Save Me

Chapter 64

"Why didn't you tell me any of this?" I whisper causing him to open his eyes.

"You wouldn't believe me,"

"Corbyn..."

"You wouldn't. I tried to tell you so many times but you didn't want to listen to anything I had to say. You were so angry and kept saying that all my words were lies. There's no way you could have believed me."

I don't say anything else; I know he is right. I wouldn't have heard anything yet alone believed him. I would have assumed he came up with that idea to feed me more lies to trap me again.

"Is there any chance you can forgive me?" I stare at him; his forehead still in mine.

"I-I don't know," I mutter closing my eyes again. "You hurt me, Corbyn. A lot," I try to fight the tears that nearly fall.

"I know baby, I know," I feel his lips kissing my cheeks making me shudder before he places a kiss in the corner of my lips. "I'm sorry,"

"I didn't want to live anymore," I admit and his arms cradle me. I hide my face in the crook of his neck; letting the tears meet my cheeks. Sobs escape my lips wiggling my body that is inside his tight embrace. Seconds, minutes pass as he lets me cry in his arms. Words don't leave his lips while his hands caress me; his lips kiss away the pain he created in me. My fingers have gripped his t-shirt bring him closer to me.

I lean up after a while so our eyes can meet. His hand rests a strand of my hair behind my ear.

"I don't think I can be with you," My whisper sends an alarmed look on his eyes that fills with terror. "I don't trust myself with you,"

"I don't either," He confesses. "Isn't that the point of falling in love?"

"I won't survive if you ever hurt me again," He takes a sharp breath.

"I won't," He mumbles.

"You don't know that." His lips part; blinking. He seems as though he's seized with panic. "I lost everything. I won't bear the same again." I state softly.

"And I won't bear not being with you. I didn't know how good it felt until you came. I was happier than I have ever been. I was more at peace than I could ever imagine. I know you felt the same way. You can't just give that all up."

"I didn't Corbyn," I say. "You did," His eyes widen with fear before he shuts them painfully.

"I-I can't trust you that you won't hurt me again." I struggle to find the right words as well as gather my scattered thoughts. I want to open up to him but all the words get mixed with the tears, my fears.

"Baby, I won't," He whispers and his hands caress my cheeks. "It broke me too. Can't you see how much I need you?"

"I need you too but I can't let you crush me again. It was too much Corbyn," Tears prick my eyes before they run down my cheeks. "I gotta go my own way,"

"Don't do this to me," He pleads with desperation evident in his voice and puts both of his hands on his head.

"What we had was...it was epic. I fell in love with you so passionately that I didn't stop for a second to think about the consequences." I bite my lips watching the fear crosses his face. "I know it's too hard to watch it all slowly fade away but we need to..."

"Don't," He begs. "Don't say it,"

"Let me say it," I murmur as my tears keep falling. I see his eyes glowing under the light. My own tears are too many that I can't see if he's crying too. "I need to do what's best for me. We might be together one day but at least for now...I need you to let me be," He shakes his head.

"What about us? What about everything we have been through? You can't just throw it away like that. You felt it too,"

"Corbyn..." I start but he takes my head in his hands stopping me.

"Not many couples have the chance to feel what we felt. They dream about it but few only live it. And baby, we're one of them. You can't tell you can move on this. I can't and you can't either,"

"I can't be with you like this either Corbyn," A sob leaves my lips. "Everything you did and said to me is ruined. I can't be sure you want me just for me anymore. The pain is too much,"

"I love you, Amelia," He says. "I chose you and I will choose you again over everyone and everything. I want to be with you because I'm so in love with you that I can't do otherwise."

"No...it shouldn't," I stop feeling the pain and vulnerability of his voice stab me in my chest. I feel like a huge weight is being placed in me; I bleed and ache. "I have been selfish too. I wanted you to heal me and you did. But we can't be together," He looks wildly around; as if he's looking for the solution for inspiration, for divine intervention that will save him.

"Don't leave me," He begs. "I can't lose you Amelia," My sorrow is being replaced by a prickling scalp and a creeping sense of doom.

"I know how much you love me," I whisper and he nods. I wrap my arms around him before cupping his cheeks; they are wet by tears. The blood drains from my face as I inhale sharply in shock. It feels too much to see him like this. The boy who was always so confident and angry is now crying before me; letting his guards down, exposing his weakness for me to see.

"But is over," My voice is so low that if we weren't tangled up together in each other's arms, he wouldn't have listened to my words. "It has to be,"

"Amelia, I don't..." I press my body closer to his; touching my forehead in his. I inhale the same air as he does. Sobs make me shudder while tears continue falling down. His arms cradle me with force crushing me to him. I hear the light sound of his tears. His breathing is shallow as the gushes of air are short.

"I love you so much,"

His words make my heart ache more. I hear it crackle under my rib, shattering in million little pieces. We have to let each other go. I have to free my angel or my demon. I have to.

----

P.S. Don't hate me, please :( I was reading your hopeful comments in the previous chapter and I knew you would end up hating me. Please, don't. It had to happen but let's just say that she might have made a call and the universe will find a way to show her that it was the wrong one. Please don't give up on the story, there're too many surprises coming.