Save Me

Chapter 63

"I have been watching you. I knew you were hurting too but I didn't want to admit it to myself. I didn't want to feel empathy towards you. I couldn't. You were the reason I had lost everything I thought I won back. I didn't talk much, I lost my appetite, I couldn't sleep. And I knew you couldn't either. I had seen the black circles under your eyes, the exhaustion that was ripping you apart. I felt somehow responsible about it. That's why I suggest you sleep with me." I gaze at him as he nods. "I wanted to sleep and I wanted the same for you,"

"Why did you cry?"

"It..it was nothing," I mutter not wanting to confess the true reason behind my tears.

"Was it because of me?"

"Yes," He seems to bewilder by my immediate short reply. "We hadn't shared the same bed for a while and you being in my room brought all my memories of us back." His eyes are troubled, hurt. He seems more tired than before. Like the discussion is eating him up; draining his energy. I feel the guilt of hiding the main reason dawn on me and fixing my eyes on my hands; I get it out of my chest.

"You looked so peaceful and cool with us being together alone after so much time when I was so nervous, and I feared I didn't affect you anymore...maybe all this bored you and you didn't want me anymore, maybe you never did," I whisper feeling my cheeks heat up. I hear him move but I don't dare to meet his eyes. He towers over me before his fingers force my chin to raise. Our eyes contact.

"Are you kidding me? You were right next to me..." His voice trails off and I notice how his eyes darken. "And I couldn't touch you,"

He doesn't have to say anything else; I understand by the way his eyes are dark, full of desire and lust. His grip on me is tighter and I feel his fire explode inside me. My breath becomes heavier by the way he's staring at me; the way his body has leaned in mine. His eyes fall from my eyes and fix in my lips that part. I see him licking his lips and I gasp. The oxygen evaporates and I can't think about anything else. He leans further; I find my heart beating faster and faster as the distance reduces between us.

"Why did you tell her we haven't been close enough?" I whisper the moment as lips were about to touch. His eyes dart to mine; the tension disappearing completely from the atmosphere. He frowns and trouble messes his blue ocean eyes.

"What?" His voice is husky, heavier; the sensual tension changed him.

"Dakoda told me you admitted her that we hadn't had..." I leave the sentence unfinished. He locks his eyes and pulls back from me before he sits next to me on the stairs. "Is it true? You told her?"

He runs his fingers through his blonde hair and glancing at me from the side, he speaks.

"Yeah, I did."

"Why? She has a long history with you and you told her something so personal about us?"

"It just came out. I didn't tell her because I wanted to." He states and I sense the annoyance creeping into his voice.

"What is that supposed to mean? I haven't told anyone, how could you?"

"She was seeing how happy I was and she wanted to fucking ruin this." He snaps and anger flickers in his eyes. "She told me you were with me because..." He stops as if the thought still has the power to affect him negatively. He looks at me for a few seconds. "Because you wanted someone to make you forget. You only wanted me for the pleasure I was offering you. It got under my skin, I got so angry even at the possibility and told her we hadn't done anything. You were with me because you wanted me. That's the only reason she knows,"

"Does anyone else knows?"

"No," He says instantly. "I didn't want people to know anything."

"Why did you put the rule that nobody must know about us? You wanted them to know,"