Save Me

Chapter 48

My cries and sobs fill the pained silence. The darkness has surrounded the house and the ambient light of the street is the only source of faint light. Everything is covered in darkness portraying my pain and loneliness. I'm all alone. I have nobody. Everything I love and need seems to be taken away from me. Every person I get attached to disappears or leaves me alone to fight the demons. But they're outnumbered, more powerful, dauntless and ready to cut my skin to stretches. And me, I'm all alone, a small girl tangled up in a small ball. Her pain is bigger than herself, bigger than the one she can handle, bigger than the one she can fight. This time, I'm tired to fight. I just surrender to this force of darkness.

Corbyn hasn't left. He has sat down on the floor next to me but not so close to touch me. He hasn't said a word. I can't even hear his breathing while my cries and sobs fill all the house. He hasn't moved but sat there and heard me cry more than I have ever. Heard my gasps, sobs, sniffles and cries. I wasn't looking at him. I couldn't face the person that puts me to go through hell again. When I lost my parents, I promised that I'll survive. But this; this is a lot. I haven't really recovered from their loss yet. Last week I had a nightmare and saw them die before me all over again.

I glance slowly up and see my demon. The demon that was sent to destroy me, hurt me and cut me to the bone. He appeared like an angel into my life promising to save me from my demons and then, he became one of them himself.

The moonlight falls upon his face allowing me to see him. His head is leaned back and touches the wall. His arms are around his knees as he keeps them close to his body. His eyes are locked but as I blink to clear my eyes, I find something glowing. I blink multiple times and my lips part when I realize what's happening.

A small path of wetness falls from his eyes down his cheeks. My demon cries.

He doesn't move. His lips are shut and he keeps his eyes locked strongly. Maybe in an attempt to stop the tears but the tears can't be controlled. They control you.

I keep gazing at my demon and see the wetness becomes smaller, bigger. He's crying too. I thought he would be out of the house once he delivered the happy news. But here he's, crying and sitting next to a whining, small and weak girl. The girl he was sent to devastate and the better way was not by fighting but by loving.

I disconnect my gaze from his figure and rest my head in my knees. It hurts so much. It hurts as if thousands of needles enter your soft skin, as if a knife is being put to your heart as if I'm left to die alone, bleed to death.

"why?" My voice seems foreign even to me. It's soft, low. The pain has turned it into something I don't recognize. His eyes open and meet mine. I don't see his face clearly as his face falls to the darkness.

"I thought I could have both. I thought for once I would be lucky and have everything I loved with me. And that includes you," I shut my eyes as his words sink in. I'm not angry at him. The pain has overtaken anything and left me numb.

"I love you," He mutters again and I lean laying on the floor. His coldness matches my cold heart that tries to mend itself by shutting every emotion out. Everything and everyone I loved seems useless and worthless.

A giggle slips from my lips and I put my elbow and cover my eyes that free more watery hot tears. The giggle turns into laughter. A loud laughter that booms and cuts the air of stillness. I keep laughing on repeat as his last words keep playing on my aching head. It's not laughter of happiness is a burst of neurotic laughter full of pain. He slowly takes my hands off of me and sees tears run my cheeks at a high speed as the laughter reduces.

I sit up after a few moments before I stand up from the floor. My feet feel heavy and incapable to move me as if all my bones have been crashed into fragments, like my heart.

"Wait," I turn to face my demon and the light falls right on him while he stands. Tears cover his cheeks and I witness the bloodshot red eyes. And I know that they mirror mine.

"Corbyn..." I start to speak when I understand that I have nothing left to say to my demon.

"I know I hurt you," he starts and even though I want to run and interrupt him not wanting to hear the rest, I know I can't. I don't have it in me to fight him too. I don't have the power to run because he'll catch me. I can't fight back with words because I know he won't admit his lies, fake promises and secrets. I give up.

"But..." He continues as I gaze up at those blue blurry eyes with a blank expression. "I don't want this...I don't want this to end," he whispers. "I meant everything I said to you. I love you..." His words are left hanging between us but this time not even a small part of me can react.

"I know you need time..."

"Time?" I ask. "I don't want time, Corbyn. Whatever that was we had...it was fake, you made sure of it. I can't go back to how things were before this morning. You used me. Every single moment of us was doomed to end to this. All of it was based on a lie. There's nothing left,"

"No, you can't say that. It was real...all of it. You're right we might have never been together if it wasn't for the court of my parents but that doesn't mean anything to me."

"It does to me," I interrupt him. "You didn't want me for me, I was just the perfect candidate for your play,"

"It doesn't matter, we both saw how happy we can make each other and that's all I ever wanted. Amelia, I have never been so happy in my life,"

"We wouldn't have happened. Do you understand that? I would be nothing to you but Jacob's annoying cousin,"

"But you're...baby you're," He whispers and brings his hand to touch me but I step back. "You're everything to me,"

"Would you ever tell me the truth? That you were with me to make yourself look reliable to get more money in your parent's court? Would you?"

"No," He says after a few seconds. "Because it doesn't matter how this started as long as it did. I fell in love with you and lost control. I don't care how I got myself involved with you. I thank the heavens that I did because you're the best thing that has ever happened to me."

"No, no...I can't do this," I walk towards the stairs but he stops me.

"Don't do this,"

"Me? You broke me. You lied to me. You destroyed us. And now there's nothing to do but break-"

He pushes me back and my back hits the wall next to the staircase before I can complete my sentence. His eyes are charged with the emotion I know too well now. His eyes leave mine and stare at my lips. I put my hands in his chest to shove him away before any mistake is done. He grasps them tightly against him and hammers his lips in mine. I try to push him away but the more force I put; the force he applies in my lips. He locks my hands in a tight grip in one of his own above my head as his other hand snakes around my waist to bring me closer to him. Tears leave my lips as I feel that fire crackle inside of me burning my skin and making my pain disappear. I love the freedom I feel when that constant weight is being lifted from me but I feel trapped. I feel a prisoner of the demon who loved me and now wants me to love him back.

He breaks the kiss panting and I inhale the air he exhales.

"Let me go," I sob as the pain that revisits me again magnifies; I can't bear it. He throws his hands away the second I ask him to.

"We don't have to break up...just think about it. We'll take a break,"

A break and not a break up. It's funny how a small word of two letters can change things. Although I know I don't want a break, I want to separate from the demon who keeps draining my energy and fueling my pain.

Without having any traces of strength to fight, I walk to my room where I lay on the bed and cry all over again, feeling nothing but pain.