The Space Between a Rock and a Hard Place- 5SOS

Chapter Twenty-Two

Uncomfortable- Wallows (song from cal's perspective)

Aviana Ross-

I guess I missed him. These four boys have become my best friends, and it's just not the same without one of them. Calum, it's just so hard to keep things the exact same when I know you feel differently now. I just can't be comfortable around you when I know you want more.

Especially now, that I'm back together with Ashton. Everything is a massive secret and I don't know how much longer I can take it. There isn't a single person I can talk to and I hardly know anyone here in LA besides the four boys who would be the worst possible option. One misstep from me or Ashton and it all goes to absolute chaos.

I pick up my phone to check the notification I received. It's tour photos posted on Luke's Twitter. Mike is making faces, Luke is cheesing for the camera, and then there's Ashton and Calum, arms around each other, screwing around like the boys they are, and having no idea of the other's feelings. This sucks, I can't do this.

Screw it, I mumble as I dial Luke's number. It rings a few times before he finally picks up.

"Hey Av, what's up?"

"Honestly, not much, but I just really need to talk to someone. Could I come over- or you could come here? I just need to get some stuff out of my head," I get straight to the point.

"Yeah, go ahead and come over. I'm not doing too much right now, but I'm headed to Mike's later tonight. I bet you could come with if you want,"

"Thanks, I'll see you soon,"

I sigh as I hang up and slip on my shoes. This is definitely a terrible decision but... too late now.

I didn't really have a single cohesive thought about what I actually wanted to tell him, but I was already on my way. Do I tell him about Ashton? Or just what happened between me and Calum? Could I betray both of their trust talking to Luke about this? Yes, quite possibly.

Even with the air conditioning on full blast, my hands were sweating against the steering wheel as I made my way closer to Luke's place. He lived in a simple townhome right outside the city. Nicer than my place of course, but it was a small, lightly furnished home. I guess you can't expect these guys to put much effort into decorating.

As I pull in, I realize how hungry I am. I guess I haven't eaten yet today since I've been so stressed out with everything. I get out of the vehicle, and lock it behind me, walking up to Luke's unique blue door.

I knock, and he is quick to open it, letting me inside. I wipe my sweaty palms on my jeans, as we say our greetings, my anxious smile pasted on my face.

"I don't wanna like, get straight to the point, but are you okay?" Luke asks, "I know we haven't seen each other much since tour ended, it's been crazy,"

"I'm... fine. I really just need someone to talk to, living alone and away from my family, and well, yeah," I choke out, still conflicted with what exactly I was going to tell him.

"Don't worry, Aviana, I get it," he reassures me.

"Well, I kinda have a boyfriend now. But you can't tell anybody, it's just really on the down-low, and I wasn't supposed to tell anyone. And I can't really talk to him about this so I guess I thought I could talk to you..."

"Wait, is it Cal?"

"No! I mean, no, it's not him, but that's kinda why I need to talk to you though," I corrected him, "but Calum and I have always been really close, and I only see him as a friend. And he wants something more, and then we hung out the other night, but I think I'm leading him on and I don't want to hurt him,"

"Oh, well, I'm not really sure what to do," Luke responds after I finish my monologue.

"I know, I just needed to tell someone. I have all this trapped inside of me and it's killing me," I say, my hands frantically trying to express what I can't put into words, "I don't know what to do, too, and I wasn't expecting you to have the answers either..."

"Uhm, congrats on your relationship though? I don't know what to say," Luke says, unsure.

"Oh, it's really not a big deal, I'm just really torn right now on what to do," I dip my head hiding my various facial expressions from him on this very dangerous topic.

"How did you guys meet, can I ask that?" Luke prods.

"It's all kind of a secret still, I don't really know what I can say, and I should get going, I'm pretty hungry," I answer, trying to dodge the questions as best as I can. This really might have been a huge mistake.

"You wanna go get food with me before Mike's?"

"Oh, thanks but I should get home," I blatantly lie, I definitely have nothing to do.

"Okay, Av, please let me know if you need anything, I'll be here," he says, giving me a sympathetic smile as we make our way back towards the door.

"Thanks, Luke," I give him the same sort of smile back and a bit of a side hug before walking out the opened door.

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What's miss girl aviana gonna dooooooo... thanks to anyone still reading after I disappeared for months OOPS :)