Until November

Chapter 12

Ben 

"Mother—fu—" My shouts are cut short by the blast of water from the showerhead. Quickly backing out of the tub, I trip over my own pajamas and steady myself before falling completely. Damn it. Reaching over to the shower handle, I toggle it. The dial falls past the H for hot and I keep moving it until semi-warm water starts to flow. At least she has something other than showering with ice cubes. Scrubbing off the night of sleeping off the couch improves my mood barely a fraction. Tight, wound up shoulders from my sleeping arrangement will be payback trying to swing on the course today. My hand braces on the nasty tile and the water slides down the back of my neck. 

Training is not something I can get out. Taking days off is never an option. Not if I want to keep my rank. Not that I would know what to do here. Every time I step foot in the house I am looking for reasons to leave. Just like I can't stand to be in this shower one second longer. I skip the shave and towel-dry, eventually I emerge in athletic shorts and a t-shirt. The elite athlete training center isn't far from town and I plan to spend all my time there.

Jocelyn's in the kitchen and staring at the coffee maker with dazed eyes. She turns her head to me. All that tiredness zaps and lights with determined brightness. The fight already on the tip of her tongue. "Don't tell me you're leaving."

"Sorry, sweetheart. I have to train."

"Bullshit," she mumbles and runs a finger through her hair. She says something I don't immediately make out.

The coffee maker drips liquid so slowly. It is distinctly possible the coffee is coming out one drop at a time. Like a slow death march. "Do you want me to buy you a new machine?" My offer is sincere. My phone is in hand, ready to buy. 

She lifts her chin slightly and squares her shoulders. A thin, long sigh leaves her mouth as she looks at me. "Don't you dare order me a new one. I like the one I have." 

"It's a relic." I glance at the cabinets that have loose hinges. It makes me think of my dad. He fixed everything with his hands. It's a sudden, dusty, well-loved memory of him in my parents' kitchen, rehanging cabinets. Where did that memory come from? "How's Noelle?"

This gets her and she turns, her thin robe open at the front revealing a plain t-shirt and loose leggings. "Ben. What is it you think you're supposed to be doing for these next two months?" She folds her hands over her chest.

Counting down the days until I go home. "I'm living with you and the baby. And you're getting money at the end of this."

Her gray eyes turn stormy, knocking my bad attitude back a notch. "Do not throw that in my face ever again." She fishes a mug out of the cabinet and pours black coffee. "I just put Noelle down and I'm going to try to get sleep because I was up all night with her."

She leaves me alone and I go to the refrigerator to get what I need for my smoothie. Spinach, kale, frozen berries, protein powder, almond milk, banana. I put it in the smoothie bullet that arrived yesterday and mix the ingredients. I shove it all in the container and press the on button. The sound is like a chainsaw and I keep pressing it, the frozen banana is stuck. Jocelyn's footsteps sound overhead. They come down the stairs.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"

I look over my shoulder, my shoulder blades pinching like a pencil between them. "What? I'm making breakfast."

Her eyes turn like hot daggers at the smoothie blender. "I just told you I need to sleep because I'm up every two hours. When you're getting your beauty rest I am up with Noelle. This is the one time I have to sleep." She plunks a hand on her hip. Her ponytail slashes at her shoulder, it's then I realize there's two liquid pools spreading over her breasts.