Lights, Camera, Action ✔~ trixya

Chapter 23: Somebody Out There

Katya put the young girl down in a chair once she'd reached her dressing room. She could have taken the girl to her own dressing room, but she didn't want Robert coming around and disturbing her. That was another privilege Katya had because of her position; privacy.

She took a robe off the wall and placed it in the tired Trixie's lap, knowing she'd feel very exposed once she came back entirely. Gently she ran her fingers through the girl's curls, admiring how effortlessly beautiful Trixie was. Even with worn-off makeup and messy hair, she looked like a perfect life-size doll. Asleep she looked more innocent and fragile than how she usually looked, which touched a strange part inside the blue-eyed woman that she was scared to let her mind linger on. Katya didn't try to talk to Trixie, instead allowing the girl time to recover away from the busy nature of a film set. 

"K-Katya?" Trixie said finally, feeling drowsy as she started to put her robe on. Katya had already started to get changed, pulling a t-shirt over her head before turning her attention back to the doll.

"Hey, sleeping beauty, you doing okay?" Katya said, a slight cheekiness to her voice, but a caring look in her eyes.

"Yeah, just needed some time to recover, that.. it was intense." Trixie replied with a crooked smile.

"It wasn't too much tho? If I did anything-"

"Katya, it was good, really. You did nothing wrong, I enjoyed it." The brown-eyed girl said honestly. 

Katya tried not to show how relieved the statement made her. She was always careful not to hurt her scene partners, but the thought that she could somehow have hurt Trixie by pushing her sexual limits too far made Katya feel physically unwell. 

"Good, that's good. I did too, maybe a little too much." Katya said, her tone turning more suggestive towards the end of her statement.

"You kinky whore." The doll replied with a laugh.

"Says Miss I-Clearly-Love-Being-Manhandled." 

"Okay, you can fuck all the way off." Trixie told her in fake offence. 

"Hey, be nice, at least I saved you from being rushed off set whilst twenty people shout things at eachother." Katya replied, her tone and expression making it very clear that she in no way actually thought the other girl was being un-kind.

"Katya Zamolodchikova asking me to be nice? I must have really hit the lowest low." Trixie joked, causing Katya to laugh. "Seriously tho, thanks for carrying me in here. It was nice not to have to deal with everyone until I had landed a bit more." 

"No problem, you just looked pretty far gone, so I figured you'd want some space." Katya told her. 

There was a moment of silence, an awkwardness in the air as both girls fought to find the right words to say. Trixie twiddled her thumbs for a moment, opening her mouth at the very same moment as Katya started to speak.

"This was-"

"I should-"

"Sorry." Both girls said at the same time. Katya didn't start speaking again, knowing fully well that Trixie was a notorious interrupter and that she'd most likely want to go first.

"I was just gonna say that I should probably go get dressed." Trixie said. 

"Oh yeah, yeah I'm sure you'll wanna get home, and well, not stay in that robe for forever." 

Trixie nodded in response, tightening the robe around her form as she stood up from her chair.

"What were you going to say?" The honey-eyed doll asked. 

"Oh ehm, just that, this was nice, and well shooting today was nice. It's nice to hang with you without fighting all the time." Katya told her. She wasn't used to giving compliments like that, most of the time she steered away from sincerity and mushy shit, but for once it felt tempting to let her walls crumble down.

"Yeah, it was. Maybe we should try to keep it up, huh?" 

"Yeah, but then you'll be right about me not getting any more hate-sex, which I'm not sure my pussy can take." The blue eyed girl said jokingly.

"Well, like you said we could also just act nice until filming's done and then we can hate eachother again." Trixie joked back.

"I think I'd struggle to be that mad at you now tho, also I never really hated you to begin with." Katya told the doll, allowing herself another moment of sincerity.

"I don't think I could hate you again now. I'm starting to realize that you're not the person I thought you were, in a good way, and that person doesn't deserve to be hated." 

There was another silence, both girls considering the other's words, both feeling as if they were starting again, walking next to eachother on a new path rather than pushing eachother whilst racing to win. 

"Well, uhm, I'll see you later." Trixie said finally, heading towards the door.

"Yeah, have a safe trip home." Katya replied awkwardly.

"You too. Bye." The doll said with a small wave before leaving the room.

"Bye."

Katya wondered for a moment what it was like to be able to call someone like Trixie Mattel yours. 

What was it like to live as the most important part of her universe?

What was it like to laugh uncontrollably next to her for hours?

What was it like to hold her through the night?

Of course, Katya knew that it was not a role that she herself could ever fill.

Trixie deserved better than her.

Trixie deserved somebody who'd hold her for hours, someone who'd listen to her every word, someone who'd know what to say when she felt helpless or lost. Katya knew there was somebody out there who'd fill that role perfectly, someone who was looking for someone like Trixie, and that somebody wouldn't be her. It couldn't be her. 

And yet that fact hurt. 

Why did it hurt?

Why was that thought becoming so painful?