She (THEY 1/3) completed

Chapter 3

We all were going to Luke's room, who he shared with Taller, to hang out. It was day off to everyone, teachers weren't here, they didn't watch us as strict, and we did almost everything we could.

Except the pranking. Pranking was usually in the next day, since today all teacher weren't even here. We got into their room, and sat in circle.

-"Simone, what do the principal waned from you?" They looked at me, waiting for an answer.

-"I met with foster family." Silence.

-"That's great! You're gonna finally get out of here! You were the longest here, you deserve it." Taller said, while everyone else looked at me in silence.

-"That's not great! I don't even know if they'll take me. I don't wanna leave you guys." I hide my face in my hands, not wanting to see their expressions.

-"You deserve to get out of here, Simone, towards you they were always the meanest." Luke said.

-"And we can keep contact, you know, if you want to." Hanna said, this time focusing on me.

Damien pulled my hands away from my face. -"Simone, you're amazing! We'll keep contact then, when we'll finally got out, we'll meet, okay?"

He shakes me harder than before while I looked at him, trying to figure him out.

-"Okay. Promise me you won't be mad at me for going away. I'll do everything to search you all, okay?" I asked, not being sure about their answer.

They all smiled. -"Okay, okay. We're not mad, we want you to be happy, and anyway we'll meet when we all get out."

I let one tear slip and Brian swiped it off. I sadly smiled at them, wanting so badly to stay, wishing the family changed their minds about teenager adoption, in the same time wanting to get away from this place, and never come back.

-"Enough with the sad mood, let's do something fun!" Damien couldn't stand sadness. He always did everything to make us smile and be happy. Rare thing in this house.

But that's what made him him, and we loved him for that.

We all started talking about fun things, and telling jokes, just to avoid sadness, just like we always did. We were already so used to being sad, that laughing was a good change, even when I didn't felt like.

At least, I do have a friends, who would do everything for me, just like I would do for them. Everything.

I adjusted my hoodie sleeves feeling overwhelmed.

-"Guys!" I said, as I got up. -"I'm gonna go to bathroom. Don't do anything stupid without me!" I walked trough the doors, leaving them all laughing.

I avoided everybody else in this house and made my way to the top floor, searching for a window that will take me to the roof. Only few kids in here knew about it, including only Taller from our group. With him I was the closest, because he knew I only go to the roof when I feel extremely sad and empty.

This was like always, whenever I got happy for a moment, I knew that there will happen something bad. So I couldn't fully enjoy the moments with laughter, because I was really, really afraid of what might happen.

I know, this is pathetic, but it's me. As much as I tried to make it better, I failed. And after that I just assumed I'll fail every time, and didn't even try again. I couldn't find the courage to do something about it.

I was standing on the roof watching everything below, when I noticed that Hanna somehow got on the roof too. It wasn't really hard to get up here, it's just that not lot of people knew it. And I had no idea how she could knew this place.

She ran up to me and hugged me. I froze up, because I hated being touched, and she noticed that. She pulled away, and smiled at me.

-"You were the best friend ever. I know I'm annoying and all, but you could stand it and I'm thankful for you. But I can't do this anymore. Go, and live your life happy, you deserve it, Sim. You are so strong, that you could stand every storm who ever comes. You were my hero, Sim, and I won't forget you. But please, forget about me, and don't cry when I'm gone, okay?"

I was completely taken aback by her speech. She was usually the one who needed attention just to play, not be serious.

-"Why wouldn't I cry when you'll be gone?! You are my best friend ever, Hann." I said, trying to ignore my tears now. I wasn't sure about why I was crying, maybe it was my guts telling me something will go wrong.

That something bad will happen, and that I can't be happy, because, sooner or later, all the bad things will sum up and kill me.

She hugged me once more, still doing it when I didn't hugged her back, whispering. -"I'm sorry. I'm so so so sorry, but you're worth so much more than you're going trough."

She looked me in the eyes, and I let out a small sad smile. -"Why do i feel like you're trying to say goodbye?"

She smiled back with tears in her eyes. -"Because I am." Then she started to run to edge. It taked me a moment before I realized what she meant.

I started running after her as soon as I realized that. But she was too fast, and too far away.

-"Hanna no! Stop! Please don't do it! You're my best friend, I don't know what I will do without-" She jumped of the roof, and it was too late, it's too late for me to do something.

The roof was five floors, there's no way she would be alive. Why can't my powers keep her in the air, or turn back time, or change thoughts? Why can't I save her?

I fell on my knees on the edge, with tears blurring my vision. I felt tears running down my skin, making everything wet, and won't stopping, and it was killing me inside.

But deep, deep down, I knew. I knew this would happen, I knew I can't be happy, I knew I didn't deserve friends, I knew all of it. But most importantly, what hurt me the most was that I wasn't worth the truth. She didn't tell me anything about her struggles, and knowing that killed me.

I don't even know why I still got friends. Sure they all will now hate me, because I didn't stop her from jumping.

Whats wrong with me?

————-
☠️🤡