Home For The Holidays

Part 3

Nkosiyabo come back man let’s talk what do you mean by what you just said  to utata (dad)?” I asked him because I was able to snap out of my shocked state faster than the others. “You know your parents have secrets they think we will never find out. The question you should ask yourself now is are you really their kid or you are just another orphan they claim they saved”, Nkosiyabo responded and his eyes were full of rage and pain. I was starting to think back trying to find something I could remember from my childhood as Nkosiyabo walked away but I was so paralysed by what he had just told me to think about.

Could I have been an orphan? No way … has my mother always been my mother and dad has been there right?.
 I walked back with a rather confused face longing for answers Jabulile met me halfway “what did Nkosiyabo say to you?” she asked. I couldn’t relay what he said because I was trying to make sense of it myself. “Nothing he said he is going back to Johannesburg “, I lied.

As we walked in to check on how Ntsika was doing I noticed a woman was watching us from a distance I wanted to go to her but finding out how my brother was , was more important than a random stranger watching us from a distance I mean she could have been a stalker.

“Please tell me that no good son of yours did not do this to my precious baby!” mom shouting. We were guided by her voice in order to locate Ntsika in the ER. “What whose son? You are the one who picked that no good boy when I told you very well that we should have our kids and not bring in peoples kids especially people we did not know!, father shouting. That’s when we got the confirmation we had been looking for.

“So it’s true?” I opened the curtains that acted as a privacy barrier in the ER ward my parents face just sold it out. That look just told me everything that’s when I knew that what Nkosiyabo said was the truth now I was asking myself if am I ready to find out my truth, am I ready for a new reality other than the one I have now.

I was definitely going to need a moment before I could proceed to ask more questions. I felt a panic attack coming so I just ran out to get some air. As I was trying to breathe with my eyes closed I hear a womans voice “you still get those I thought you would grow out of that but I guess you did not. Just take deep breaths and try to think of happy moments and think of what makes you happy imagine it and tell me what you see”. “I see myself walking in sand ,the ocean water hitting my feet and the sound of the waves is amazing the sun is hitting my skin I hear laughter from other people in the ocean”, I imagined. Suddenly I was calm, this woman knew something about me that I did not know and her presence was soothing to me. “Who are you and how do you know about my panic attacks “, I asked.

 She looked at me as if she was caught off guard by the question, she then got up and smiled “you have grown into a handsome man and I am happy I got to see you guys”, as she ran off like she shouldn’t have been there from the first place.

 This day couldn’t get more puzzling well at least I knew now that Nkosiyabo is adopted but that woman said “you guys” what could she mean by that? Are we all orphans? I decided to go back inside and this time I was determined to get to the bottom of this, I wanted the truth and all of it. As I was by the door I heard machines beeping I bolted to the emergency room and my parents and siblings were pushed out by the doctors they stood outside the curtain and their faces very sad I got there and all I could hear from the other side of the curtain was a machine beeping and a doctor saying “clear”. It was about 7 minutes when the machines stopped beeping loud but normally and the doctor came out to tell us that Ntsika was having seizures. Our bad energy was basically affecting him I thought.

 I suggested that we all go home and come back in the morning to check on mom and Ntsika. Everyone thought that was a great idea for once I was listened to. The drive home was very long and the silence was too much enough for me to recap in my mind the series of events from today however the one that seemed to stand out was of that women I kept asking myself what she meant and trying to figure out how she knew us because I had never seen her anywhere.

Getting home, lights were all on I bet everyone could tell that we were not home I mean even the tavern was closed and that has never happened. Walking in the house and seeing the plates on the table Jabuliles cooked food gone to waste because no one took another bite and I was not hungry all I wanted was to go to bed. I got there and all I did was stare and the walls and play everything in my head till I couldn’t no more.

So I got up and decided to go to Nombuso. “Sis are you sleeping and can I come in?” Nombuso did not answer but I heard sobbing so I went in anyway. “Hey why are you crying? I asked. She just looked at me and sobbed further she could not even explain it but her eyes showed me so much pain I hugged her so tight as she cried after a while she was more calm and started wiping her tears.

“Do you want to talk about it? You know you can tell me anything Nom” as I tried to get her to open up. “Nkosiyabo is right, we don’t ….” Before Nombuso could finish Jabulile walked in and she had a straight face. “Nombuso what did I say to you? We said we would wait now didn’t we?” Jabulile asked. I was sitting there more puzzled. “Wait on what? What are you talking about? What was Nkosiyabo right about?” I asked. No one answered Jabulile walked out. “Brother let’s just sleep” Nombuso said. Now I had no choice but to go back to that room where I would stare at the walls till sunrise. Confusion was winning at this point or was I just a slow thinker?