Save Me

Chapter 51

I miss him.

I miss him terribly and I hate every single part of me that needs him. I hate me for craving his touch and the way those feeling which made me feel so wanted and alive exploded inside of me. I hate that I desire his lips pressed in mine, his body leaned in mine. I hate this. I hate me.

Whenever those feelings flood my head, the pain magnifies, and then the anger takes over me. All broken down, collapsed, devastated. All fell down and nothing stood still and happily memorable. Ruined.

Sometimes the pain is worst than the day I found out. Some others the fury is dueling it. And others, I feel pain ripping my skin and leave to bleed to death indifferently.

I reach my locker to take the books for my next class when two small voices corrupt my tranquility.

"I heard they made out this weekend!"

"Really?"

"Yeah, after the break-up with Rebecca he has changed for the worst."

"You know you else broke up?"

"Corbyn?" Her tone is playful yet whining and I don't understand until both burst into laugher. "Like they would have lasted, come on."

"They say they broke up because he got bored of her and honestly I don't why wouldn't he? Have you seen her?"

"I have and I don't understand why he choce her! I mean the half school is hotter than her," she murmurs and I roll my eyes throwing my books into the locker angrily.

"I heard they broke up because she wasn't good enough in the certain area that you know...Corbyn is an expert." I feel my stomach ache at the conversation and I think I'm going to vomit.

"Oh, yeah, we had a moment once and it was mind-blowing. God, what wouldn't I do to have this God all on my own." she wishes and I hear the pleading in her voice that makes my face twists in annoyance and temper.

"She must be the stupidest person to let him go,"

"Stupid? She must have a brain injury or I don't know a chemical imbalance!" Their waves of laugher travel to my ears and I feel the rage erupt inside of me before I explode. I shut the door of my locker so loud that silence falls upon the people around me, stopping the chatters. I turn towards them and stare furiously at the two girls that have obviously nothing to do other than gossip around for other's lives.

I walk to them being aware of the stares that are following me; though my gaze is fixed on theirs. They are glaring back at me until I stand before them.

"Don't you have anything better to do than offend and gossip others? I guess your life is so dull and uneventful that you need the other to bring some interest in them. Pathetic, if you ask me. You know, I expected girls to be more cautious and empathetic than that. But I guess I was seriously and utterly wrong." I walk past them but I spin to face them before I turn the corner.

"Oh...and you know what? He's all yours," I announce and leave from the corner moving between bodies. I can't believe that all our high school is discussing our break-up. And if it was just that, I might have been able to deal with it. But hearing rumors that he got bored of me or I didn't reach his expectation in the sexual stuff is aggravating me. It's burning me to know what all the people think when the reality is that I was a pone to his plan. He used me and on top of all of that, I have to face the remarks and comments about my stupidity and image.

I fall in someone as I stride rapidly and furiously. The cold and empty air shifts into a light aroma that I know too well. A smell that used to relax me, put my nerves at rest, making my insides clench and my muscles stretch. I slowly glance up only to find ocean blue eyes staring down at me. I get lost for an instant while I notice the way his eyes aren't as sparkling as always. His eyes have dark circles under them and his features are changed by exhaustion.

I shut my lips and disconnect my eyes from his and try to move past him.

"Hey...what is going on?" I try to leave again without offering an explanation or meeting his eyes. "What happened?" My heart flutter at the fact that he knows me too well that I can't hide from him. He knows that something is wrong. Something my demon initially caused.

"Let me go," I say keeping my eyes away from his face. His hand titles my chin to look me in the eyes.

"What happened?"

"Let. me. go." I repeat uttering the words. I don't him touching me because I feel my body reacting and yearning for more. I don't want him gazing at me steadily as I feel my eyes missing the way they follow the blue ones move arund the room and, of course, the feeling when they stare back at my green ones. I don't want him cause I feel my whole being desiring all of him.

"Amelia, I know..."

"Corbyn!" A voice suddenly sounds from afar and I take the chance to run away from my demon.

My lungs fill with the clear air while I head towards my favorite place. I need the peace that all around me keep disturbing against my will. The sun warms my skin as I hear the sound of my footsteps touching the grass, moving against the earth. I breathe in and out of the air trying to create a pace in my breathing. I reduce my speed of moving and close my eyes in an attempt to calm down.

I stop with my eyes closed feeling the sun burn me, listening to the lullabies of the birds, and smell the air that is a mix of new-cut grass, flowers, trees. The magic of nature.

The footsteps of someone becoming louder make me frown and open my locked eyes seeking. I glance around but I see nothing moving until my eyes fall upon a boy. His eyes are locked in me and his blonde hair is glistening so gracefully. I recall the memory of our first fight when I first saw the way the sun was caressing my angel and elevating him from the human sphere towards heaven, reminding me that they left me a guardian angel. And I was fortunate enough to have him. Or so I thought.

My demon comes closer as I feel my breath quicking, my knees trembling and my throat lacking dryness.

"Are you following me?" I cry narrowing my eyes.

"What happened?" I roll my eyes.

"You have the nerve to follow me and demand an answer? Are you serious right now?"

He takes a few steps closer. "I'm not demanding, I'm just asking."

"Like you care," I spat. He leans his head to one side.

"I'm." I chuckle feeling the irony of my situation ridiculous.

I'm pathetic. I'm still in love with the demon that destroyed and took with him every bit of strength I had left to survive. I miss him despite the rage I feel towards him. I don't know how to act around him or what to feel, how I should feel. The whole school thinks I'm worthless and stupid for letting the demon go. Noah doesn't speak to his brother because of us. Jacob goes through his own phase and my aunt has lost it trying to keep up with everything. I'm ruined and I'm dragging the persons who were kind enough to take me in, with me. I'm a terrible person.

Tears fill my eyes and from the corner of my eye, I see him scowl. He noticed. I turn tugging my hair painfully attempting to distract myself.

"Are you okay?" His voice is elegant and soft but I don't need softness now.

"Okay?" I shout. "Am I okay? I'm pretty sure you arranged my well-being situation the moment I became your fake girlfriend."

"You were never my fake girlfriend. You're the only real thing I have in my life." His face is calm and his body is relaxed. His tone is smooth as if he's trying to speak to a child. And me, I'm burning on the inside. I feel the pain quitting the reins of me and handing them to my anger. I feel my heartbeat on my fingertips as my veins fill with adrenaline. His logical and contained behavior and composure are driving me insane. Because I'm going crazy because of him.

"Don't lie to me," I hiss. "Since the beginning, I have heard nothing but that, so do me the favor and start saying the truth! For once!"

"You want the truth? Fine," His eyes follow mine. "You're the first girl that I wanted so much, the first girl I felt all those emotions, the only girl that I care about. I care if you're okay, if you had a bad day and I want to hear all the shit you want to start murmuring about even when I don't give a fuck. You're the one I wanted to be with and I'm in love with so much that I've lost the sense of control. You have so much power over me that scares me. But I don't care. Do whatever you want because I'm not going anywhere."