Until November

Chapter 16

Ben 

Alarm hits me dead center, worry cripples my breath with a razor-sharp pulse. What am I looking at? Jocelyn's front door is open. Wide open. No lights are on. Like there's no life inside. The hour so early that a hazy dawn smothers the trees around her property. I rush up the steps calling for her, but my breaths suck back staying trapped in my chest like a caged Tiger. "Jocelyn!" I shout again, needing to hear her response, even if it's an angry quip or her telling me to f—off.

I stop in the entryway, my heartbeat accelerated, my eyes adjusting to the low, dusty light. I gasp with a punch to the heart. Jocelyn's phone is on the coffee table. My gaze swings fast to the stairs but there's zero sound. Everything looks in place, but the empty bouncy chair unsettles me. The corner of one of Noelle's blankets on the floor flutters from the wind.

I turn around and look at the doorframe, my eyes rapt with a sickening swish in my stomach at the forced entry marks. The wood was already semi-rotted. It would be a cakewalk for anyone determined to get inside. I take out my phone, ready to call for help, my hands trembling with every step upstairs. Afraid to go up there and see...helpless to stay put and not see what's waiting. "Please, Jocelyn. Please be okay," my soul whispers, strangling my gut and holding out that none of this is happening.

I go upstairs. 

My hand clenches around my phone. The top step in sight. Noelle's cries are nonexistent. Jocelyn's footsteps are silenced in a house we know each other's every move. Every muscle from my jaw to my back clench in grim anticipation. I am not kind to myself. Disgust, self-loathing, worry shakes at me for not being here. For not fucking staying.

I check the bathroom first. Empty. 

The nursery second...Noelle's diaper bag is by the crib. Jocelyn's room is third...Each one is empty. Each one ringing warning bells louder. All of her things are here. Her unmade bed sends shivers down my back, and her sheets ruffled like she flung the covers off.

I go back to the nursery and stare at the empty crib, my hands shaking, a chilly morning breeze slips through a small opening in the window. Worry grounds away at my thoughts. Her car is here, her phone is here, the door was open. I close my eyes, swept away by guilt. Where had I been last night? I was out having drinks and flirting with an ad executive while Jocelyn could have been tortured and killed. And Noelle...I stretch my neck up with anguish riding down my back and pooling in fear in my gut. A cold breeze blows against my cheek like a hand reaching out, forcing me to change focus.

I turn my head. Instincts draw me closer to the air. I push the window up all the way and stick my head out, finding a rickety set of wooden steps I didn't know existed. My heart slams against my chest. "Jocelyn," I say her name loud, my gaze stretching out back to the shed, a cry filling the morning air.

Tears burn my eyes and I clear my throat, dialing 9-1-1.

The dispatcher tells me to wait outside, but my feet don't stay put. I call out Jocelyn's name and Noelle's. The gray fall air has a slight mist around the shed. Leaves break under my feet as I go to them. I force my steps to move towards the shed, closer now, my jaw strained, my breath, constricted, I put my hand on the shed handle, tears flowing down my face and fear eating me alive. She is here. I know it. I know it in a way I don't want to.

I open the shed. The door heavy and rickety. 

My breath erupts in relief. Noelle's cries crash around me. 

"Ben," she gasps my name. 

Jocelyn cowers in the corner, Noelle is in her arms, an old, rough blanket is over her shoulders. I push the doors open wide. "Jocelyn. Noelle." I look at both of them with teary gasps from my throat. I am in front of her in a heartbeat, putting put my hand on Jocelyn's cheek, my gaze scoping over Noelle's tiny face against Jocelyn's chest. "Are you okay? What happened? Who did this?" The words I was terrified burning a whole on my tongue.