Dust to Dust

32

The evening before the ritual was here before she even knew it. She needed to find a way to slip out, but she was worried it was becoming too obvious that she was getting involved with Asher again. Corey didn't seem to notice, Eren was clearly aware, they just hadn't said anything. Everyone was keeping to themselves for the most part, sometimes chatting with each other. Such a peaceful atmosphere that wouldn't last long. If tonight went well, this feeling of wholeness would be gone. The most important piece would be dead, and the cult was left for her to manage. The only thing keeping everything from unfolding was getting the signal from Charlotte. She was lingering at the corner of one of the cabins, silently, with her head tilted down. When she made the gesture, they would head to the cabin made for the adherents, and wait until the night came upon them. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't stay calm. Overwhelmed was an understatement, it was far more than that.

Jenny watched Charlotte carefully, and while her face was covered, she knew they were staring at each other. All the talking around her was completely drowned out, she couldn't focus on anything else aside from the adherent's movements. She was perfectly still for the time being, but the longer this dragged on, the harder it would be to actually take action.

And then she held up two fingers, waving them towards herself. Jenny's heart dropped to her stomach, and she got to her feet. It was finally happening. Asher was going to die at her hand. There was no avoiding this. Only taking a single step forward, someone stopped her.

"Where ya going?" Eren's voice was difficult to process. She couldn't explain it of course, and couldn't find a reasonable excuse to get out of there.

"I'm... just going for a walk." Damn, she really hadn't thought this through. Eren had always been curious about what was going on with her since Jasper died, and she never even thought of the right thing to say when the questions would finally be asked.

"No you're not. You've been staring at that adherent all damn day. She wants you to follow her. So I'll ask again. Where are you going?"

Well, fuck. She knew they were suspicious, but had been hoping they weren't going to say anything. But this was Eren she was talking about. They always needed to get involved with anything that didn't sit right with them. This being a prime example.

"I'm... I just-"

"I trust you, Jen. But you've gotta tell me what's going on around here. You've been hanging around those guys for a while now and I don't like it. Especially since Jasper died. So you wanna tell me where you're going and why you look so anxious?"

She took a breath, and turned around to face them. They didn't look pleased, but were desperate for an answer. Jenny swallowed the lump in her throat. "You trust me, right?"

They nodded. "I just said that, yeah. But you're a shit liar. So spill."

"You trust me, right?"

"Yeah. Now answer the fucking question."

She got closer to Eren and gave them a very stern expression. "I promise you nothing bad is going to happen to me. Okay? I'm completely safe."

"With that motherfucker? I don't think so." they scoffed and turned to the side.

"I promise you, Eren. I know you're scared because of what happened with Jasper and Delilah, but it's not like that this time. It'll all make sense in the morning. I swear to you on the lives we lost here."

That was attention grabbing. They still looked slightly unconvinced, and sighed, disappointed.

"How do you know?"

...

Charlotte shut the door behind them and stood straight up, letting Jenny walk ahead of her. The cabin was much bigger than all the others, and a few other adherents were present, faces covered, unlike Charlotte, who had removed it as soon as they were about to walk in. One of them was holding a spare robe, one similar to their own. Asher had mentioned that he pictured her wearing something like that, just for the occasion, in his words. She wasn't going to argue, it's not like it was bad looking.

Long and smooth fabric dangling close to the floor, an extremely clean white. It was untouched.

"We're going to request you put this on. It's optional, so it's up to you." Charlotte explained from behind her. Jenny slowly walked towards the adherent holding the robe, and took it out of her hands. She almost dropped it, underestimating how long it was. But it did feel nice, so she kept quiet.

"There's a spare room in the corner. Use that to change if you wish." Charlotte was speaking a lot more formal than usual. She was getting the hint that it was because other adherents were around, and it was unusual to sympathize with others around the camp for her. She had only shown compassion when they were talking alone, after all.

Jenny looked down and entered the back room quickly, closing the door behind her. She was shaking so badly, and that was becoming difficult to hide. The robe almost slipped out of her fingers from the constant fidgeting. Gripping tighter, she looked at herself in the hanging mirror. It had been a while since she had paid attention to her appearance. It didn't even concern her at this point. But she looked a lot more tired than the last time she had looked at herself, duller too. She looked like how Delilah had the day before she died.

She bit the inside of her mouth to keep from thinking about that, and gently started to take off her clothes and slide the robe on. It fit her perfectly, which was strange since it looked so big before. It was also oddly comfortable, now she understood how they could all walk around in these all day. The sleeves dangled down to her waist, but that design was intentional, and the base was dragging a bit behind her, like how it looked on all the adherents. She slightly looked up to see how she looked.

Jenny never thought of herself as attractive, but this was helping just a bit. The only time she ever really felt... pretty, was with Jasper. He made her feel like a girl who was worth someone's time. But now she was going to kill someone while looking like this. Sure, that had meaning, but it certainly wasn't what she was planning on.

She didn't compare to Asher however, as scary as he might have been, there was no denying that he was attractive. He looked angelic in these robes, it matched perfectly with the rest of him. With her unnatural red hair and exhausted expression, she didn't come close. But still, she hadn't felt like this in a long time, so it was a nice change. It was almost distracting her from the nausea churning in her stomach. Nothing could help to fix that sickening feeling. She gasped for air and shakily started to get on the floor, fists bunched up to her face. The shaking hadn't stopped, and it was becoming more and more difficult to breathe. If only Jasper were still here. He would comfort her, and while he wasn't great with words, just his presence would be enough. Of course, that privilege was gone.

She choked back the burning sensation in her throat, grabbed her other clothes and unsteadily got out of the cramped room, which had only been making the sick feeling worse. She didn't need to look at them to know the adherents were giving her stares about her current state. The ragged breathing and a break out in sweat were making it clear she was terrified.

"Jenny, it's all going to be alright. We'll have to wait in here for just a bit longer. Afterwards, you have free roam until the ritual. You look like you could use some air." Charlotte said from the front. Her words were so monotone, but Jenny could see in her face that she just wanted to help. Getting out of that cabin at least for a little while would be helpful. There was one place she wanted to go before it all began.