Fall Inlove Again

FIA37- Marry

Dear My Sweet Caroline,

I still remember the day when i first saw you. That first glance you annoyed the hell out of me. You're persistent to win my heart. I hate the way you ruin my high school. You are possessive to me and it's killing me. You are not my girlfriend nor my fling but you act like one. My second glance at you, you slowly walk away. You said you're tired of loving me. I don't why but my heart wrenched upon hearing that you are tired chasing without any assurance to love you back. I hate myself for hurting your feelings. What an idiot ibwas. Since, you left me a realized i miss everything you do to me to caught my attention, i always thinking of you . You keep avoiding me. To be honest i want to kill myself that realization hit me. I fell inlove without any reason. I began to wonder how to cope up with everything. I'm coward to confess my feelings for you. I missed all the single moment to be with you.

February 13 i asked you to go out with me and be my date on the upcoming prom. I gathered all my strength to asked you that. Instead of hearing a yes you just give me a wide smile. I know that day my heart pounding so fast. After a month of being lonely with your presence you let me in again in your life. I'm so happy to be with you all the time. I feel like I'm walking in a white soft cloud. Even we don't have any label I'm happy walking hands to hands with you. You make my high school life colorful. I know you always say to me that you love me so much but upon hearing that three wors of yours is my favorite moment of you.

We were both happy together with my friends. You became the new member of our squad. I felt jealous how you smile and laugh to Marc and Calyx joke. I know I'm not clown like them but i want you to smile and laugh like that in my ways. You always told me how fun to be with my squad. Watching those beautiful curved in yours lips makes me wonder can i treasure that moment forever.

I decided to tell how i feel for you. I can't hide it anymore. I can still remember that night vividly. I laugh harder as you reject me. I confront you why you reject me that day. For the first time in my life i felt so futile. Am i late? or am i that bad? or is tgis my karma for not acknowledge your loved. You look afraid that night. I beg to you to explain why you do that to me. My world shuttered as you answer my question. I want to shout so bad how you do that to me. I can't blame you because it's my fault anyway. It's my fault for not telling you how you meant for me.

After that night i decided to chase you like you always do to me. I tried everything to make you fall again to my way. I always chose you even it breaks me completely. I never get tired chasing you because you my are my sweet Caroline. My Caroline.......

A year later you told me everything why you reject me. I cried in your arms. I looked up in the sky hoping for miracle. Your fake laughed killing me. How can you laugh like that in that situation. I realized your selfish. You're being selfish Caroline i never thought you could be this kind of woman. You keep pushing me away after your confession. You know I'm more persistent than you. I stay even you're tired of my childish attitude. I always went to your place even my grades are falling. I don't care if i failed that. You're important to me more than my grades. I always stay up all night watching how beautiful you are sleeping peacefully in the white sheet.

I decided to pursue you again. My friends help me and also your parents prepared the event. I'm happy decorating your birthday venue. Calyx told me that my freaking asshole. Marc laughed at me because I'm whipped. Atasha teased me how i blushed remembering our moments. Tyrion punched me harder for being a coward. Caspian comfort me. Karylle and Calyx is far away. Everything is set.

I guided you at the end of the aisle. I looked at you with teary eyes. You're weak and fragile that any moment you will collapsed behind that your still beautiful in my eyes. I'm afraid that time. But upon seeing your smile, the smile that makes my heart melt and my mind clouded. I dance with you under the full moon while my friends and your parents sang our favorite song. They quietly sobbing watching us. Exactly 12 o'clock i confessed again. But that confession turned into a dark mourning of your love ones. I lost you in my arms. You're sleeping peacefully with a smile on your lips. How can you smile saying goodbye to us? You're unfair. You left me without any words. You just smile after that. I hated myself so much. I hated that i let you go. I hated that you left me hanging. But i love you.