in reality your shaking of fear. Thats how i felt.

(JEEZ THATS DEEP. AND I LITTERALY MADE THAT ALL UP IN MY HEAD WHILE LISTENING TO TRAINWRECK. PLEASE I DESERVE AN AWARD- AUTHOR.)

I stay still looking at my feet feeling a tear drip down my cheek onto the floor. Im so weak...

I rub my wrist then cover it with my sleeve. I feel tapping on my head but dont care if i let it in. I look back down at my wrist. Im so weak. I really thought i could face him. My thoughts are filled with fear and negativity. I put a wall up in my mind and look anywhere but the boys. I run into my room then into the bathroom. I look in the mirror. I thought I'd see a weak girl crying because of Nathan but instead...i saw a girl shaking and crying in anger. Her cold eyes raking her own body in disgust. Lost in thought. Her eyes.. her eyes held one thing. Pain.

I walk back into the room to be brung back into reality. I slip into my bed and soon my eyes close into darkness..

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