depression

~the sun gets brighter~

I feel so comfortable here in my cage but I was always asking myself, what makes me stay here longer? I can't find the answer. Maybe it's hard to let go, to leave this place. All I know is that I'm getting tired of staying here, to fall into the same bad habits. If I had to choose between hurting myself and not doing it, I guess I would choose to hurt myself.
It's sad, I can't find the reason I do this. Maybe I want to separate myself from the real world, to feel different all the time. But it's time I come to my senses and fall back to reality because I know this can't go on forever.

If I had to imagine my cage, from the dark place that it used to be, I felt the sun coming in, the flowers, the green trees. What made this cage a better place is the fact that I started doing things I never had courage to do before. Like buying the clothes that I was always looking at them but never had the courage to try them on. Taking more photos of my face. I still remember the feeling of excitement I had when I posted my first photo of myself on instagram.

I could feel the sun getting brighter and brighter. The world had colors, I didn't even knew that, I was always blinded by this so called depression. You know what? Fuck depression, it's just temporary and with a little progress and help from others it's always going to be better.
Believe me, everything gets better, and I know you always hear this and no matter how hard you try you can't believe it. I never believed it too, until it actually got better.
Life it's not perfect, but nothing can be.