Home For The Holidays

Part 8

06:00 am *doors slamming* . I woke up I wondered what was happening but I decided to stay in bed for a while till I heard a sound like someone was dragging something that’s when I got out of bed I went to the sitting room because that’s where the sound was coming from I got there and it was just Jabulile moving the furniture around.  “ Sis its 6am in the morning and already you are doing this some of us are still trying to get more sleep “ I said. “ Good morning to you too sleeping beauty some of us are adults and we have work to do “ she sarcastically said. “ Did you even get any sleep because you have hectic eye bags “ I said as I walked away to pour myself a cup of coffee. “ Sleep is for the dead child" she said.

As I was pouring coffee I noticed Josephina was not home still because she would have been barking in Jabuliles ear for dragging her furniture around like that. Unbothered I walked back to Jabulile “Tell me sis how are you honestly with what we have discovered so far ? You have not actually spoke about any emotional baggage in a long time . I’m sorry I have not been there for you I just….” Jabulile stopped me before I could continue as she had this warm smile on her face she said “ I’m fine brother relax before you get another panic attack “ as she walked away to the kitchen. I followed her because  I just had this sudden cold feeling inside looking into her eyes I noticed something I hadn’t been paying attention to all these years. In her eyes I saw the pain and how dead she was inside but she was just doing everything she could to live on and take care of us.

 It was an unsettling look of a woman who is ready to give up on life like she was just waiting for that last pound to the nail on her casket and she would be on her way. I felt like a failure.  I followed her “ But sis let us be realistic here you are…. “ I couldn’t finish the sentence as I was shocked by what Jabulile was holding . “What the hell is that ? Jabulile what are you doing!” I said. As I saw her laying on the floor knife on her hand she was ready to stab herself.  How much can one take before trying to kill herself. I tried to wrestle the knife out of her hands “Let me go Nqaba I am tired of living like this please let me rest my soul can not take any more of this “ she said as she cried so loud that the rest of the siblings woke up.

During the moment of her crying I had a moment to finally get the knife as I hugged her she let out another scream you could tell she was torn. “ I cant do this anymore I cant I just cant “ she said crying all we could do is just hug her . It was then we knew that this was beyond us and we needed to get her some help but for the time being all we could do was support her and be there for her.

Ntsika got to the kitchen he had a puzzled  face “ Guys what is going on? “ he asked. “ Now is not the  time Ntsika now is not the time “ Nkosiyabo said. I got Jabulile up and took her to her room to rest we told her we will take care of everything she must not worry. As I closed the door to her room Nombuso met me as I walked to the kitchen “ What if she tries to kill herself again what are we going to do ?” she asked. It wasn’t long we heard a mirror breaking we looked at each other,  Nkosiyabo and Ntsika running from the kitchen as they asked “What is going on ? “ . “ She better not be doing what I think she is doing “ Nombuso said.

I turned around to open the door I realized it was locked and this meant one thing that she was doing exactly what Nombuso had said. “ Jabulile open this door please sis don’t do it! Don’t do this to us it wont help you . It will just pass the pain over to us !” I shouted. Nkosiyabo banging on the door “ Jabulile think of your son he needs you more than anything please mtase please do not do this I am begging you do not put us through this pain! “ as he shouted. We got no response.  “ Everyone move away from the door “ Nkosiyabo said as he tried to kick the door down multiple times till Ntsika snapped put of being shocked and helped him after 30 minutes of trying finally the door was down . Nombuso got in first and she let out a scream in Jabuliles bathroom as she found her laying on her bathroom floor wrists  cut blood on the floor.
“ No no no Jabulile do not leave me sis please do not leave me. Ntsika do something you are a doctor !!” Nombuso shouted.

As he stood there paralyzed and me on the other hand I couldn’t breathe I was having yet another episode bad timing I thought this was not the time  to have a panic attack. Nkosiyabo calling for an ambulance but then again he realized it will take long to get here so he decided to go get a car he hid somewhere bare in mind this was a stolen vehicle from back in the days where Nkosiyabo was a notorious miscreant but that’s a story for another day. He came back rushing with the car as we took Jabulile to hospital blood everywhere Nombuso couldn’t stop crying I was doing my breathing exercises Ntsika finally snapped out of the shocked and tried to help Jabulile he put pressure on her cuts. “ Drive faster Nkosiyabo! Hang in there sis please don’t leave us !“ Ntsika shouted.

