Youthful Blossom

CHAPTER 5: Back Home

Finally, I was home with my family, except my father, as I only saw him during the weekends at his place, but I did get to see him again on the following weekend. After I settled at home, I texted my internet friends on Instagram in a group chat that I was in, and informed everyone that I was gone for four days because I was submitted to a mental hospital. None of them noticed, or maybe one of them did but did not care. One of them even claimed that I was lying. I felt sad and unwanted, but I knew they were going to behave like they did, so it wasn't surprising, as it was always how they treated me. There was always drama. Never a single day of peace or fun. I think part of our problems were caused by me though since I have Asperger's syndrome, which is on the autism spectrum, and people with the difference may come off as inappropriate to neurotypicals because of our lack of understanding others socially. I didn't know this back then though, so I always thought my friends in the group chat were just mean, but with my current knowledge, I know that it is because I happen to be different from other people, who are naturally very-social beings, so it all makes sense to why they may have not liked me. The exact same happened to me in elementary and middle school. I always happened to offend everyone, but never knew why and how I was offending them.
So, after I texted my internet friends, I posted a picture on my female turtle's Instagram account, Maxxlonia. I didn't inform my followers about why I was inactive for a couple of days. I just posted a picture of Maxxlonia because I hadn't posted in almost a week, and because I had promised a new post for the first day of November. I thought since none of my friends noticed, it wasn't necessary to share the information to hundreds of people that I had no relationship with. I was grateful for all of people that followed my account, and I thought it was excusable for a large amount of them not to notice my four-day disappearance as they did not personally know me, and because I wasn't famous, but it was not excusable for the friends I had.
I never left my Instagram account for Maxxlonia as it was the only place for me to communicate with people, comfortably, as I had social anxiety, and yet-to-be-discovered ASD, which didn't allow me to properly communicate with human beings. I had my challenges online with textual communication, but I was much better at it than in-person communication. Instagram was kind of a safe-space for me as I didn't feel comfortable anywhere else other than Instagram and home. Luckily, I didn't have to go back to school. I was allowed to stay home and rest from all of the pain I experienced that haunting year. I felt so relieved knowing that i wasn't going to go back to such a place for a while that only brought more depression, stress, and social anxiety. I was finally free from the world's scary side, I thought. I only had to deal with cyber-bullies on Instagram, but at least I had some weight taken off my chest, so I could breathe better than ever.
At home, I listened to music in bed most of the time. I had never felt so safe and calm. This time around, my mother had problems with an ex-boyfriend, who both share a child: Damian, one of my brothers. They had problems all year and their problems wouldn't end until mid 2017. Damian's biological father had his girlfriend involved, who I thought had a strange obsession with my brother. She had plenty of pictures of her with Damian on social media and even had one of the pictures as her profile picture on Instagram. It was months away before she tried to break into our apartment, in March or April 2017, which scared me as I thought that I was going to die, but thankfully, we were safe.
On the other hand, I got to stay home for the rest of the school year (2016-2017). I was supposed to take medication and receive therapy much sooner, but there were problems with my medical insurance. The insurance wouldn't accept me because they thought that I wasn't eligible as they claimed that I had no US citizenship or residency, even though I was born in the country, which automatically makes me a citizen of the country thanks to the US constitution. My mother tried to fix this issue a couple of times but they kept informing us the same reason as to why they were denying us until April 2017. A social worker, Mr. Wessel (I believe that was how his name was spelt), helped us with the problem, and paid for a few of my therapy appointments until I finally received therapy, covered by insurance, in April 2017, and medication in May 2017. I felt guilty because I didn't want him to feel obligated to help us out financially with our medical expenses, but he never stopped being helpful nor caring as he was a kind man. I don't know where he is today as the last time I have heard of him was from late 2017, but hopefully, he is enjoying life.