All of Your Life

At Meredith's House

Derek stood on the lawn outside Meredith house, trying to work up the nerve to knock on her door. He wasn't exactly sure why he needed her to know but he did, for some reason this was important. He didn't want her hearing the news through the hospital grapevine; he took a deep breath before ringing her doorbell. Derek was stood there for a few minutes before he heard someone running down the stairs, and a crying baby. Meredith opened the door, looking all dishevelled with a screaming Ava in her arms.

"Sorry Derek, I am having a little trouble getting her down tonight. If you don't mind waiting..." said Meredith, clearing the door way to let him come in if he chose to.

"Do you want me to try?" he offered, stepping inside.

"I've got it under control. There are some beers in the fridge if you want one, I shouldn't be too long," she told him before retreating up the stairs with a crying toddler in her arms. "Come on baby, please go to sleep," she begged. "Mommy needs to talk to daddy."

"Dada?" whispered Ava quietly in between her sobs.

"I know baby. Soon," she murmured into her daughter's curls. "I hope," added Meredith quietly to herself.

-------------------------------------------------

Derek stood in the doorway of the nursery, watching Meredith has she rocked Ava to sleep, and quietly singing what Derek recognised as Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, a song he used to sing to his nieces and nephews when they were young. Derek couldn't take his eyes of Meredith and Ava; a part of him wished that Ava was his and Meredith's daughter. The thought sobered him up. It was funny how he never wanted kids with Addison, and he barely knew Meredith but knew that she was the one that he wanted to be the mother of his children.

Meredith hadn't noticed him until she felt a hand her shoulder causing her to jump but thankfully not enough to wake Ava up.

"Derek...you jumped me."

"Sorry. I just wanted to make sure you were both okay."

"We're fine, she finally fell asleep. I'll be down in a few minutes. I just want to make sure she's actually sleeping," said Meredith, hoping he would go back downstairs. She glanced over at the picture that was on the nursery's window, hoping that Derek didn't see it.

"Okay, do you want anything?" asked her Derek.

You, Meredith thought. "Um... a glass of wine would be nice. Thank you."

"Okay," he said with a small smile, leaving the nursery. Meredith looked down at her daughter hoping she'd stay asleep. She gently laid Ava down in her toddler-sized bed. After watching her for a few moments to make sure she stayed asleep, Meredith gently kissed her on the head and ran her fingers through her daughter's curls, before walking out of the nursery and down to the living room, where Derek was waiting for her. As she reached the living room she noticed Derek looking at the spot where they'd had sex for the first time, two years before. By the expression on his face, she could tell he remembered something.

"Derek," she said gently not want to scare him.

Derek turned to look at her, the woman that had haunted his dreams for the past two years.

"Is Ava asleep?"

"Yep."

"This might sound strange but I feel like I know her..." he told her sceptically. "When she called me 'dada' at the hospital...I really wished that I was."

"Derek..." murmured Meredith quietly, the tears springing to her eyes.

"I came here to tell you...me and Addison, we're done."

Meredith stared at him, astounded.

"Excuse me?" she asked, making sure her ears weren't deceiving her.

"I asked Addison for a divorce. I don't completely understand why I felt the need to tell you, but I needed you to know. That first day at hospital... when I first saw you, i felt something. I don't know what it was. It felt like something I've never felt before... not even with Addison."

"Derek," said Meredith quietly, the tears threatening to fall.

Derek walked over to her and pulled her close to him, holding her. Meredith closed her eyes, and relaxed into his embrace. She couldn't believe how much she still loved him and how much she wanted him. She just hoped he'd remember.

Meredith found the strength to pull away from him. "What do you want Derek?"

"I don't know Meredith... I'm... I want you Meredith. God...I love you! Meredith remember that," he begged. "I feel it every time I look at you. But, I'm... I'm a good man. I try to be at least. How could I have cheated on my wife?"

"Derek, I can't tell you. It will hurt when you remember. You know I didn't know about her but... you need to remember yourself. I want to tell you... I do. But, I just can't. When you do remember, I'll be here for you. I'm always here for you," Meredith told him caressing his cheek with her thumb.

"I know. Please tell me that we can at least be friends while I'm sorting this out," he pleaded feeling completely vulnerable.

"Of course we can, Derek," she smiled a little. "Have you eaten?"

"No, but you can't cook," said Derek, surprised to see the dumbstruck look on her face and then he realized what he said. "I remembered."

Meredith smiled at him.

"I know you are a health nut, or at least try to be, but, I have the pizza delivery place on speed-dial."

"That's fine Mer," said Derek, giving her a smile.

He watched as she walked out of the living room, unable to take his eyes off her retreating figure. Everything he ever wanted and dreamed of was in this house. He just had to figure out how to get it.