Home For The Holidays

Part 5

“I don’t understand, why are you protecting him Jabulile. How long has he been doing this to you ?”, Nombuso asked Jabulile. “ For as long as I can remember.  But mom said my life would be worse than it already is. I did not want that because already she doesn’t love me and I have tried everything to get her affection back for her to be a mother to me even before Siphosenkosi that woman has never loved me she hated me more when I had my son . What kind of woman does that to her own kids?”, Jabulile crying as she responded.

 I couldn’t bare to listen to my sisters as they poured their hearts out speaking of nothing but painful experiences.  These couldn’t be the same people who are always cheerful, loving and kind. It couldn’t be them because if I carried so much hurt I would be dead inside. I got up because suddenly I felt a lump in my throat that threatened me as I tried to release a sigh I was gasping for air because I was having another panic attack.  I ran outside for some air I thought I’d get there and breathe but instead I couldn’t breathe as tears burnt my eyelids I released a loud scream. I knelt down defeated I’d like to think it was the pain because this one did not just victimize my sisters he destroyed them. He took away their future because how were they going to trust another man.

My sisters ran out to see if I was okay they found me kneeling and crying. Nkosiyabo ran out furious because it turns out our so called father had not gone to the hospital but he had packed up and ran taking our so called mothers stashed money and leaving her what was a goodbye note. It read “ Dear love , I’m sorry but what was has gone . I can not do this anymore.  The kids have grown and they are getting closer to finding out the truth and to telling each other the truth. I can not be around when that happens.  I’m sorry.  Love Solly" .

 I had a feeling of relief but more than that I was full of rage and like Nkosiyabo I was thirsty for this man’s blood I wanted to make him pay and torture him for everything he had done to my sisters. “I will hunt for this dog . You hear me ! I will find him and when I do best believe he will meet his maker !”, Nkosiyabo reassuring me that he had the same intentions as I did. We sat outside till sundown no one could go in the house to make food or even move till sundown.

We had hardly said anything to each other till sundown when Jabulile released the loudest scream as she cried. I then realized it was then she was being real with herself and starting to feel the pain caused by these traumas because all along she had to be strong and play the role of being our parent so whatever stresses were there she took them and made them hers . She did a great job at running the household and making sure we stick together that she forgot how to feel. She forgot she was human because she was overworked and everything was routine. Nkosiyabo held her so tight as she released a second scream you could hear the pain more than see it as she cried.

We decided to go inside the house one that we once called home but it was just a place full of nothing but painful memories. Nkosiyabo walked Jabulile to the couch as I rushed to get her water with sugar . Jabulile was breaking to pieces and I hated the fact that there was nothing I could do other than let her feel the pain. Nombuso was so helpless she had never seen Jabulile like this. Nkosiyabo continued to comfort her till her tears ended up putting her to sleep.

I took a blanket and put it over her. As she fell asleep the three of us were looking all over the house searching for the truth. We had hoped we would find something that would give us direction as to who our real parents were and were they were but we found nothing.

 As we sat down taking a break we heard a car pulling up outside.  We looked at each other wondering who it could be till we heard our so called mothers voice as she shouted “ You are such a horrible driver if you think I will give you a tip think again !. Wait for me here I will go inside to fetch your money”.

We were not happy about her arrival instead rage was bubbling up but I had learnt to contain myself till I got the truth. I wanted the truth before I could do something stupid but Nkosiyabo on the other hand was prepared to do anything before he got the truth. I had to be next to him just incase he loses his cool when Josephina walked in. “Why do you guys look like you are seeing a ghost ? Why are you standing in my house? Is anyone going to answer me? I forget I am left with useless kids. Where is your father ? “ as Josephina walked to the room asking us all these questions.
 “  Your excuse of a man left you “Nombuso responded. Josephina walked out of the room so fast while uttering “ Don’t you dare insult your father”. I couldn’t help but mumble “ He is not our father. 

He is a monster . He is a useless dog. A predator that preys on young girls and you? You are a useless woman . “. “ Excuse me ?”, Josephina said. “ You heard him ! You are a useless woman. You are cruel and I wish you could have died yesterday when you fainted “, Nkosiyabo said. She laughed Josephina laughed at us we thought we had broken her . She walked off to pay the cab drive when she came back passed us like we were not even there she laughed till she reached her room and closed the door.

 i saw Nkosiyabo wanted to go and kick that door down and strangle the truth out of her but I have to reward my brother from holding himself because he knew that we needed to find the truth first and fight later. If we were to find the truth it meant that we would have to wait for Jabulile to wake up because she also had to help out maybe she could have overheard the parents talking . But waiting was a long stretch so we continued to search the boxing we found at the houses storage. But still we found nothing we were also too tired to carry on it had been a long day and I couldn’t think of one thing my puffy eyes needed and that was to rest , however no one was prepared to go and sleep in his own room because this woman was back and we wouldn’t know what she had planned so we camped in the sitting room with Jabulile just like the old times. At least we had one good memory there. Moments of being a care free youngin and life was simple .