THE PASSAGE

The Day After

Chapter 4

The next morning, I'm awakened by a pounding at the door. I squint my eyes and rub my forehead, feeling a terrible headache. I roll over, look at the alarm clock, and see that it is 10:15 a.m.

Oh my god. It's Wednesday morning, and I didn't show up for work. I manage to crawl out of bed and find my housecoat. Then I stumble to the door as the pounding continues. Looking through the peephole, I see Mom on the other side. I fumble with the locks and finally manage to get the door open.

"Oh, Jamie, I was so worried about you. Your phone goes straight to voice mail, and you didn't show up for work this morning." Mother walks in and looks around my living room. I follow her gaze and imagine the things going through her mind. Beer bottles are everywhere, and pizza crust litters the floor. I am glad all evidence of that joint is gone.

"Oh, honey, this place is a mess. Why don't you go and take a shower? I'll clean up a bit and make us breakfast."

"Okay, Mom, thanks for coming to check on me." Mom is already busy cleaning up the place as I stumble to the bathroom. I wish she wouldn't have had to see this mess, but it's too late now. Those six beers last night were the most alcohol I have consumed since the last time I went to B66.

After a long hot shower, I am feeling much better. I open the bathroom door and smell bacon and eggs coming from the kitchen. Even after all the pizza that I had last night, I am hungry this morning. Maybe it's because it's closer to lunch than breakfast.

I walk into the kitchen and see Mom hovering over the stove, a spatula in one hand and a plate in the other. After she serves our food and we fix our coffee, we sit at my small dining table. Mom proceeds again to question my hasty actions about calling off the wedding. I rest my elbows on the table and lay my head in my hands while Mom tells me of all the grief Mrs. Ringwood has been giving her.

"Mom, listen to me. I just realized that I could never feel the type of love for Adam that a wife should feel for her husband, and it's not right for me to pretend. Besides, how long could I keep pretending? I never meant to accept his proposal. I wish I had said no when he asked. I thought I could marry him and be happy, but yesterday, I finally realized that I couldn't. And then, to top it off, there is Mrs. Ringwood. I would be marrying her, as well. When she told me yesterday that she and Adam found us an apartment within walking distance of hers, I just lost it. But you know what? I'm glad I did. I still feel the same way this morning. I'm not marrying Adam. It's best for both of us."

Mom wipes a tear from her eye and gives me a little smile. Then she walks around to my side of the table and hugs me. Then she sits, and we eat our breakfast, avoiding the subject of Adam or the wedding throughout the remainder of the meal.

"Breakfast was great, Mom." I pick up our empty dishes and stack them in the sink for now. "Thanks for coming by and checking on me. I need to call work and tell them that I'll be working from home for the rest of the day."

Just then, I remember Tiffany's work assignment that she proposed to me yesterday. I had told her that I would think about it and let her know this morning. I quickly go to retrieve my phone in the living room. I turn it on and see that I have twenty text messages and ten voice mails. Scanning through the texts, I see one is from Adam. I ignore the rest and read his.

Jamie, if what you said yesterday was because of stress about the wedding, or something to do with Mother, we can fix that. But if you meant what you said, I won't bother you anymore.

I take a deep breath, then let it out and clear my mind for a few moments before finding the courage to text back.

Adam, I'm sorry if it sounded harsh. I meant what I said. Maybe after some time passes, you will forgive me, and we can be friends.