Renverser | Overthrow | SKAM

Fredag - Dynamite

"Disconnected from the world again
No, the sun don't shine in the place I've been
So why you keep acting like I don't exist?
Yeah, feel like I'm ready to die, but I can't commit
So I ask myself, when will I learn?
I'd set myself on fire to feel the burn
I'm scared that I'm never gonna be repaired

Put me out of my misery
My mind feels like an archenemy
Can't look me in the eyes
I don't know what hurts the most
Holding on or letting go
Reliving my memories
And they're killing me one by one."

Uni stresses Even, most of the time.
He's having fun, too, no question.
But most of the time, he comes back home completely exhausted and more than ready to crawl into bed or head over to Eliott's for a warm hug, kisses, and snuggles.

Today, things lead up to the latter again.
Eliott asks Even if they can hang out at Even's today, to which Even agrees with a nod.
It's a bit cold outside, but the sun's out and the sky is almost completely clear.
The blue looks almost as beautiful as Eliott's dark blue jacket, which looks quite stylish on him.

"Man, they really did bombard us with stacks of essays today, non?", Eliott says as they sit in the tram.
Even nods, he's sitting across from his boyfriend, his long legs cramped in the space between them.
"Yeah, and it fucking sucked. I mean, they bombard us with stuff all the time, but today really took the damn crown", the blond-haired man comments as he scrolls down his playlist, looking for new music to listen to.

Luckily the tram ride ends quickly and Even can finally stretch his legs.
Spring has rolled around, luckily it's not annoyingly cold outside anymore and the trees begin to look less dead.
The weather is nice and Even can't wait to spend the entire weekend with his boyfriend.
As he holds Eliott's hand and they walk down the street, Even truly feels like life is sweet.

Once they're in the apartment, though, Eliott immediately takes his jacket and shirt off.
"Damn, your place is an oven", he lets out, walking over to the two large dining room windows.
He opens them and breathes in the fresh air, and Even can't help but smile.
"Why can't I have this whenever we're coming back home?", he asks with a smirk as he hugs Eliott, winding his long arms around his lover's waist.
"I mean, you could if you asked", Eliott replies with a cheeky grin as he leans back to kiss Even. Home, that's it. Even is his home.
They stand like that for a while, enjoying the fresh air and the presence of each other.
Then, Eliott breaks the silence with a whiny "I'm hungry", and they get to cooking dinner.

Eliott chops up vegetables for a salad since they're not in the mood for eating anything too warm or too hearty.
Even gives Eliott one of his shirts, since Eliott's one isn't ideal for the current temperatures.
During dinner, they talk about their plans for the semester break.
"I'd love to go swimming with you somewhere", Even says, taking a sip of his glass of orange juice.
"That sounds excellent, I'd love to go swimming with you, too. You know, get our minds off of things. Maybe we could ask our friends where they're going, hang out with them for about a week, and then we tap out and do our own thing", Eliott suggests.
"Great idea. But maybe we could hang out with them for a few days, 'cause I want you all to myself actually", Even says, "We can always go back, though, they're not going anywhere."

Later, as the evening rolls around and they're sitting on the couch in Even's room, Eliott catches himself feeling overwhelmed by his emotions. Eliott doesn't know why he's crying, all he knows is that he can't hide away in the neckline of Even's shirt any longer.
He leans away from Even for a bit, until he's wiped his tears away, then he turns back.
"Eli, hey", Even says softly, "Eli, what's wrong? Hey, I'm here."
Even cradles Eliott's head, holding him close as the other man cries softly into the fabric of his shirt.
"Whatever is going on, I'm here. I'll be here today, tomorrow and the day after that", Even says quietly, pressing kisses to the crown of Eliott's head.
The other sniffles quietly, occasionally stopping to catch his breath.

A few minutes and loads of back rubs later, Eliott stops crying.
He rakes a hand through his hair as he sits up again, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand.
"Do you feel better? Did crying help or did it make things worse?", Even asks as he looks into Eliott's watery eyes.
"I'm feeling a bit better now", Eliott responds, leaning in to give Even a quick kiss. "I don't even know what made me cry anymore, I'm just feeling kind of tearful today."
Even kisses Eliott on the cheek. "That's totally fine, baby. I'm glad that I was able to offer you some kind of support while you were feeling what you were feeling", he says and Eliott smiles a bit.

Eliott tosses and turns in Even's bed, seemingly unable to get his thoughts to quiet down.
He turns to his side, nuzzling his face into Even's shoulder blades as he spoons him.
Hoping that his thoughts will stop spinning.
Even doesn't fully wake up, he puts his hand on Eliott's, gently squeezing it.
"I'm here, baby", he mumbles, voice laced with sleepiness.
And that's all the reassurance that Eliott needs to finally close his eyes and drift off to sleep.

During his teenage years, it would've taken a few reassuring words from his mother or crying to fall asleep.
Now he only needs to know that he's loved, that Even is here and won't leave him.
Trust, the key element that he's been yearning for.
Luckily, Even offers him exactly that and so, so much more.

And he mumbles to the moon that he hopes that he is exactly that for Even as well.
Someone that offers comfort, trust, and safety.
Together, they'd be okay. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow or next week.
But they'd get there one day, both of them.

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[Word count: 1070 words]

Boy howdy, this chapter took so long, usually, this chapter would've ended way sooner but then it wouldn't have made sense anymore.
The lyrics at the top are from the song "1x1" by Bring Me The Horizon.