All of Your Life

Ava's Father

Derek pulled up outside Meredith house, he was over 30 minutes early but he wanted to get to know Ava. He knew that she would come first no matter what happened between him and Meredith from here on out. But he also felt a connection to her and she was so familiar but he couldn't put his finger on why. He assumed that it was because she was like Meredith. Standing on Meredith porch, it could hear Meredith calling out for Ava, it made him smile, he forewent knocking on the door, opening it and calling her name.

"Meredith!"

"I'm in here, Derek," she called from the lounge. Derek walked in to see a flustered Meredith covered in talc. He couldn't help but laugh.

"It is not funny Derek!" insisted Meredith.

"You just look too cute," he grinned.

"The one night I need her to behave she decides to misbehave."

"No. Ava good."

"Ava please let mommy get you dressed," she pleaded with her daughter.

"No!" she exclaimed stubbornly.

"Ava. We're going to Derek's house. Please let me-"

"Meredith," he interrupted her. "Let me get her ready. You can go get ready and I'll get to know this beautiful little girl." Ava wiggled out of Meredith's arms and ran over to Derek.

"Deh up!" she said, raising her arms to Derek.

"Only if you're sure," said Meredith sceptically as Derek picked Ava up.

"I'm sure. Go. Get ready," he smiled, kissing her forehead head

"Thank you Derek," she smiled softly. Meredith retreated towards the stairs, quickly looking back to see Derek dressing Ava. Seeing Ava being so compliant made her smile, maybe this would work out for them.

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30 minutes later Meredith walked into the living room to find Derek lying on the couch with Ava sprawled out, sleeping, on his chest. Derek looked at her and smiled, the smile that always made her go weak at the knees.

"She fell asleep about ten minutes ago," he said quietly.

"Sorry," said Meredith, walking over to take Ava off his chest.

"I've got her. You should get her car seat and put it in my car."

He handed Meredith the car keys before looking down at Ava. She was sucking her thumb, looking so peaceful and much like his sister Amy did when she was a little girl. Derek's brain was running a mile a minute, as he worked out the math in his head.

No he couldn't be...she would have told me he thought to himself. He couldn't shake the feeling.

"Dada," murmured Ava as Derek shifted her in his arm. His heart swelled.

"It's okay, baby. Daddy's got you," he whispered into her curls.

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Meredith was surprised to see Derek taking a familiar route, the last she knew he didn't remember the trailer or his land. She was glad he brought here there. IT meant so much to her which he probably never even realized it.

"I found this a few weeks ago. Not long after you came to Seattle. I wanted to show you," said Derek, looking over at Meredith, noticing the look on her face. "This was our place, wasn't it?"

Meredith turned to look at him with tears in her eyes, but a smile on her face, before climbing out of the car. Derek watched as she walked closer to the trailer, and he could see her really relax for the first time since she came back into his life. He looked behind him and saw that Ava was still fast asleep before climbing out of the car to see Meredith holding her hand out to him.

They walked in the dark, side by side.

"Where are we?" questioned Meredith.

"Shh, shh. I'm gonna tell you. All right. My mother's maiden name, Maloney. I have four sisters. I have, uh, nine nieces. Five nephews. I like coffee ice cream, single-malt scotch, occasionally a good cigar. I like to fly fish. And I cheat when I do the crossword puzzle on Sunday. And I never dance in public. Um, favourite novel, The Sun Also Rises. Favourite band, The Clash. My favourite colour is blue. I don't like light blue, indigo. The scar right here on my forehead," he said, pointing to a crease on his forehead.

"That's why I don't ride motorcycles anymore. And I live in that trailer. All this land is mine. I have no idea what I'm gonna do with it. So that's it. That's all you've earned for now. The rest you're just...just gonna have to take on faith," he finished with a smile.

Derek watched her as she took a few steps toward the trailer. She turned around, smiling at him and reaching for his hand. He grinned back, took her hand, and they walked into the trailer.

"Derek," called Meredith, noticing Derek standing in the same spot in a daze. He didn't respond. "Derek," she repeated. Derek grabbed her and pulled her into a hug. "Derek, what is it?"

"I remember."

"Remember what?"

"The first time I brought you here, and I asked you to take it on faith," he told her, their eyes interlocked. For the first time since she came back he saw a light come on in her eyes, one that he saw a long time ago, her eyes full of love for him.

"You did."

"And I let you down."

"Der-" she started, interrupted by Derek's lips pressing softly against hers.

"Mer, I need to know. Did I choose Addison over you?" Seeing the flash of sadness that was gone just as quick as it had appeared.

"I am so sorry, Meredith," he apologized. Hearing the tone of his voice, Meredith wrapped her arms around his neck, holding him close.

"You're a good guy Derek. She was your wife. I understood."

"That is no excuse Meredith, I know what I felt...what I feel for you. I never felt anything like it for Addison. Why would I choose her over you?"

"I don't know Derek, only you can answer that," she told him.

"I wish I could."

"One day you will be able to but right now, let's just be us," said Meredith, placing a feather light kiss on his lips. "I have to tell-"

"Let's get Ava out of the car, and then we can talk. I'll lay her down on the bed and finish off dinner," he interrupted her, knowing exactly what she was going to say. He wanted to hear it more than anything in the world but, not yet. Derek knew he had something more to prove to her and himself before he could be Ava's father. He wanted to remember everything first.

He needed to prove he'd be there for Meredith because he loved her. Not just for their daughter.