THE PASSAGE

Nursing Toby

Chapter 37

"Solstice, for crying out loud. Do you see what I have had to put up with, Toby? Do you see how rude and obnoxious she is?" I couldn't believe she told Toby that he could have my milk for dessert.

"I don't know what to think about her, but I kind of like her," says Toby.

Cain has been up for a few minutes, so I clutch the blanket around my shoulders, then go pick him up and begin nursing him on Solstices' bed. Toby observes me out the corner of his eye as he sits on the bed with his back against the wall and picks at his sardines. For some reason, most of the uneasiness about doing this has left me. I'm not even shy about doing this in front of Toby at the moment. I can just imagine the thoughts that must be going through his mind right now.

Solstice says, "Toby, you did well. I'm happy to see that you can eat on your own. Now, do you see what Jamie is doing over there for Cain? That is what saved your life," she says, speaking in a professional voice now. "Your wounds are still healing, and I don't want that infection coming back. So, I want Jamie to continue doing that for you twice a day until I tell you that you no longer need it. Do you have any questions?"

"Um ... no. None at all. I think I can manage that."

Solstice grins at me with that beautiful smile of hers. I smile back, being just a little embarrassed now that I will be providing for Toby in that manner for the first time with him being fully coherent.

"Toby, we have a species of little deer that live here. I am going to go hunting for one today because we are out of food. I've never been hunting before. Do you have any advice for me?"

"Um, I should go with you."

"No," says Solstice. "You're not doing that. Jamie can handle it. You're going to stay in bed for the next few days."

Toby stares at her for a few moments, seemingly irritated with her at first. Then he smiles. "Well, I suppose you're right."

Toby looks at me. "Try to stay downwind from them so they don't smell you."

"Smell me," I say, smelling myself. "Are you saying I stink?"

Toby starts laughing, but I see that the laughter is causing him pain in his chest.

"Oh, please don't make me laugh. It hurts. I'm saying that deer have a very keen sense of smell. Find a good spot to sit and wait, preferably downwind. Keep very still. And try to make the shot before they get too close to pick up on your scent."

After I finish taking care of Cain, I walk over to Toby, and we stare at one another for a few moments.

"Toby, I ... I hope you're not too disgusted by having to do this. But Solstice is right, you've made a near-miraculous recovery, and we can only attribute it to this, what I've been doing for you. I suppose it's because of the wolf, a gift of sorts from him to me, and now I've passed it on to you."

"I remember bits and pieces from the previous days," he says. "I thought I was dreaming. Or maybe I thought I had died and went to heaven."

Solstice and I look at each other and burst out laughing.

He says, "You know, now that I think about it, I even remember the taste of it."

"Can you stand it?" I ask.

"What, the taste? Yes. It reminds me of egg-nog."

I laugh, covering my face in embarrassment, and then I have to explain to Solstice what egg-nog is while Toby takes a couple of sips of water.

Solstice says, "Would you two like me to wait outside?"

"Um, no, Solstice, it's still too cold for you to be outside," I say. "Besides, here, we're like family, right?"

She nods. "Right."

I turn my attention to Toby, then run my hand across his cheek. "I almost lost you. I was so scared."

He grabs my hand, then reaches his other hand for Solstice. "Thank you both. You're my angels, my guardian angels."

I smile at him, my heart warm inside, then lean down and kiss his forehead. Solstice pats him on the shoulder, then, to my surprise, leans down and tenderly kisses him on the cheek. "How does it feel being kissed by two angels?" she asks.

He looks between us. "Like heaven."

Solstice pats me on the back and then leans in to whisper in my ear. "Remember, it's okay to enjoy it." She pats me on the back again before walking over to her bed.

I look at Toby. "Are you ready?"

He nods, and I drop the blanket and then straddle his lap, my head resting against the wall, my arms around his shoulders. I'm thankful that the cabin is dark enough to give us some privacy, but it's not enough privacy to mask the low moans that manage to escape my lips. After a few moments, I realize just how tightly I have his head squeezed to my chest. I release my grip and begin to rub his head, trying to focus on other things instead, hunting this morning, cooking, gathering firewood, oh—oh my.

I pull away from Toby and climb off of him when I feel that I'm on the verge of erupting and can't take it any longer. I kiss him on the forehead, then get dressed and ready to go hunting. I put the knife and hatchet in the backpack, along with a bottle of water, beef jerky, and purple fruit, then check the rifle and set it by the door. Toby coaches me some on how to field-dress a deer, and the thought of it makes me a little nauseous, quickly wiping away the other emotions I had moments ago. Next time I nurse Toby, maybe I should think of field dressing a deer.

"Jamie, if you get a deer, I'll help you with it. Come and get me," says Solstice.

"But who will watch Cain?"

She glances towards Toby. "Toby will."

"Toby, do you think you can handle that?"

"I think so. Let me hold him and see if he likes me."

Solstice brings Cain to Toby and lays him in his arms. I observe them for a few minutes as Toby and Cain get acquainted. It seems that Cain has no objection to Toby holding him, and Toby can't seem to pull his eyes away from him.

Solstice says, "I will try to keep Cain awake for a while. That way, he should be sleepy later and shouldn't give Toby any trouble."

I nod, then bend down and kiss Cain and pat Solstice on the shoulder. I peep out of the door and notice dawn now breaking through the darkness. I put on Pop's long sleeve shirt, then slip the backpack on my shoulders and grab the rifle. Solstice tosses me a blanket as I am heading out the door.