Dust to Dust

35

They hadn't said a word to each other for a while. Jenny was facing one wall, Asher the other, completely silent, aside from the heavy breathing. He was giving her all the time she needed to process what had just happened. Her face was still flushed and she hadn't put her robe back on yet, and was just holding it over herself. She was worried any movement would make it even more awkward. While she wasn't saying anything, her mind was recapitulating over the past... hour? It felt like an hour.

She tilted her head back and tried to let some air back into her lungs, which didn't work so well. No matter how deeply she breathed, nothing was going to stop her heart from racing.

"Are you alright?" Asher startled her, and she stuttered to answer him.

"F-fine. You?"

"Good."

Jenny stopped clutching her robe so hard and put it back on over her head, slowly, twitching a bit as an after effect. Now that it was over and done with, the hardest part was coming. She had to burn him alive. She just couldn't do it, she couldn't face him without wanting to scream at how he was throwing his life away. But she didn't want to be angry anymore, either. That wouldn't be a good way to send someone off. 

"Is it okay if I look at you now?"

She adjusted herself a bit to turn back towards him. "Yeah, you're fine."

He looked over his shoulder first and then turned around completely. He had his robe tied around his waist, covering most of his legs, he was definitely in a better state than she was though.

"I'd rather not be fully dressed when the church is burnt down. It would take longer for me, and I know I picked this method personally, but I don't want it to be unreasonably slow, if that makes sense." now that he was talking about it, it just became more stressful. She really, really didn't want to kill him, even if it meant he was satisfied.

"You look troubled." it was fucking stupid thing to point out.

"Of course I am. I have to kill you, y'know." that burning in her throat was coming back, and she despised it. Why wouldn't he just live a full life? The first part of the ritual was over, now they had all the time in the world to get to the hard part. She clutched both sides of her waist and clenched her teeth behind her lips.

"I know. And the longer we wait, the more difficult it's going to be. I don't expect you to be ready, nobody should be, unless they have a filthy soul. But you don't. So I suggest you head to the back of the room and grab the cross, plus the matches, oil, bits of rope, and nails." 

Jenny turned away from him. She could feel his pleading gaze, and didn't want to see it for herself. Otherwise, she might as well start crying again.

"You get them. I can't." she murmured, clearly upset.

He hesitated, and stood up. "Very well." he walked out of her view and that only made her feel worse. This was the last time she was going to see Asher alive.

When people die, you don't know when the last time is that you're going to see them. It just happens, and you wish that you could have done more for them while they were still alive. But she knew that this was it. There was no future for him after this, and nothing more that she could do, because this was what he wanted. That didn't change the fact that it felt so gut-wrenchingly wrong.

He was back with the supplies way too soon, and she couldn't bear the sight of the person she was about to kill.

"Jenny."

"What?!" she snapped, jerking up to look at him. The same, blank, yet disappointed look from before. Her face screwed up. "I can't do this! I can't kill you, it's evil! I don't know why I ever agreed to this, I can't take someone's life away from them!" she was getting hysteric again, her whole body shuttering worse than it ever had.