THE PASSAGE

JAMIE'S GIFT TO SOLSTICE

Chapter 47

With Toby and Cain both asleep, Solstice and I stare at the fire, each absorbed in our own thoughts about that journal and our future here. Finally, I break the silence.

"There's a lot to think about, though," I say, "now that we know that this is our permanent home. The first thing that comes to mind is clothing. The clothes we have will soon wear out."

"We have the blankets for mornings and evenings, the temperature is mild during the day, so I don't think it's a big concern," she giggles, "we could run around naked, for the most part."

I glance towards Toby, making sure he is asleep, then to Solstice, wanting to keep my voice low.

"You remember the conversation we had a few days ago when we were talking about a mate for Cain when he is older?"

She giggles. "Yes, I remember."

"I think we could make it work. You still okay with that?"

She looks at me and lays a hand on my knee. "Jamie, I say lots of things. It's a conversation I probably shouldn't have bought up. Toby is yours. Maybe it's best if we forget about that conversation we had for now."

"Solstice, it's just us here in this desolate land. I love Toby, but we are not married. We haven't even had sex yet. We share everything else about ourselves here. Why not our love?"

"Some things are not meant to be shared."

"Love is meant to be shared," I say, "It's not something that I would think about doing if I were back in New York, or anywhere else, and surely not with anyone else except you. But here, our situation is unique, so I think it's the right thing to do. In fact, I would feel selfish if I kept Toby to myself."

"Would it not make you feel even a little ... jealous and envious?"

"I've thought about it a lot, and no, it wouldn't. I can't even imagine it. Things are different here than in either of our worlds. I feel differently about things here than I would there, especially now that I know we'll be living here forever. But I still worry about getting pregnant. I'm not ready for that yet."

"I can help with that, help keep the risk to a minimum. I'll teach you how, but you'll have to wait until your next cycle. Usually, a woman doesn't have a period while nursing a baby and doesn't have to worry about getting pregnant. But it doesn't work the same when bestowing the rights, and I suspect that you will start your next cycle within the coming weeks. I suggest that you use the time between now and then to think about this decision you have made more thoroughly. And don't be afraid to tell me that you've changed your mind. If you do have second thoughts about it, it's okay."

"That's a good idea. We can continue talking about it, but I don't think I'll change my mind. Until then, is it okay if I sleep in the bed with you to avoid the temptation that comes from lying next to Toby?"

"Of course."

"And Solstice, how long do I need to keep nursing Toby? The sensations I get from him are much different than I do from nursing Cain if you know what I mean."

She giggles. "Toby is back to eating solid foods now, his infection has cleared up, and the wounds are healing exceptionally well. I had asked that you keep doing it for a while, mostly as a precaution. However, I suppose that you can stop now if you choose to. We'll see how he does from here."

"It's not that I mind it," I say, "but now that he is getting better, all I can think about while he is doing it is sex."

"Yes, I understand." She looks over at Toby and Cain, "we can probably let Cain sleep with Toby for a while tonight. I'm tired, and I'm going to bed."