Pagkatapos ng date namin ni Chris, we decided to take a long walk back home. We both held hands in silence, not even words came out of our lips. Mas binigyan namin ng pansin at pinakiramdaman ang katahimikan ng paligid.
Ito yung paborito kong scene namin palagi ni Chris. We love listening to our own heartbeats as the summer breeze hugged each of our bodies with its coolness. The moon was up so high, and the stars are brighter than ever.
Hinigpitan ko ang paghawak sa kamay ni Chris at tumingala sa kaniya, “Chris... "
“Hmm, yes, baby?" bumaba ang mga mata niya sa kin sa paglingon niya.
“I once talked to your last ex in a café. We got along just fine. She said na gusto daw niyang malaman kung ano na ang nangyari sayo. So I told her about you." Ngumuso ako.
“Ano namang sinabi mo sa kaniya?" he raised an eyebrow.
I shrugged, “I told her how gentle you are, how manly, how you gave me lessons as if you were a some kind of an advisor."
He chuckled, “Silly."
“And she was shocked because you weren't like that to her daw. What does she meant to tell me, Chris?" Usisa ko.
Habang nakahawak sa kamay ko, he pushed himself up to a fence made of bricks and sat on top of it. Nakadungaw siya sa akin habang hawak—hawak pa din ang kamay ko.
“I have been acting different around you." He smiled, “When I was with my exes before, I was what they describe me calm, that typical 'i don't care' expression. I do smile at naglalambing din pero not this way, not like this way."
Tumingala siya sa kalangitan. The stars filled his eyes as he continued, “When I'm with you, I feel like I have to be careful. Yung tipong kailangan kong maging maingat dahil baka one wrong move, iiwan mo na ako. And kahit ngayon, even if you're already my girlfriend, kinakabahan pa din ako."
“Oh, is that so?" malamig kong tugon habang tiningala siya.
“I guess, when you love someone, you get to do things you've never done before." He bit his lower lip, “The way I love you is different. Nakakaadik, baby. I used to hate pain before but when I met you, I get to love pain. I get to feel how good it feels like to be in pain. And you gave me a reason to understand why pain isn't that bad at all."
“Huh? Such a masochist." I glared at him habang napatawa.
“All my ex gave me different lessons but they gave me the same pleasure, the same satisfaction, the same happiness. But when it comes to you, love feels more alive because of pain." Itinaas niya ng bahagya ang kamay ko saka hinalikan ang likod ng palad, “You can hurt me all you want. But the more you're hurting me, the more I grew to love you. If this isn't love, then tell me what is this?"
“Ewan ko sayo, Chris." I rolled my eyes at him, “Sadista ka ata o masochista."
“Call me a sadist for finding pleasure in pain. Call me a masochist for loving the way you hurt me." He smiled, “But baby, I love the way how the pain you gave me made me into a better person."
“Chris, ang drama mo... I was talking about what she meant to tell me." I rolled my eyes.
Bumaba siya sa pagkakaupo sa fence saka lumapit sa kin, “You silly woman. Di mo pa din nagets no?" He chuckled and held my arms. “Alam ko kung ano yung nagets mo talaga."
“Ano?"
“I love you." He muttered.
Di ko maiwasang mapangiti.
Ginulo niya ang buhok ko, hinawakan uli ang kamay saka hinila palakad.
“Ang pilya mo talagang babae ka." He chuckled as we continued to walk under the moonlight.
Oh, Chris.
They said that love is painful. But I didn't know that pain can teach you to love deeper too.
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