THE PASSAGE

Searching for Solstice

Chapter 51

I wake up early in the morning, even before Cain. I get out of bed and get the fire started again, then pick up the blankets off the floor and toss them on the spare bed. I open the door and step outside, noticing the first rays of sunshine creeping through the darkness in the eastern sky. The birds sense morning also coming and welcome the new day with their morning songs. I spend a few moments watching the first rays of the sun, gently caressing the leaves on the trees and enjoying the forest coming to life once again.

As I step back inside the cabin, the fire roars and pops, its flames casting shadows on the walls, illuminating every dark crevice and corner. Cain stirs in the bed, and I go to pick him up.

"Good morning, Cain. Did you sleep well? Yes, I know you did, didn't even wake up once, did you?"

I pull up a bench close to the fire and sit with him, talking to him as cheerfully as I can manage. But I sense a sadness in his eyes, a sadness that pierces straight through me, and it scares me.

"You know, don't you, Cain? You know what's happened to her."

His eyes remain locked on mine as if looking straight through me, looking sadder than the call of a white-throated sparrow on a lonely night. I bring his head to my neck and hug him tightly to me. "I'm sorry, Cain, I'm so sorry."

The flames in the fire flicker as though they were ghosts rising from the ashes. I look towards the door, and at that moment, I feel as though I will never see Toby or Solstice walk through it again. I walk back to bed with Cain and let him nurse, then try to fall back asleep as depression from what Cain told me earlier makes me want to do nothing more than pull the covers over my head and sleep all day.

Around mid-morning, Cain wakes me. I rub my eyes and then get out of bed and open the door to let some light in the gloomy cabin. I walk a few feet outside and look left and right, then walk to the edge of the cabin and look uphill, praying for a miracle that I would see Toby and Solstice coming down the trail, but I don't.

I stare in the direction of the trail for a few moments before going back inside and stepping over to Cain. "Hi, Cain. Did you have a nice nap?"

He coos and kicks his feet, his eyes looking bright and happy in the late morning. I kiss his face a few times and smile down at him, trying to forget what I saw in his eyes earlier.

After Cain nurses, I take the time to fix myself a late breakfast of hash browns and eggs fried in hog lard. We will be busy today looking for Solstice, and I know that I will probably have to skip lunch.

After I finish eating, I slip on the baby sling and then put Cain into it and grab the binoculars. We walk down the trail towards the creek, again looking around the woods, knowing that this time, I wouldn't be looking for Solstice but her body instead.

I get to the creek and head for the boat. After untying it and pushing the bow into the water, Cain and I get in. I unlatch the trolling motor and let it fall into the water, then switch it on, noticing how weak it sounds. I realize that the battery is getting low on power and that this is probably the last trip this boat will make up and down the creek. I'm not too worried if it dies because I have a paddle. Surely, I can paddle us to the bank.

With Toby searching the area behind the cabin, I thought I would search the creek once again. If she drowned, her body should be floating by now.

I make our way upstream, in the direction from which I first came to the cabin. Once we are past the sandy area, I search the bank on the shallow side, the same side as the cabin.

When the creek turns rocky with large boulders, I turn around and steer towards the bank on the deep side, paying close attention to the bank for signs that she may have swum across and climbed out. I alternate my gaze from the bank now and then to look in front of me, hoping that I don't spot her body floating in the water. God, if that were to happen, I'm not sure what I would do.