Whatever your reason is, if you cheated. You cheated.
I CHEATED
“Mag-usap nga tayo. " agad akong napalingon kay Chris na kakapasok pa lang sa bahay niya.
I called him right away na pumunta dahil kanina na ako kinakabahan at nagcocompose ng script para masabi sa kaniya ang lahat ng kamaliang nagawa ko.
I am currently sitting on his sofa at hindi ko alam kung kakayanin ko pa ba ang kamang naramdaman. I am panicking! My knees are wobbling right now. Di ko na alam kung ano ang gagawin.
“Where were you last night?" His jaw are clenched habang pormal na nakatayo, its like he's standing in front of someone who made a contract with him. Not a commitment. Dagdag pa niya, “I called you countless times dahil nag-alala na ako. Sabi ng mama mo na di ka pa daw umuwi. I can't reach Jess. So, baby, where were you? "
My lips shivered, “Chris..." Habang pinigilan ang sariling hindi maiyak, “I cheated on you."
Napaawang ang labi niya, “Ano?"
“I cheated on you! I was out having a party last night nang may—may biglang lumapit sa akin. We talked. I—I can't remember the face but gumising na lang ako nitong umaga na...na katabi yung lalaki. I—I wasn't naked p-pero nataranta ako k-kaya agad akong umalis s-sa bahay niya and... " napaos ang boses ko, “I'm sorry!",I cried habang tinakpan ang bibig ng kamay para di kumawala ang paghikbi.
He just looked at me. He just stared. Ni isang emosyon ay di ko man lang nakita sa kaniya.
“I'm sorry. I don't mean to cheat on you—"
“You don't mean to cheat on me? Hindi mo sinadya?" He scoffed, “Anong klaseng mindset yan, Annimone?"
“H-Hindi ko alam!" I cried, and this time, lumabas yung hikbi.
“I was drunk so many times pero di ko pa din nakalimutang dumistansiya sa mga babae. Cheating is a choice, Annie. Not an accident. How can you be with someone else when you're in a relationship with the person you love? Don't tell me ginawa mo lang yon dahil nadala ka sa alcohol? No. Its not because of the alcohol. Its how unfaithful you are. "
Umiling-iling ako, “I—I'm sorry! Hindi ko alam that it was going to happen. I'm sorry, Chris. Sorry!"
“Cheating should never be tolerated. Not in school, not in any places. Cheating does not only destroy your dignity, it also hurts someone you love. "
“How can you beg for a second chance when you didn't even think twice when you chose to cheat?"
Napaawang ang labi ko.
He added, “You know what you did. I love you but I'm not gonna accept someone in my life again who made not just a mistake, but a sin. I gave everything I could. Am I not enough to you, baby?"
“No, you are enough! You are not just enough. You are so much more! It was my fault. I'm sorry. " Umiyak pa ako ng umiyak.
Nilapitan ako ni Chris nang tuluyan na akong mapaluhod sa sahig. He pulled me toward him in a hug. Wala akong magawa but to snake my arms around his neck, trying to hold him closer, afraid to let him go.
“Shhhh, huwag ka nang umiyak." He chuckled, “I'm glad you confessed."
I can't help but cry louder.
“You know, that guy who was talking to you last night. The guy you woke up with this morning. The guy you said you cheated with was me. " I heard his chuckle.
Napatigil ako.
“Don't cry. Don't cry, baby." Mas lalo siyang napatawa.
“No, it wasn't you! Stop pretending that you aren't hurt!" Buwelta ko.
“Not really." He laughed tsaka nilabas ang phone at pinakita sa kin, “Look, I have a record kung paano ka nalasing last night. "
I was inside that bar and since I wore glasses, masyadong hindi ako nakilala ng kung sino. I heard my boyfriend's voice asking me if I was single.
“Yes, I have a boyfriend. Do you know that I am in love with him and he loves me too? Alam mo din siguro kung anong mararamdaman niya if you'll take advantage of me since you're a man yourself." I said in the video.
May sinabi pang kung ano si Chris na di ko masyadong naintindihan.
And so I answered in the video, “No? He's more than what I wanted. What's the problem if he's not my husband yet? Does that mean I get to replace him anytime? Why would I replace him with a jerk? I am not dumb. I am drunk. But I won't cheat!" I snapped.
And the rest of the video was me pushing Chris away from myself dahil ayaw ko daw na magcheat.
“See? If you truly love someone, kahit lasing ka pa...kahit wala ka sa huwisyo...kahit ano pa yang nangyari sa yo, you will stay faithful to that person." He placed a kiss on my forehead, “Hindi ko alam kung bakit hindi mo ako nakilala kagabi. Sinundo kita kagabi because you were so drunk and Jess told me about it."
“I—I..." Wala akong masabi habang nakayuko.
I just made a drama and it was him all along?
“Nagulat na lang ako kanina pagising ko na wala ka sa tabi and then you called that you're in my apartment. Geez, pasensiya na, baby. Di pala kita nadala sa bahay noon." Pagtawa niya saka hinalikan ako ng ilang beses sa pisngi.
Buwisit talaga. Akmang tatayo na ako nang bigla niya akong binuhat, napulupot yung magkabilang hita ko sa bewang niya.
“Kaya, from now on, you will not drink. Not because I don't trust you but because di mo ako nakilala kapag lasing ka." He kissed my chin, “Now, anong gusto ng baby ko sa breakfast? Hmm?"
Napanguso ako. How pathetic of me.
But the thing is,
Alcohol, Misunderstanding, Pagkawala ng spark, And distance is not a reason to cheat.
How can you love someone you cheated with? Paano mo nagawang mahalin yung taong kasama mong nangloko?
There are reasons, yes. But better end the relationship first before you will find another one. And don't cheat.
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