THE PASSAGE

THE SEARCH

Chapter 49

I burst through the cabin door, panting for breath. Toby quickly looks up at me from the bedside, where he is playing with Cain. 

"Toby, Solstice is gone."

He bolts up off the bed. "What?"

"She's gone," I say, as I pant for breath. "I've looked all around. She's nowhere in sight."

Toby looks towards the creek as if looking straight through the wall.

"Alright," he says, handing me Cain. "You stay here with Cain. I'll go look for her."

"But Toby, I've already looked everywhere I could think of, and she's not there."

"Another set of eyes wouldn't hurt. I may spot something that you missed. Did you happen to look in the cave?"

"Um, no. Why would Solstice be there?"

"I don't know, but it's worth having a look. Stay here in case she comes back."

I watch Toby walk towards the creek from the doorway, keeping an eye for clues on the ground. I slip the baby sling on, then lay Cain inside. I've got to look for her.

I head towards the grove again, walking slowly this time, keeping my eye to the ground and surrounding area to look for anything that might indicate that Solstice had come this way. Back behind me, I hear Toby calling out her name, and I do the same.

Once I come upon the grove, I notice most of the monkeys have finished feeding and have left; only two that I can see remain. They fuss at me only briefly before turning their attention back to the purple fruit. I walk the perimeter again, looking for clues that might indicate she had come in this direction. I continue to call out her name as I make my way around. In the distance, I hear Toby doing the same.

After I walk the perimeter, I walk the area between the trees, but I find no clues. I spot Toby near the edge of the trail, and he walks in my direction.

"Why didn't you stay at the cabin?"

"Toby, I can't just sit there and do nothing. You should know that. You see anything?"

He shakes his head. "You know, now that I think about it, I heard the cabin door open last night."

"You did? When was that?"

"I'm not sure, but I would say about four hours after we went to bed, around midnight, I suppose. I didn't think anything of it. I thought one of you had to go pee."

"And you didn't hear her come back in?"

"No, I guess not. I probably fell back asleep."

I look around, holding Cain close. "Why would she go wandering off in the night?"

"I don't know. It doesn't make any sense. Solstice would have woken one of us if something was wrong. Let's walk towards the nesting area."

We walk through the woods towards the nesting area, Toby and I walking in the same direction but staying about fifty feet apart so that our eyes could cover more ground. We search the nesting area again and then walk past the bend in the creek, both of us calling out her name. After we determine that she's not in this area, we walk to the sandy expanse of the creek and follow that towards the boat. Toby alternates his gaze between looking for her footprints and looking towards the far side of the creek. I don't think she would have drowned because she is a good swimmer. Even so, I search the waters with Toby because we can't dismiss the possibility.

We walk to the boat, and Toby looks around there for a while. I shift Cain's position and follow Toby past the boat until the sandy area ends, and then we walk up into the woods and circle back towards the cabin.

I rush to the cabin, hoping to find Solstice eating her breakfast by the fireplace, with me thinking of the scolding I was going to give her. I push the door open, and my heart sinks low, and at seeing the empty cabin, I experience the loneliest feeling I have ever felt.

From the doorway, I turn around and look towards the trail going to the creek, seeing Toby approaching. "Toby..." I wipe a stray tear off my cheek, "what are we going to do?"

He stops in front of me at the doorway and puts a hand on my shoulder.

"The first thing we need to do is stay calm so that we can think straight. We'll find her."

He looks past me into the cabin. "Let's look around the cabin, see if she took something with her, or maybe left some other clue as to why she would have left in the night."

We go inside, and I lay Cain in Toby's bed and pat him back to sleep.

Toby says, "I think a flashlight is missing."

We look all around for the missing flashlight, and then I notice that a blanket is also missing and point it out to him.

Toby scratches his chin. "Hmm, being that she took both the flashlight and blanket, that tells me she had it in her mind to leave and not tell us." He looks at me. "You two didn't have an argument, did you?"

"What? No. Solstice and I have never uttered even one negative word towards each other."

"Well, is there any reason at all that you can think of as to why she would have left in the night and not told us?"

"No, I can't think of any reason at all. As you said, it just doesn't make sense. She wouldn't have planned on going off by herself and leaving us, especially Cain."

He nods. "I'm going to have to go look for her."

I look up at him. "I know."

"By myself."

I nod and hold back a sob and then sit on the bedside next to Cain and bury my face in my hands.

"I may be gone a while. By now, she could have already walked 20 miles in any direction, so I suspect I probably won't be home this evening. I'll probably spend the rest of the day trying to find evidence of the direction she has taken and go from there."

He retrieves the leather satchel that we had found in the storage room and begins putting things in it; a blanket, a lighter, a flashlight, and a couple of potatoes.

"I'll take my bow and arrows and leave you the rifle."

"No, you take the rifle for protection."

"You may need it to hunt. I should be back before your food runs out, but you never know."

"How long do you think you'll be gone?"

"I don't know. I would like to think that I could locate her within three days, and maybe a day's hike to get back here, four days, I would say."

"Why are you taking that satchel and not the backpack?"

"Because you may need it to carry things, and you have Cain to tote around also. I'll be okay."

"I'll get you some leftover roast pork to take with you."

I take the hunting knife and a big piece of aluminum foil, then go to the cellar where I cut a nice chunk of roast pork for him. I also give him half of a smoked rabbit and two smoked fish. When I come back around the cabin, Toby is waiting for me by the door, bow in hand, the quiver of arrows and satchel over his shoulder. I open the satchel and stuff the meat inside.

"Did you leave enough food for yourself?" he asks.

"Yes, at least a couple of days' worth. I can hunt a rabbit by myself with Cain if I have to, or I can fish. I'll be fine, don't worry about me."

"Don't go look for Solstice on your own. You and Cain could get lost as she did. Promise me you won't do that."

I look into his eyes, "I promise," we won't get lost.

He nods, "I should get going."

We share a lingering kiss, and then I look into his eyes. "Find her, Toby."

"I will."

I wrap my arms around him again, "I love you."

"I love you too."

I find the courage to release him from my grasp and watch him walk up the trail towards the grove until he disappears, and I get a disturbing feeling that that's the last time I will ever see him.