THE PASSAGE

MILK WITH BREAKFAST

Chapter 44

The feeling of tiny feet kicking into my stomach wakes me up. I open my eyes to find Cain lying in between Toby and me, looking up at me curiously, cooing every so often. Last night I had put him in our bed to nurse and fell asleep with him.

I rub Cain's tummy lightly as I struggle to wake up, enjoying the sensation of his body next to mine. I am very much in love with him.

"Good morning, Cain," I whisper.

He stares up at me, cooing, no doubt ready for his breakfast after having slept the whole night peacefully once again.

"Are you hungry? Is that a yes? Okay, I thought so. I need to get the fire started first."

I push myself out of bed and toss some kindling and logs into the fireplace, and then quickly duck back under the blankets. I pick Cain up and roll us over in the bed, with my back to Toby. Toby stirs, wraps his arm around my waist, and plants a soft kiss on my neck, the warmth of his body blanketing me in the cool morning. I pull Cain to my chest as he begins to nurse and fall back into Toby, his knee soon parting my thighs. I close my eyes as I hold Cain selfishly, enjoying Toby's kisses on my neck. The forest comes to life around us with the sound of birds calling to each other from every direction. Toby's hand finds its way to my other breast, his thigh snuggled tightly between mine. I open my eyes and glance in the direction of Solstice's bed and see that she is awake, staring at us. She gives me a faint, lonely smile from across the room, then averts her gaze and rolls over. I move Toby's hand away from my breast, feeling like I've just got caught doing something terrible. His hand moves to my hip, his thigh digging deeper. I roll my head over towards Toby.

"Toby, stop, we can't," I whisper.

I hear him sigh. I continue to nurse Cain for about ten more minutes, thankful when he finishes. I get out of bed and then go and hand Cain to Solstice, feeling relieved now with seeing the baby in his mother's arms where he belongs. I shouldn't have fallen asleep with him last night, and I shouldn't have slept with Toby.

After finding my clothes, I step outside to pee, thinking of my first evening here, my first time peeing outside, no toilet paper, and how awkward it felt doing it in this manner. So soon had it turned into being a natural part of life.

I button my pants, then look around a bit, a cool morning breeze making me feel a little chilly, alleviating some of the heat I felt back in the cabin. Above me, a bird calls, making a loud warbling sound. Somewhere in the distance, another bird answers. I gaze into the woods to the north of the cabin at a small outcrop of rocks, seemingly out of place, reminding me of some sort of alter in the morning light.

Back inside the cabin, Solstice has Cain cuddled up with her. Toby pretends to be asleep, although I can tell he's not. I walk over to the fireplace, pull some coals off to the side with a stick, and prepare to make scrambled eggs.

A few minutes later, Solstice gets out of bed, totally naked this morning, hair disheveled, stumbling around looking for her dress. I cast a sideways glance at Toby while I work on the eggs and catch him squinting his eyes in her direction but pretending to be asleep. I smile and unexpectedly snort out loud. Solstice bends over in front of me to pick up her dress, and I playfully smack her across the butt, the sound from it letting me know that I slapped her harder than intended. She lets out a shriek and immediately bolts upright, a look of surprise on her face, a red handprint disappearing as the hem of the dress falls to her thighs. After locating her underwear and slipping into them, she picks up Cain and comes to sit on the opposite bench, staring at the pot as I stir.

"What do you think?" she asks.

"I think breakfast is going to turn out well. I have added some chopped nuts for a salty flavor and also green onion."