Until November

Chapter 24

Jocelyn 

Ben has an early schedule at the athletic center. He leaves, but not before thoroughly kissing me, trapping me against the front door, his mouth taking any chance to be on mine. Our world isn't falling apart around us. It's building. It's becoming something. Ben's ripped body was completely weak at my touch. I need a sec here to love that. "Get on with it," I chastise myself, though already looking forward to Ben taking over my bed tonight, and by association, me. I laugh at myself and get dressed.

The sunny, cloud-free day beckons me to be semi-productive. Time is moving on. It's moving fast. Returning to work is approaching. The need to find childcare is a priority. I have given up on Ben budging on wanting Noelle. He has never wavered in his plan, which means I need to be smart about focusing on what's ahead. I change Noelle and check my phone.

Leona called. Shoot. I must have been in the shower. My first course of action is to call her back. Worry surrounds me as the phone rings. She had sounded so upset last night.

"Leona, hey." I pause, waiting to gauge her voice.

Sniffles. More sniffles. "Can we meet downtown? I need to get out."

Noelle and I have nothing going on today. "Of course. Tell me when and where." I hesitate, not wanting to hang up on my friend who is clearly hurting. "We can talk now, if it's easier."

"No. In person. I'll see you in an hour."

What could possibly make her so sad? Her dreams are all coming true. It takes me an hour to get Noelle ready to go outside. I schlep the baby carrier to my beloved Pathfinder and situate her inside. Finally, I get in the driver's seat, about to start the car, when my phone rings. "Hello?"

"Jocelyn," the tentative voice says, "this is Linda—Hannah's mother." Oh. My hands fall away from the keys. "I had to fight to get your number, so I apologize for that. Ben's been difficult about letting John and I see Noelle. You can imagine my surprise to find out you've been watching Noelle. It's a conflict of interest."

Sitting up taller. Was that a threat? This is not a conversation I should be involved in. "Linda--"

"We're still her grandparents. We have a right to see her. John and I want to see her. Immediately. We know she's staying with you."

Linda's rightfully angry attack floods me with panic. I need to call Ben first. Even if I wanted to promise her she could see Noelle, it's not my call. "Let me call you back."

"Let us see her or we're getting lawyers involved. Tell that to Ben."

Texting Ben at once, my fingers race over the keyboard. The cracks in our contracts feel suddenly like they're about to expand. My heartbeat flies fast as I jolt the car into reverse and get out of the driveway.

The drive to the park soothes my worries only slightly. Linda's tone sticks to my gut, my mind going back-and-forth if Ben has mentioned anything about Linda and John asking to see Noelle. It's not that I have forgotten about them, I haven't, I just don't know what to do. By the time I park and unload Noelle, then get her into the stroller and stuff the basket with the diaper bag, I'm running late.

Leona is waiting for us on a park bench. The town square bustles with walkers and joggers. The air is crisp and it's too warm today for scarves and hats. Right away, I see total despondency on her face, a shadow covering her soul. She looks up at me blankly, says nothing.

"You're scaring me." I take a seat next to her, adjusting the stroller to face me. "Leona?"

Strands of her hair flutter. Leona stares at her hands. She releases a huge breath, her voice breaks in tears. "I'm not going to New York."