Welcome Back || Oumasai/Saiouma

| 12 | Truthful Lies

  Kokichi POV
  (Tw) f slur, suicide?(trust me it's nothing much)

I woke up.

I looked to my left...yeah, no Shuichi...I can't believe I yelled at him last night. He didn't do anything wrong. He was just getting ready for bed, and then I had to come in a ruin his whole night.

  Damnit.

  I need to apologize to him.

I got out of bed and got dressed. Hopefully Shuichi isn't awake. Maybe if I make him breakfast it could make it easier for him to forgive me. No-even if I do get his forgiveness, I might just lash out at him again.

God why can't he just tell me the truth!? What did I fucking do!? Why Shuichi, why!?

I grabbed my chest as tears started to build up.

"Why?" I choked out.

I wiped my tears away and put my shirt on. My outfit wasn't too great, I'm saving my actual clothes for times where I go out with friends or something.

Yeah that isn't happening anytime soon.

When I stepped out of the bedroom I felt like something bad happened. Like the place was lifeless.

A horrible thought rushed through my head.

...Shuichi's body swaying, holding onto a noose by its neck...

I shook my head. Why!? Why the hell does my head do this!? 

  I need to think of something else. Something that isn't Shuichi's hanging body.

  ...Shuichi on the couch, laying on his side, facing me with a seductive smirk as he wears noting but a-

  WHAT THE FUCK NO!

I repeatedly smacked my red face. "Stupid. Homo. Faggot." I mumbled to myself.

  After a while of hitting myself, I finally calmed down. I can't even believe I thought up of those things, what's wrong with me?

Everything apparently.

  Once I walked into the living room, my eyes widened in surprise.

  The couch was completely cleared of all blankets and pillows and there was no sign of Shuichi. "S-Shuichi?" I called out.

No answer.

I searched around the apartment, no Shuichi. Did he leave? Did he leave to go shopping or something? If he did then he should be home soon. Yeah that's why he's gone.

Think positive Kokichi...!

. . .

It's been like 5 hours. Where is he?

Did he-

"Did he leave completely?"

Tears weld up in my eyes as I started to shake. It's all my fault. He left because he finally got tired of my stupid anger issues. It's not like it wasn't gonna happen soon, Shuichi is smart and knows when something gets toxic. God why am I always so stupid.

  Nobody's here right now. No one will see me cry. Nobody will see me be weak.

  So that's what I did.

  Cry.

  Cry because I'm a little baby.

  Cry because I'm a spoiled brat.