Until November

Chapter 26

Jocelyn 

Noelle's been fussy lately, I'm coasting on coffee and the shared routine Ben and I have wordlessly fallen into. Waking up moments before Ben leave me a chance to look at him. Eyes closed. Long lashes. His exhausted, slumbering face pulling at my heart. He is different than when he first arrived. His actions are like a constant apology. The grass is mowed. Dishes are done. Noelle is bathed and the dirty diapers are taken out. She is in his arms with him when I'm too tired to soothe her cries.  

My gaze climbs over his bare chest, shadowy in moments before sunrise. My body naturally seeks out his, needing, craving for things to turn hot between the sheets. He didn't say much last night when he got home from Jack's house, but I sensed something was wrong. The closed-off look in his eyes. His thoughts were somewhere else. Nudging my hand up his bare chest, the base of my belly is twisted in budding, trapped heat. 

For as close as we're becoming, he still holds back so much. His mind is locked like the Cryptex, harboring words and memories I don't know if he will ever share with me. He is showing me how to be physical without expecting more, with being happy with whatever the other is willing to offer, but the problem is, I want to know what he hides in his heart.

More. My heart is starting to want more. Which means, I am in trouble. Open my fingers over his chest causes his abs to twitch. Ben's split-second gaze meets mine with a sly grin. He grumbles and stretches, his body straightening against mine with intense, thirsty eyes focused on me as his hand runs down my back. "Is there something you want?"

Tell me the things you don't say out loud.

Keep this physical, Jocelyn. Even though I'm losing that battle like a house on stilts in a mudslide. Anticipation rises in my stomach, stretching to the parts longing for his touch. Repositioning my lower half near his hand, his gaze gleams with fire-starting heat. His mouth snags mine, driving kiss after kiss into me. His hand slips down south, moving over top my panties. The pajama shorts a victim of wrong place, wrong time and he quickly discards them. An annoyed huff at the next layer, is off before I catch the smug look on his face that he is given the opportunity to show what he can do. I grab his hand. "Not all the way, okay? Not until my doctor says so."

"That's not going to be a problem." I don't remark on the arrogant slide of his voice, my stomach trembling with anticipation. "I'll be gentle. And slow." His voice is so full of need that I'm hot in the cheeks.

Ben has me on my back, his mouth sinfully on mine. His kisses are rough like his newly calloused hands. In one motion he arches my body up, his hand like a foundation low on my waist. My body arcing to his will. He runs a wide, hand between my breasts. His fingers claiming my breasts, pushing them, cupping them, his eyes full of bold heat. Unspoken need breaking and crackling. His mouth puts all that into motion, trailing a rugged path with his mouth, sucking each nipple, his hand smothering my breast. Ben's mouth screws me with each stroke of his scorching mouth against me. His lips close around my nipple again. Each one turning deliciously rigid and raw from his firm, scraping mouth drawing out agonizing aches between my legs. "I have been thinking about this since I met you," his voice is husky and dark, his hand goes between my legs and he parts my thigh wide, then gently grips beneath my knee.

"That's not exactly the impression I got." A nervous laugh escapes as he strokes the space between my legs with his finger. Heat blooms and dampens against my panties. It's been so long I hope there's not dust down there.

"You misunderstood my first reaction." His mouth starts between my breasts, gliding down my middle. "This is what I wanted. What I'm going to give. I want to feel you come against my mouth." His hand sweeps over my breasts. "Do you want that?"