Falling Up (A Larry Stylinson FanFic)

Chapter 6

Authors Note: Oh my gosh! I can't believe this story got to 200 reads! I just realized I'm already on chapter six so its probably time to bump up the romance in this thing ;)  

Louis was still sleeping when Harry woke up. Harry curled up closer to Lou- he was always so much warmer than Harry was- and nestled into his shoulder, lifting up a bit to kiss Louis on the cheek. Harry loved how it felt to kiss Lou's cheeks, they felt so soft and cushy. Lou's whole body was soft and comfy and Harry was jealous- he could see Louis wince sometimes when Harry was trying to cuddle and elbowed Lou or bumped his shoulder into him. He was just too angular. 

Harry got up out of bed slowly so he wouldn't wake Lou, and walked toward the full length mirror. that was hanging by the closet. He looked at his hipbones and the weird angles they made, he looked at how tired his eyes were, and he looked back at Lou in bed, tangled in the sheets, soft and warm and healthy. Harry bit on his lip until he could taste blood and he sat down on the floor, leaning against the bed.

God God he was jealous of Lou.

Harry wished he could have the same glow that his friend did, wished that he could be as comfy to snuggle with, wished that he couls just eat with the guys without Liam giving him worried looks and Zayn offering him second helpings and Niall looking guilty when he accidentally mentioned how hungry he was and without Lou's fucking meal plan. He felt like such a child- he couldn't even feed himself. Lou started turning in bed, and Harry held himself together tight in a ball. 

He'd had another dream about Louis last night. 

Harry took a deep breath and shut his eyes, trying to keep himself from feeling sick. 

When Harry first met Louis, he'd developed the world's biggest crush within seconds... the way you only ever did with young love. For weeks Harry shyly followed the older boy around, curious and trying to get to know him more. Every time they were in the same room, Harry had a feeling in his chest like you would get if you were in an elevator and it suddenly dropped ten floors. 

It had been years since then though. And Harry knew as soon as they became a band that for things to work best for everyone, he needed to put the feelings away. And he had. 

Almost. 

But mornings like this- with Lou in his bed, his chest gently rising and falling and the sunlight softly pooling through the window... Harry was sixteen all over again. He felt that same feeling in his chest, but this time with more of an ache to it. He hadn't been enough for Lou back then, and what was different now? He used to be just an awkward shy kid with a crush on this older, amazing, talented boy... and now? Now he felt embarrased for even thinking of Lou in that way, when Harry was just as awkward, just as shy, but now also enough of a mess to land himself into the emergency room. Lou was obviously just taking care of Harry because that's the role he promised to take on when Harry was in the hospital... it could have easily been Niall or Zayn or Liam. And all the cuddling and falling asleep together was probably just pity. 

Harry looked in the mirror again. He would pity himself too if he were Lou. It didn't seem to matter how much he lost, there was just still too much of him. He was sick of Lou's pity. Harry rocked back and forth a little, biting his nails. 

Lou woke up, and sat down on the floor next to Harry, a blanket still wrapped around his shoulders. "What's wrong, Haz?" he asked, trying to get Harry to look him in the eyes. "Do you want to talk about it, Boo? I'm right here... you'll be okay."

Harry took deep breaths, not wanting to look at Louis. He was too embarrassed from the dream he'd had. Louis could never think of him like that, not when Harry was this, this sick. "Leave me the fuck alone," Harry muttered, walking out of the room, rushing to leave fast enough that Louis was still standing in shock at the doorway, wrapped in a blanket and with no idea where Harry was headed.