The Space Between a Rock and a Hard Place- 5SOS

Chapter Eight

Amnesia- 5 Seconds Of Summer

Calum Hood:

"Thirty minutes until showtime, boys" the stage manager informs us, popping in our shared dressing room.

I had on a short sleeve Nirvana shirt today, and my tattoos were very exposed, unlike last time. We were at an outdoor venue today, and it was likely to be warmer on stage at the beginning of July especially under all the lights. Luke and Mike were wearing tanktops, and Ash wearing another band's shirt like I was.

It was the normal pre-concert chaos, all of us boys joking around... if we weren't the band, I guarantee we would've been kicked out of the venue by now. The room was a mess, with food, assorted half-finished water bottles, and random items of clothing everywhere.

It's weird how time can go so slow as we wait backstage, but then all of the sudden, it's time to perform. We grab our guitars and Ash his sticks, and we head out of the building and towards the stage.

The crowd is huge. We can hear them as we approach, and they get louder and louder and we get closer and time progresses as well.

"Ready boys?" Ash asks as we stand right out of view, about to make our appearance.

"HELL YEAHHHHH" Michael screams, Luke just nodding. I switch out my arms holding my bass and shake them out, getting hit with the pre-show intensity.

Then we step on the stage. The lights are dim, but the crowd goes crazy just from our silhouettes. Mike begins to play softly, and we warm up the crowd, Ashton, Luke, and I all joining in. Here we go... the song picks up and we begin playing '18,' the first song in the set. The screams amplify again.

The wave of energy hits us out of nowhere like it always does and we let go. Ashton yells between verses, sending the crowd into a frenzy, and Michael keeps up the high.

We reach 'Disconnected' and my mind briefly drifts away to other places, but I snap out of it and focus on the performance again. But when we hit 'Amnesia,' it all went downhill. Because I'm not fine. Luke led the chorus, and I was struggling just to choke out the lyrics next to him.

My eyes were tearing up, I can't do it. I took a step back and let the rest of the boys finish it out, "I wish that I could wake up with amnesia, and forget about the stupid little things... Like the way it felt to fall asleep next to you, and the memories I never can escape, 'Cause I'm not fine at all,"

I couldn't get it out of my head, that night I held her as she fell asleep, my eyes too mesmerized by her to even look at the clear night sky full of stars above me.

It was my turn to sing. Shit. I realize too late as the boys continued to play, and I'm coming back to reality halfway through my verse, "...asking why I'm not around... It hurts to know you're happy, yeah, it hurts that you moved on, it's hard to hear your name when I haven't seen you in so long,"

I keep singing, looking over towards Luke and Michael, obviously concerned. I screwed up.

But the show still goes on. I spend the next few songs embarrassed and in agony, trying to regain myself.

I start 'Everything I Didn't Say.'

"Oh, this is everything I didn't say..."

C'mon Calum, you can make it through this. It won't be that long.

I make it through the first verse, she's on my mind. Shit, shit, shit, no not again.

We go through the chorus, I'm starting to shut down... but we keep going.

Pull yourself together, man.

I'm trailing off at the ends of phrases, but I guess I still technically made it through.