Badboy and the emo reunite (BXB)

Chapter 19

The next day I went to my bio dad's best friend, Tom, who I met again at a bar a couple of months back. We reconnected. He recognized me immediately, saying I looked exactly like my father, and even showed me pictures of me on his motorcycle, he and my dad by my sides, he said my mom took the photo. He said he was a hairdresser, he always did Dad's hair so it made sense. So I said I'd keep in touch. I sat down, hungover and all, and got some help with my hair. I told him to "have at it, just make it shorter and a different color". He did exactly that. He decided to give me a fade, then bleach it and make my hair look like it went from brown at the bottom to blonde at the top. I look like a different person, but there needs to be more done. I'm going to move too. No one is going to be following me back to my family. I'll cover my hair when I'm at work, and I'll uncover it in public.

He didn't ask why I needed this sudden haircut, but he did ask how I'd been. It's been probably 7 months since I've seen him. I tell him that he and I just need to get together soon, with beers and a talk. He agreed. He looked hurt while shaving away at my heart, suddenly talking about how he missed my father. I wonder if he had a crush on my father, it would be possible my father had a little queer to him, as I ended up the way I am. I was looking forward to getting drinks, and learning more about my father.

I moved in with Aiden, it was quick and sudden, but I was happy to get away and protect my family as much as possible. Cam helped me hide in the city, Cam and I stayed at hotels together while he was staying in the city with his brother. It was every once in a while, only when his brother was relapsing or going through withdrawal. I can't leave this kid, he feels alone, said he felt I was the only one who really knew him and was there for him. After, I helped him get a real job, it worked out fine with the help of Ethan. He would soon be able to help his brother get into a treatment facility to get sober.

Chance is onto me more. He and I have grown more distant, and I think he feels a lot of anger towards me. I can't blame him. I'm keeping more secrets, I'm always gone, I'm always snappy and moody, I'm a mess right now.

My uncle entered the picture and I flipped everything... I could've kept some things the same, tried to stitch my life back together again but it's too late for that now. All I can do is keep moving forward. So I'm working more, taking my lessons, and going to therapy, and I might be on the down low for a little, but I have to keep moving. It's already been almost half a year, maybe I've even hit the half-year mark and I didn't catch it. I hope he's still waiting and safe.

Shane, the boy who saved my life, the boy I'm still in love with, changed me.

I call up John, asking him to set me up with his tattoo artist. I'm old enough to not need parental consent, and I have the money, let's do it. Right arm, 2 solid black lines. Mom. My left arm, has 2 solid black lines. Dad. My next will be in 2 weeks, a bold S that I'm going to design.

No, it's not a couple tattoo, not his name or face, I'm not stupid. He saved my life, whether we get back together or not I'm still getting the S for my saved life. One of my better decisions.

Bullet is my new street name. I'm fast, and I'm a great shot, it does fit me. No one on the team knows this yet, Big B and I are being very cautious about this. I'm always watching my back, I'm always changing my clothing styles and where I stay for a night. If it's a hotel I don't answer room service, and if I go I always mask up and keep my holster on me. That's another thing, I always have some sort of weapon on me, just in case. I'm more paranoid nowadays.

I've been trying to keep up with therapy, and I've been meditating actually, I'm really trying to help myself mentally. I've also been doing driving lessons, I was serious about driving away from this ruckus, but now it's with or without Shane if he decides to get back together. I don't give Sammy and Gill much update, only when they reach out and ask, and when I do respond it's always vague and bland.

Do I feel bad for all of this going on? Sorta. I'm losing my family and friends because of it. I just wanted a normal life, but I understand. If I were my family and friends, and I didn't know what was going on with me, I would have that same anger. I just hope after explaining they can understand and we can rebuild.

I wonder if Shane waiting? Is he mad? Is he keeping himself happy? Should I go back to him? I don't know when I'll be safe enough for him, will I ever be safe to be around?

I gotta be, I will be one day. I'm trying so hard, I really am. I just want my family and my Emo back. I'm starting to sound like a broken record Huh?

He has every right to be pissed. I put him through a lot. Not only was our first meeting me almost dying, but the second was me fighting.