Save Me

Chapter 52

His words fly to my heart and tear it open letting all the pain flow and form into warm tears that slip out of my eyes. His eyes are glued to mine; he seems to be in shock at my reaction, standing still, speechless, clueless about what to do, how to act, how to fix what he destroyed.

"I...I never wanted to hurt you. That was never my intention. I...I'm sorry,"

"I sorry too, Corbyn! I'm so sorry that you had to act like you love me, that you had into my life and break everything into pieces and had to stand my annoying and stupid self. I'm sorry you had to hurt me like that after what we've been together, after I've been through. I'm sorry if that was hard for you!" I exclaim and wipe the tears that keep coming down my cheeks.

My heart is thundering against my chest painfully. My body aches with tension and agony. My whole being is trembling as the truth is being washed over me, leaving me alone to deal with its coldness. I tug my hair painfully as the sobs move my body forcefully.

"You have got to believe me, I was-"

"Don't!" I spat. "I don't want to hear another lie."

"I have never lied to you. Everything I have said was true, about myself, about my family, I meant every word. I wanted you to know all there's to know,"

"You're a monster! How could you look me in the eyes when you knew that you were using me until you got what you wanted and then you would leave me worthless?"

"I would never do that! I have wanted you since the start. Nothing about that is fake. I fell for you hard. I just thought I could have you too,"

"Have me too? You risked all of this for a court about the parents you despise! You wanted more than what they wanted to inherit you and I'm paying the price!" I scream. My throat is killing me but the pain in my heart makes me forget it once my lips shut.

Heartbreak, I knew how much it hurts now. How much it hurts to be played, manipulated, used by the person you're in love with. The person who promised to love you, to stay by your side in the hard times. The one I chose to be with, to trust, to offer him my heart to. Only to have it thrown back at me in a million pieces.

"Did you feel sorry for me? Did you think because I was vulnerable that I would go over heels for you in time? Is that why you chose me?"

"No, it wasn't and you know it. Don't turn this into something that isn't."

"Are you kidding me Corbyn? I didn't turn this into something else than what this was from the start. A lie. A huge lie you created." I shut my eyes not being capable to see him for another second. I was new, I didn't know the playboy he was, how selfish and manipulative he truly was and before I would have time to realize it, he would have already taken what he wanted and have thrown me to garbage like I was nothing.

I put my trust in him. I embraced all his flaws and weakness, I forgave him for his mistakes. I chose to forget the way he treated me, shouted, humiliated me. I chose to and that's where it has gotten me. I gave myself to this demon. The realization hits me so achingly that I feel the air leaving my lugs. I feel the blood draining from my body and I pale. "Oh my God..." I gasp.

"Oh my God..." My eyes contact with his and he frowns. "If that night we...if I hadn't stopped you...we would have and I would..." My voice trails off as it cracks before I can finish my shattered thoughts.

"What? What is it?" His voice is painted with concern and that boils my anger. I glare up at the demon.

"I would have lost my virginity over someone who doesn't care about me! Oh my God..." I mutter as the picture of my mother telling me to fully give myself to a boy that I will love revisits me. I would have lost it.

Recognition dawns on his face before he speaks. "No, no...no...I would never do that to you. I would never use you that way, you know this."

"Know? I know nothing. You would have done it knowing that you're using me. That's who you are but I was so fooled to see it from the start."

"Amelia, please you can't think that I would that,"

"Why did you stop then? I was trying to stop you and you were fighting for it. Why did you?" He stays silent and I tug at my hair. He would have taken it from me but the guilt stopped him.

"I didn't want our first time to be like this. I wanted you to be sure." He murmurs. That night I remember feeling something holding me back. Even if I was deeply buried between his lies, I felt it. "I wanted you to wake up the next morning with no regret about what we would have done."

"No," I stammer. "I might have assumed that the guilt didn't let you but that would imply that you have consciousness and humanity. And you don't." Sadness clouds his features and his face goes blank.

"You're right," He whispers cutting the silence. "I was feeling the guilt because I love you. I didn't want to have our first time without you knowing. I wanted to tell you all the truth about my parents and the trial. This is why I opened up to you. I wanted you to know everything there's to me. I didn't want to hide anything. And I knew by the time you knew everything you would have felt ready. So, you would know."

"I wouldn't. You told me about your past and their divorce. You said nothing about money or your involvement. You revealed nothing about your sick plan. And that was the whole point."

I shake my head repeatedly. I can't believe that this my life now. We were nothing but a lie that is fading in the timeline, nothing but a distant memory that hurts to even be held in my consciousness.

"You are just like him," I hiss with venom falling from the words. Terror overtakes his face and his expression hardens.

"He tried to rape me and you...you tricked me into this lie making me believe that this was love but you are no different. At least, he got the guts to take what he wanted clearly instead of lurking behind fake commitments and deceptions like a coward."

"Don't say those words to me," The words are barely heard as they escape between his clenched teeth.

"You're worst than him!" I cry and I see his face twist. "You are..."

"I didn't trick you! I have loved you since the start. I can't believe you're comparing me to that bastard. He tried to rape you and I couldn't even make love to you when I knew you weren't ready! I wanted you to be happy, to have everything you craved. This might have started the wrong way but it did and there's no going back."

"Why did you save me that night?" His eyes shoot to mine but his lips don't move. "Why?"

"Did you expect me to see you fighting that asshole and did nothing?"

"No...because you had to play the hero when you're nothing but a demon."