Hair Dye & Emotion

Chapter 32

*Alicia POV*

The UK was amazing. We'd been here for about a week me and Lucy had been to see so many sights (and also been mobbed a couple times from fans considering we were THE Ashton Irwin and THE Michael Clifford's girlfriends as they had put it) whilst the guys were at show preperations or rehersals. But Michael was still being wierd. I was beginning to get really worried. Michael was being distant and to be honest, I was sure he was going to break up with me. I love him and loving someone like I love Michael was something I didn't think I would be capable of ever again after everything I was put through with that prick. He made me feel undesirable to anyone, unworthy of anyones time or LOVE. Michael brought everything back for me and put it in perspective and now it's like he's taking it all away. He still tells me he loves me, he kisses me everyday and does everything that is normal for a boyfriend to do, but he isn't ACTING the same, it's like his mind is somewhere else. He always has this far away look in his eyes, like he's seeing something that I can't see and everytime I ask him about it he just shrugs it off and goes and sits on his bunk or put on his headphones and blanks the world out. I asked the boys if any of them know what is wrong but none of them will give me straight answer. Lucy keeps bouncing up and down everytime I ask her if she is clued up to what is going on and then she'll clamp her hand over her mouth and run off. She was sat with me now so I took the liberty of trying to get the truth out of her. She would never lie to me so there must be something really big going on for her not to tell me or to hide whatever was going on from me.

"Everything will be okay. It's probably just the stress of the tour getting to him" then she ran off, well ran as much as a 6 month pregnant woman can so it was more of a waddle, she was getting really big now. again. I was going to chase her down and demand the truth out of her but when I stood outside the bathroom door and heard her throwing up, I knew this time she had a valid reason to run away this time. It was the 5 time she'd thrown up this morning. Pregnancy effects everyone differently.

"ASHTON! LUCY IS THROWING UP AGAIN! ASHLEIGH'S REALLY GIVING HER A HARD TIME TODAY!" I shouted. I heard a bang and a muttered "shit" so I guessed Ashton banged his head and my assumption was proved correct when he emerged from his bunk rubbing his bandana clad head. I jabbed my thumb towards the bathroom door as he smiled and entered the small room.

"Hey baby, I'm here-" His speech was cut off as I closed the door and retreated back to my bunk. I didn't have anything against the couple. they were two of my closest friends but I didn't want to hear loved up speeches when it felt like my own relationship was falling apart around me. I clambered up and drew the curtain to hide myself. My bunk was directly above Michael's and he would either be asleep or playing a video game. Either way, he wouldn't come looking for me anytime soon. I grabbed my phone from it's charger and grabbed my earphones, plugging them in and pressing play on my Black Veil Brides playlist. I laid back and let the lyrics flow through me, letting a few tears escape from my eyes. I had been holding them back and I couldn't do that anymore. I needed to let all my emotion flow out of me or I would just revert back to the dark hole Lucy pulled me out of. But I couldn't help but think that I had gotten myself into yet another stupid meaningless relationship where I was going to end up heart broken. I love Michael so much but whether that was recipicated was really unclear at the moment. I let a sob out of my lips and closed my eyes. I rolled over and pressed my face into the pillow to let louder cries spill without being heard. I saw the light pour into my bunk and I turned to see Michael standing at my bunk. I was expecting to see Lucy but I took one of my earbuds out and that told me that she was still emptying the contents of her stomach.

"Baby? What's wrong?" His voice was riddled with confusion and guilt. He knew he was the cause for my tears. That was one thing he promised me he would never do, be the cause for my tears. I wiped at my face and pulled both my earphones out of my ears, turning off the music before placing the phone and wires aside.

"Nothing, I just-" I couldn't even form a coherent sentance. I'd let the tears begin to fall and now there was no stopping them. Michael climbed up onto the bunk to join me and he was quick to wrap me in his arms, his thumbs wiping away any tears that littered my face.

"Baby, I... I know I've been distant lately and I'm so sorry for that. I've just had so much on my mind and the stress of the tour added to everything and I pushed you away. I never meant to. Please forgive me. I love you so much" He looked at me and I saw his eyes were full of regret and self loathing for making me feel this way. I took a deep breath to try and collect myself before trying and failing to smile at him. When I couldn't smile at him, I just grabbed the back of his neck and crashed my lips against his and when I sat crash, I honestly mean it, I heard my nose in the process.

"Hey Alicia, I was wondering if you wanted to come with us- woah" Luke stopped talking when he saw the embrace that me and Michael was in. I hadn't realised it but he had pulled me to straddle his hips. He smirked at us both and wolf whistled. It was at these moments that I found it hard to believe that he was gay. A lot of the time, him and Calum acted like they were straigh. To anyone else it looked like close friends, "brothers from another mother" sort of thing but when you actually knew them, you could clearly see hoe camp they both are but they do have their straight moments.

"Sorry Luke, what were you saying" I pulled myseld off of Michael and sat down next to him, only for him to bury his face in my neck and hug my akwardly from the side.

"I was saying, do you want to come with us to get some food before we head to the venue for the show" He crossed his arms over his chest and raised his eyebrow. BAM the gay was back! I giggled at him and nodded.

"Yeah, sure I'll come with" I smiled at him and he began to turn around before spinning back.

"Don't take too long" he winked and walked away. I smiled and breathed a sigh. It was half full of relief because Michael was with me.

"Baby, are we okay?" He asked me, removing his head from my neck. I turned to him and kissed him, entangling my hands in his blue hair.

"Yes, we're good but please come talk to me next time? I thought you were going to leave me and I felt like shit. I thought everything was going back to how it was when I was with that fucking dick" I said. I saw the guilt flash across his face but it quickly disappeared.

"Baby, I would never hurt you like that and I don't plan on ever leaving you. There's actually a reason I was so distant... I wanted to do this properly...." He trailed off and jumped down from the bunk, turning around to take my hand and pull me down with him. I was confused. He reached into his back pocket and pulled out a black box and began to descend down onto one knee. I gasped and my hands flew to my mouth.

"Alicia Jayne Livesey, you have made this past 6 months some of if not the best 6 months of my life. I love you so fucking much. Please will you marry me? I wanted to do a great big romantic gesture but after seeing you crying and knowing I was the the cause behind those tears, I didn't want to wait any longer. I love you." He looked up at me and I was still shocked. The whole bus was silent, I sweat yoiu could of heard a pin drop. Slowly my thoughts slithered back to me. Did I want this? A smile made it's way onto my lips and I nodded my head.

"YES!" He stood up and placed the most beautiful ring on my finger and I dove on him, wrapping my legs around his waist and kissing his lips harder than I ever had before. Cheers erupted from behind us and I finally understood why everyone was being secretive. We left the tour bus to go get food. I looked around at the couples around me. Lucy and Ashton, who loved eachother so much and loved everyone else equally as much, expecting a baby. Calum and Luke, one of THE cutest couples I have ever come across with and undying love for Netflix and for eachother. Then there was me and Michael. We had grown close during a time I had been broken. He had helped fix me and now we were engaged. WE ARE GETTING MARRIED...

A/N

GUYS! I'M SO SORRY I DIDN'T UPDATE I WENT OUT OF TOWN TO SEE SOME FAMILY AND I DIDNT HAVE WIFI UNTIL NOW COS IM HOME AGAIN ILYASFM! THANKYOU FOR 1.1K READS! THATS AWESOME! <3<3<3