Hair Dye & Emotion

Chapter 18

Previous Night

*Alicia POV*

"Chinese foods here Alicia!" I grinned to myself as I finished putting in some clothes and throwing up my hair to lounge around the house in. Michael had asked me what I had wanted for dinner and I had a sudden craving for Chinese food. He gladly agreed and ordered some from the local takeaway in the city whilst I took a shower. It still felt weird to be staying with Michael but I wouldn't be here for long, I would be moving into my own place in a matter of weeks.

"One minute!" I shouted back down to him and grabbed Michael'a sweater that I had yet to return to him. I walked out of his bathroom, grabbing the towels I had used to place in the wash and made my way down to where I could smell singapore noodles. I walked into the kitchen to help Michael plate all the food up. As soon as we had done that, we took our feast into the living room to watch a movie whilst we ate.

"This is amazing! New favourite Chinese place!" I moaned as I chewed on a piece of chicken. I was in heaven and had a serious foodgasm taking place on my taste buds. Michael laughed and shovelled more rice into his mouth, half of it landing back on his plate. I chuckled at him and nearly choked on my own food.

"I can't believe you actually missed you mouth!" I was laughing hysterically by this point and I had to place my plate on the coffee table to ensure that I didn't spill it anywhere. I gripped my ribs as I laughed harder. Michael placed his food down, flicking a piece of prawn cracker in my direction.

"Fuck you! My mouth isn't that big! But guess what is?" he wiggled his eyebrows at me and we both laughed harder, if that was possible. Small tears were trailing down my face as my body shook. He continued to  flick the crisp like delicacy at me. Before I could comprehend anything he grabbed my waist and pulled me off the sofa and onto the floor, creating a laughing pile on the floor. I wiggled around underneath him so he didn't squash me and tried to calm myself down. Michael was hovering slightly above me and just looked at me.

"What are you looking at?" I asked him, trying to keep a smile off my face. He shook his head and looked down for a moment before returning his gaze to me.

"You, you're just so beautiful." He blushed but didn't look away this time. No one had called me that in a long time. No one apart from Jason but he never meant it when he said it, he only wanted to get what he wanted out of me. When Michael said it to me, I knew he meant it. he was so sincere about it and his eyes blazed with passion. His eyes flickered down down to my lips and he slowly began to lean forward. My brain was beginning to haze. Was I really going to let Michael kiss me? Did I want this? I knew I wanted this but not this fast. His lips brushed mine and I turned my head to the side before he could go any further, clearing my throat awkwardly. I saw hurt flash in his eyes but it disappeared as fast as it had come on.

"Michael... I do really like you... but I don't want this yet" I told him, my voice lowing to nothing more than a whisper. He nodded and got off me, pulling me back onto the sofa next me. I felt too awkward to sit eating dinner with him so I took my food upstairs and ate in my temporary bedroom. I wanted to call Lucy but it was her first night alone with Ashton and I didn't want to interrupt them so I spent the remeinder of the night in my room wondering how I long it would take me to be be completely rid of whatever barrier was holding me back from loving another.

Present Day

I finished re-telling the events of the previous night to Lucy and Ashton. Neither of them said anything. They just sat and listening intently to me. This was one of the qualities I loved about them so much. They didn't ever need to say anything when I was talking to me or even just listening. They understood me so completely. This was one of the reasons why me and Lucy were best friends, why we were practically family after all these years. Hell, to me she WAS my family. She understood me more than my parents ever did. She had been the one that had dragged me out of the dark place I had seeken refuge in a few years back. She was the reason I was still breathing today.

"Wow. Is this really a problem though? Michael clearly likes you and you like him. Yes, I know these feelings have sprung themselves upon you both pretty fast but that could be a good thing. There is obviously a spark between you both. A spark that wasn't there once between you and Ja- Dickhead. I think you should give this a chance. But clear your head first." She smiled at me and I returned it. My head was still spinning and filled with futile questions that I either knew the answers too or were too scared to find out. I did no the answer to one question though. I wanted to move past this god forsaken barrier that was holding me back from possibly being happy. I could swim in this pool of self pity and fear forever. Someday I needed to pull myself back out, dust myself off and carry on. I just needed a little push. And I think I have finally found that. Michael. I wasn't going to push him away anymore. He deserved to be happy and he deserved a chance. I was going to grant him that.

"Thankyou so much guys. You don't realise how much you help me sometimes and I can't think of a way to ever repay you." They both shook thier heads at me and engulfed me in a good hug. I felt safe, I felt secure. I glanced up and noticed something on Lucy's neck. Was that a...

"So... Looks like someone had a good night" I joked and Lucy pulled back, her hand flying to her neck, blushing deeply.

"I-ugh.. Oh my..." She stumbled to pull a sentence together and I just laughed at them. They were young and were more than just in love.

"It's fine guys. I don't judge anyone." I decided to turn the spotlight back to the matter at hand so Lucy wouldn't feel anymore embarrased about the hickeys on her neck even though there would be endless teasing from the other boys if they saw them.

"I don't want to be the one to make a move first with Michael. Yes, I know he already tried but I'm the kind that wants to be swooned of my feet. It probably the only female quality I actually possess, well that and my mon-" Ashton made a sound like he wanted to gag before covering his ears and singing loudly and purposely out of tune to drown out what I was about to say.

"LA LA LA LAAAAA TOO MUCH INFORMATION!" Me and Lucy laughed at his immaturity level.

"Okay, but what am I supposed to do?" I asked them both and they both looked at eachother, their eyes connected like they were having a telepathical conversation. Ashton looked back to me.

"I could talk to him?" He told me and I instantly nodded my head.

"It needs to be soon rather than later. I am momentarily living with him and the tension could be cut with a knife. It's like a time bomb and I've got to diffuse it before it blows up in my face." He nodded at me. I stayed talking to them for most of the day until it started to get dark and I ended up having dinner with my two best friends. I texted Michael to tell him I would be home soon enough and he didn't need to wait up. Even our text conversations were different. Ashton excused himself after eating his food to go round to Michael's place, probably to talk to him and dismiss some of the tension and awkwardness that had risen since last night. I couldn't help but feel guilty because I had wanted to kiss him but I wasn't ready. I guess that's what happens when you have a dick for an ex boyfriend. But there was one thing I was certain of now. I wasn't going to repress my feelings toward Michael any longer. I was going to welcome them with open arms and hope for the best. I was going to open myself up again, I didn't want to be this scared person anymore. I wanted to be the old me again and I was going to get her back.

A/N

This is probably one of the longest chapters I have ever wrote and I hope you guys enjoy it. I'm building this up to the second dramatic happening after the whole Jason ordeal. The whole Jason thing isn't over yet but you will have to just wait and see. Anyway I will update tomorrow or as soon as I can, I'm getting really busy at school with coursework and revision classes for my final exams but I will still update, ily and I will see you all soon <3<3<3