Dust to Dust

23

Even if it wasn't a very smart choice, Jenny still trusted Charlotte. And what happened in the church last night was a reasonable thing to hide, if she already knew about it, since he wasn't hurting anyone aside from himself. She would ask some questions about it, and if she didn't like the answer, this was it. She was going to leave. Hopefully with Jasper, if she could convince him. They would find some other place to stay, maybe a different group of people that wasn't filled with psychopaths. Maybe they would bring a few others with, like Eren and Calvin, since they had no idea what was going on, and they would be better off knowing what Asher was like when he was alone.

She was thinking that to herself as she started to wake up, and realized it was a lot colder than when she fell asleep. Nobody was with her anymore.

Alarmed, Jenny flipped herself around and realized Jasper was gone. He had been for a while now, the other side of the bed was cold. She tried to relax, knowing he probably went back to his own cabin, and stayed with her yesterday just to calm her down. It must have worked, since she didn't even notice him leaving.

Then she realized she was the only one in the cabin altogether. Eren and Corey were gone too. She probably just woke up late. Then why did nobody get her up?

Jenny got out of bed, threw on a new top and sweatpants, and walked out the door. Something was wrong again. She knew this feeling. The morning where they found Delilah, she had the same feeling she did now. The second she found Jasper she would tell him the plan. Knowing him, he would agree and they would just get the hell out of there as soon as possible. Maybe then all this stress would disappear.

People were scattered around, like usual, nothing really seemed out of the ordinary. She just stood at the platform keeping her in between the grass and the cabin, confused. Eren was by the fire pit with Christine, and as soon as they saw her, a really sad look came across their face. Why did they look sympathetic? It was like something terrible happened-

"Jenny." some said her name. She flinched and turned to see Asher sitting on the other side of the platform. He was the absolute last person she wanted to see right now.

He was back to wearing that long and silky robe, completely covering the huge cuts on his wrists. He couldn't just talk to her as if nothing had happened. He knew she saw him yesterday, and yet he didn't look upset about it. It was like he felt bad. But it wasn't about the church, it was something else.

"Are you... okay?" was all she could say. "They hurt, don't they?"

Asher sighed impatiently "I'd rather not talk about that right now."

"Well maybe I would. What the fuck was that, Asher? I've been going easy on you, but something's seriously wrong with you, and I can't just let it slide." she was completely fed up with everything he had been doing, and now it looked like everyone knew about it. But why were they all looking at her like she was the one suffering?

"Jenny. That's not important right now. Please. I need to tell you about something else." he seemed oddly sad, with the same look as Eren did. It was really pissing her off, if anything.

"Jesus, what could be more important than you cutting up your wrists and scaring me half to death? I was scared, but now I'm just pissed-"

"I assume Jasper is more important to you than I am."

It was weird that she didn't see him at all this morning. If something really serious was going on, he should be here. The way Asher was talking was scaring her. Something happened to Jasper.

Memories of Delilah came rushing back.

"What... what about him?"

He paused and bit his lip anxiously. "He's gone. He left this morning. He came to my cabin and told me he didn't want to stay anymore. Nothing I said could convince him. He's been gone about six hours now. I don't think he's coming back."

That... didn't make any sense. He was with her in the cabin just last night. Why would he decide to slip out and just leave? Especially without telling her. No, something else was going on, it had to be.

"You're... you're lying aren't you?"

Asher shook his head. "Why would I lie about this? What would I have to gain from it?"

He wouldn't talk about Delilah. And he was suddenly so open about Jasper now that he was gone. What the fuck was that about? "What else did he say? You're telling me he just left? Just like that? We seemed fine yesterday-"

Something started to come back to her.

I'm sorry I can't be enough for you.

Jenny's stomach churned. That sounded too much like a goodbye. So he was really gone? She was just never going to see him again. But he said they would talk things through in the morning. She was going to tell him about the church, and they were going to get out of this place together. That couldn't happen now. He wasn't coming back.

"Wow. What a fucking asshole."

She turned back for the cabin and slammed the door. What could she even think of this? She really had nobody left now. Her family and Delilah were dead, Jasper was gone, and he was too far now to go looking for him. Besides, if he didn't even tell her he was leaving, he obviously didn't want her coming after him. All because he thought he wasn't good enough to stick around. She couldn't start crying, not again. It was his decision, and if he wanted to be an asshole, she was going to let him. Everything was fine. She had nothing to do with this, and it was all his problem. But it hurt really damn bad.

The door to the cabin opened behind her, and she was ready to turn around and punch that stupid freak in the face. He probably drove Jasper into leaving. She still didn't even know what happened to Delilah, and if he drove her to possible suicide, he could definitely convince Jasper to leave her behind.

"Asher, if you don't get the fuck-"

It was Eren. They had always had a rough spot for Jasper, but everyone knew they were close, they just didn't show it as most people would. They were trying so hard not to look distraught, and failing miserably. Now that he was gone, they must have a lot of regrets about the way they talked to him.

"Look, I... I know we don't talk as much but... I'm not gonna ditch you, Jen. Whatever the reason, it was an asshole move. God, that idiot..." they hid their face a little with their hand, pretending like they weren't about to start crying.

"He could've at least told us where he was going. And you of all people. If he really cared about you he would have had the decency to explain," their breath hitched, and they started to get mad over how emotional they were getting.

Jenny covered her mouth with both hands, trying not to break either. "No. He left because he thought he wasn't good enough... and that I would be better off without him. Why did he think that? He was a good guy..." it was really starting to sink in that she was probably never going to see him again. And she didn't even get to say goodbye. He had given her so much support, and she wasn't able to get through to him. He needed the help more than she did. This guilt was going to kill her.

"I wish I could punch him in the stupid face right now for thinking that. And ditching you, the girl he had feelings for. What a fucking dick." they both lost it at the same time. Eren backed up into the door and turned to the wall, leaving Jenny to just stand there.

"I really liked having him around, y'know. And now I don't know what to think," they sniffled, unable to hold back anymore.

"I would have done anything to make him stay or even go with him, I don't care. Just why did he have to leave like that? He's so stupid!"

"And ignorant."

"Inconsiderate."

"Fucking annoying."

"And I still love him for it."