“ Please take care of my son . Tell him I love him so much and I will forever watch over him “ Jabulile said. “ No no you are going to live okay. You are going to live and tell him that yourself and actually watch over him physically !” I finally blurted.  Finally we made it to hospital 5 hours later Jabulile had bled out a lot but she was still alive we rushed her in the ER where we came across Maria again. It was as if she knew we were coming . She got a doctor to attend us. “ What happened here “ the doctor asked as he ordered the nurses around as he was assessing everything.  We were contemplating between telling the truth or lie because we knew they would take her to a psychiatric ward but what if it was for the best. “ She tried to kill herself . Please help my sister doc please “ Nombuso said as she crying hysterically.  On the other hand Maria was helping me with my breathing exercises but shit hit the fan they had to bring in the oxygen tank. Now I was not intending on staying in hospital but it looks like Jabulile was not the only one my siblings were going to leave behind.
 

“ Where is Nqaba ?” I heard Ntsika asking . “ This side brother “I tried to shout but It was somehow impossible with the oxygen mask. They rushed to where I was “ Not you too “ Nombuso crying. “ No sis do not cry please I am fine okay I promise I will be home in no time “ I tried to calm her down. “ Maria is there a way you can get me a wheelchair so I can put this tank and join my siblings as we wait to hear how Jabulile is doing? “ I asked. “ Mr Ntabeni you always ask extra things. Of course not rest I will keep you posted” Maria said. “ but you not even a doctor “ I said. She then told my siblings to wait in the waiting area they would be updated by the doctor about how Jabulile and I were doing. They left with long faces but they had to obey so they wouldn’t be kicked out.
“Anyone want coffee? “ Ntsika asked. “ Yes please “ both Nkosiyabo and Nombuso said.

Ntsika walked away to get them some coffee. “ Hey stop crying “ Nkosiyabo said to Nombuso as he noticed that even though she was not screaming her lungs out but tears were falling off her cheeks. “ I cant help it. I can’t afford not to Jabulile gave me love our mother failed to give us she practically raised me. I went to her whenever I had issues with anything and like any mother would she would help me out I can not afford to lose her I can not bare to see her in that state" Nombuso said as tears continued to roll down her cheeks. “ You don’t understand brother you were not with us the past years have been very hard and Jabulile has been our pillar if it was not for her we wouldn’t be the people we are now “ Nombuso continued. “ I know I have not been the best but…” Nkosiyabo said  but before he could finish Ntsika walked in. “ Here is some coffee guys “ Ntsika said. “ Thanks “ Nkosiyabo and Nombuso said.

“ Guys I feel like I am missing a lot here.  What happened while I was at hospital? “ Ntsika asked. “ Now is not the time to be asking such Ntsika. Our sister us laying there and we don’t even know how her condition is . Please save the questions for later on “ Nombuso said. “ Geez, I was just asking no need to eat me up Nombuso” Ntsika said. It was up until 7 hours later when the doctor walked in the waiting area Nkosiyabo, Nombuso and Ntsika stood up “ How is she doc? Is she going to be fine? Please tell me good news. Tell us good news" Nombuso asking the doctor.  “ She is going to be just fine. She just lost a lot of blood but she is stable you can go see her but she is asleep now please do not make noise so you do not disturb her “ the doctor said. “ Oh thank God in heaven. 

Thank you  doctor  “ Nombuso said. Nkosiyabo let out a sigh as a sign of relief.  Ntsika had a heart warming smile . “ Your sister is going to be fine “ Maria said as she came to check up on me.  I was so relieved that I started crying because I was grateful to the Creator for giving my sister another chance to live. I was starting to think if the truth needed to come out and was it that important to me ? I spent the night questioning if the truth was worth losing my family for.  My thoughts were an ocean of silence and I was drowning in it.