Surviving The Borderlands

Chapter Eighteen

Rose slept for two days, her body slowly healing.

When she finally woke up the pain was the first thing to register, the second was warmth encasing her hand. Looking to the side Chishiya slept half on a chair, half on her bed, his hand holding hers. A small smile sat on her face as she watched his peaceful sleep for a moment.

A full bladder ruined the moment and she carefully tried to sit up, cringing at the pain that shot through her body. Looking over herself, most of her injuries had healed or where in the process of healing.

"You're awake" Chishiya said sleepily slowly rubbing his eyes. For a second Rose was reminded of a cat waking from sleep.

"Yeah, it looks like it" Rose replied still inspecting her skin, part of her concerned that once she got up she would just fall to the ground.

"I should probably start learning to keep my mouth shut" Rose said with a small laugh, but she knew she would do it again to protect her friend. An annoyed sigh escaped her, well now she knew what it was like to care about someone so much you would willingly throw yourself into danger for them.

"Help me up" she told Chishiya, too unsteady on her own. He was quick to her side lifting her from the bed. Her body still awkward and tired from the oversleep and being immobile for so long. Chishiya helped her to the bathroom where she got the first glimpse of herself.

"Oh" was all she could say as she stared at the reflection of a stranger. She remembered how she looked before she entered the games – now she looked like an entirely different person, covered in scars and bruises. She hadn't even noticed the tears falling until Chishiya wiped them away.

"You're going to be ok" he said softly, she laughed a little.

"I look as broken as I feel" the words caused a pain in his chest, carefully he moved in front of her blocking the mirror. Her eyes drifted to him.

"You are not broken, don't let them break you" his words reassured her a little and she leaned into the palm resting on her cheek.

"Help me shower?" she asked him quietly and he nodded. He carefully removed her clothes trying his best not to harm her, then stripped out of his. She leaned against the counter watching him undress and feeling her heart race. She also noticed how perfect he was, his skin didn't bare the marks of the Borderlands – he could wake up in the normal world tomorrow and pretend this had never happened. She would always be stuck with the reminders.

Pulling her from her thoughts Chishiya helped her into the shower where she leaned against him as he washed her. It was odd for them both, a moment more intimate than any sex. He was slowly starting to realise that he genuinely cared about her, how she was feeling, what she was thinking. When she was hurt, he wanted to burn the world down for allowing it to happen, he wanted to protect her and savour these moments when it was just the two of them.

"What are you thinking about?" Rose asked quietly looking up at him, her arms wrapped around him.

"You, I was wondering what it might have been like if we had met in the real world" she sighed at that.

"Why worry about the real world, we're not there anymore, might never be there again but we are here" she leaned up kissing him, he kissed her back gently careful of her injuries. She growled in annoyance pulling him closer, her soapy body sliding against his. In a momentary lapse he pushed her against the wall and she smiled biting his lip.

He pulled away, leaning their foreheads together and breathing heavy.

"We can't do this right now" he said through gritted teeth, her breathing matched his, she knew he was only trying to be careful with her. Kissing down his chest she carefully lowered herself to her knees taking him in her mouth, teasing and pleasing until he was close.

He growled pulling her to her feet and wrapping her legs around his waist, holding her against the wall as he stared at her with desire, a warmth behind his usually cold eyes. She loved being trapped between him and the wall, feeling him against her entrance teasing her as his mouth crashed against hers.

"Are you sure?" he asked breathless against her lips, she opened her eyes to see him drinking her in. If she said no he would stop – no questions asked – she knew that but she didn't want to stop.

"Yes, I want this and I want you, help me forget for a while" she said quietly, she was taking every chance to make her own decisions and take back her own power. He would never let anyone use him but in this one instance, he let her.

He carefully lowered her onto him, smirking at her expressions of pain and pleasure.

When they had finished Chishiya continued cleaning her then carried her back to the bed. Due to her injuries that had only had one round and he was gentle with her, when she healed he planned a lot more but for now, they were both happily satisfied. She felt like she had taken one small thing in a world that was trying to deprive her of everything.

Rose sighed blissfully snuggling into the sheets and Chishiya smiled watching her. Now more determined than ever he needed to get his plan in motion, he started to leave but she quickly grabbed his wrist surprising him. Sitting up she looked at him with wide eyes.

"Don't go" she said quietly, not familiar with actually wanting people around it was difficult to say those words, but she didn't want him to leave.

They both froze for a moment in positions they weren't used to – part of Chishiya reminded him that he shouldn't be getting as attached as he was but it was already too late. The Borderlands were no place for developing feelings for someone the logical part of his brain spoke but his heart seemingly for the first time was arguing with his head. 

After seeing the damage inflicted by Aguni's men he decided to speed up his plan, hard to do when he hadn't actually left her room since he found her. Something about her waking up alone felt wrong – but the consequence was his plan getting further delayed. He needed to start moving his pawns into position – something that couldn't be done with her around.

If she knew his plan she would stop him immediately, or worse would sacrifice herself.

Her eyes pierced into him and he struggled with his mind and heart. Whatever choice would have consequences. Her heart raced as she watched him, he looked confused and something like annoyance briefly flashed in his expression. She realised that maybe she had crossed a line in their relationship – whatever that was.

She hoped he would climb into the bed with her but it seemed more likely he was going to leave.

A harsh understanding came to her.

Chishiya was only using her for sex and a good time – the things she had promised herself were all she wanted from him. He'd gotten what he wanted and now his interest was gone. She felt stupid and used, realising that he had become a comfort, coming to her whenever she was in need. She'd begun relying on him, Niragi was fun but there was something more with the blonde – or so she'd thought.

She dropped her hand back to the bed.

"Sorry, don't know what's gotten into me – thanks for patching me up, I'm gonna get some sleep" she smiled dismissing him. He looked surprised at her sudden change but she laid down facing the opposite wall so she couldn't see him anymore. Closing her eyes she pretended to sleep, the room fell into a heavy silence for a while and part of her still hoped that he would crawl into the bed and hold her.

Eventually the door opened and closed quietly.

Silent tears fell down her cheeks as her mind taunted her.

So much for just a fling, what an idiot

Her heart was yelling for her mind to shut the hell up, but neither quietened as she sat in the darkness, letting herself cry out the pain that radiated from her chest.