All of Your Life

Finding out the Truth

Meredith stood at the nurse's station filling out charts when she felt someone come up behind her. She only realized who it was when his body pressed against her. She was so out of practice, before she would have sensed him before he got that close to her. Meredith closed her eyes briefly only to reopen her eyes to find a cup of coffee in front of her.

"What is this?" she asked

"A cup of coffee," smirked Derek.

"Stop looking at me like that!"

"Like what?" he whispered in her ear.

"Like you know something."

"It only a coffee Dr. Grey, but you are right I do know something," said Derek, nibbling on her earlobe.

"Dr. Shepherd," yelped Meredith as Derek bit down on her earlobe. "We are in the hospital, you are married and this is inappropriate," she hissed at him.

She quickly gathered up her charts and walked away from him and towards the resident's locker room. Neither of them noticed Addison standing in the distance watching as Derek flirted with Meredith, not that it surprised her, but it did surprise her when Meredith walked away from Derek. Once Meredith was out of sight Addison walked up to Derek

"So, Derek you didn't waste any time did you?" asked Addison, sounding bitter.

"What is that suppose to mean?" snapped Derek at Addison.

"Well, it didn't take you long to find someone else did it?" cringed Addison at her tone. She couldn't help it. She loved her husband.

"Addison I thought we discussed this," said Derek.

"I know we did, but..."

"It surprisingly hurts," he finished for her.

"Yeah," said Addison quietly. Derek reached over and touched her hand.

"Addie I am sorry," told her Derek.

"Derek don't...I don't deserve your apologies." Addison removed her hand from underneath his.

"What do you mean?"

"Derek, I know you don't remember, and I want to tell you, but I also can't stand the thought of you hating me."

"Addison, I couldn't hate you."

"Yes you could Derek, you did, and you will. Just know, I am sorry," she said before walking away from him.

"Addison," called out Derek after his wife.

"Yes, Derek?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Derek I am not discussing this here in the hospital," she said before walking away.

Derek watched as Addison left his sight. Derek wondered what she meant but didn't dwell on it; he needed to find Meredith again. He needed to ask her the question he was hoping to ask her before at the nurse's station before Addison interrupted them.

Derek thought for a split second to go after Addison and discover what the hell she was talking about but he needed to see Meredith first. He followed the steps that Meredith took away from him, and headed towards the resident's locker room, hoping that she was in there, and she was, he walked in before closing the door.

Derek opened the door to the intern locker room, noticing Meredith grabbing Alex by the chin so that he was looking at her directly.

"And for the record, you smell like crap!" he heard her say.

Meredith turned and walked to her locker. Meredith and Alex both see Derek looking at them. Meredith ignored him. Derek decided to walk into the locker room and motions to Alex to find out what just happened.

"She attacked me," said Alex quickly. Derek watched has Meredith rushed towards Alex.

"Meredith, Meredith, Meredith!" exclaimed Derek, grabbing her arms before she reached Alex, pushing her back. Derek turned to Alex.

"You know, you might want to leave before I change my mind and let her beat you to a pulp with her tiny ineffectual fists," he said, guiding Alex out the door holding on to his arm. Alex made a 'boo-hoo' face at Meredith as Derek closed the door. Derek turned to look at Meredith and sighed. Meredith stared at him breathing at little heavily.

"What?" he questioned, wondering why she was looking at him.

"Nothing," said Meredith, grabbing her jacket out of her locker. "It's just..."

Derek noticed the longing looks, she threw in his direction. He nodded at her, allowing her to speak.

"Nothing."

He watched as Meredith slammed her locker door shut and moved to leave. He opened the door for her. She stopped in front of him as if to speak again, breathing still slightly out of breath. She seemed to change her mind and left. He looked up and sighed.

"Derek, what's wrong?" asked Meredith, noticing his blank look. He didn't answer. She walked up to him, placing her hand lightly on his cheek, forcing him to look directly at her. Derek" she said gently. He jerked back. "Are you okay?"

"You attacked Dr. Karev."

"What?"

"When was that Meredith?"

"Derek..." she sighed, not really wanting to answer.

"Please Meredith." he pleaded with her. Meredith knew she couldn't lie to him.

"Derek...I can't."

"Yes you can Meredith, I am tired of people keeping secrets from me!" he exclaimed.

"Derek, I'm trying to protect you."

"Please stop Meredith. I don't need you to protect me. Please tell me." Derek looked directly at her pleading with her.

"It was during my intern year," she said quietly.

"Intern year...so, three years ago"

"Yeah," she nodded, diverting her eyes to the ground. Derek lifted her chin up so she looked at him directly.

"I flirted with you, trying to get you to go out with me, right?" asked Derek gently. Meredith simply nodded her head.

"Where was Addison?" he asked her bluntly.

"You need to talk to Addison about that."

"I am asking you Meredith. Addison wasn't here in Seattle, was she?" he questioned, looking calmer than he felt.

"No, she wasn't," she confirmed, noticing the anger building in his eyes. Before he had a chance to storm out of the locker room Meredith managed to get in between Derek and the door. "Derek, you need to calm down"

"Meredith, get out of my way," demanded Derek through gritted teeth.

"No. You are going to calm down before you do something stupid. You are at work Derek." Looking at him she couldn't remember a time she'd ever seen him so angry.

"Dr. Grey, get out of my way. NOW!" yelled Derek at her.

Meredith was shocked, he had never yelled at her like that before. She watched him, and knew there was no way she would be able to stop him. If he wanted to leave than she wouldn't stop him.

Derek felt guilty for yelling at Meredith, but he just wanted her out of the way. He was so angry with Addison but he didn't know why.

Why that particular memory would cause him to be so angry with Addison he wasn't sure but he knew he would have never chased after Meredith unless something happened between him and Addison and he was going to find out what that was.

Before he could start up any kind of relationship with Meredith he had to know what caused him to chase after her in the first place and Meredith wasn't going to tell him anything.

Derek didn't even bother knocking on Addison office door, he flung it open to find Addison and Mark kissing, and Mark in the process of removing Addison's top.