Not Just Perfect

What It Would Be Like Without You

Introduction:
(Re-read chapter 1-3 for the best understanding) [This takes place two years ago/2013]
This chapter is dedicated to what Alex's life would be like without Cameron. I'll take you back to the beginning but this time Cameron's one decision will ruin their future they were suppose to have together. I felt like it would be interesting to see the other side of the story and what her life would have been like with out falling in love with this chunk of yum (am I right ladies?) all right, you can read now. 💩
REMEMBER THIS DOES NOT ACTUALLY HAPPEN!! THIS IS JUST A FILLER CHAPTER!

*Alex's Perspective*

I walked into the gigantic school looking at all the navy blue lockers and the dark grey tiles. As I was looking down, all of a sudden I ran into someone. I stumbled to the ground and my books slid across the floor. "I'm so sorry!" Said a deep but sweet voice. I looked up. Oh my gosh. The boy was tall. He had dark brown hair, milky, brown eyes, and a blinding, white smile. "No! I'm sorry!" I said shyly. "Excuse me! Do you know who your talking to?" Said a really pretty, short brunette. The boy began to dust himself off. Instead of saying something, he stood there and let her tell me off. "This is Cameron Dallas! The Cameron Dallas! How clumsy could you be!? You probably did this on purpose! What? You think it's funny to mess with famous boys!? What's your problem, you little slut? You were probably hoping he would help you pick up your books and maybe later you could go to his house and suck his face..? Yeah, no! You need to get your shit together. Okay!?"

I stood there with a blank expression. "I-" she immediately cut me off "Okay. Don't touch him." She finished. Cameron chuckled and rolled his eyes. "Calm down Ashely." He joked. She giggled and they began to walk down the hall way. My heart was pounding out of my chest. She made me feel so useless... And he- he angered me! I was falling into some love trap until he brushed my finger prints off his shoulders. I all ready began growing hatred for the both of them. Who do I think I am!? More like, Who does she think she is!? Nobody even knows who "Cameron Dallas" is! At least I don't. I want absolutely nothing to do with him. I began to stomp off. All I wanted was Noah as I walked down the empty hallways. I wanted his tight grip around me, keeping me safe.

As I walked into my English class I saw a familiar face. It was that Dallas boy. I held my breath when I realized the only open seat was next to him. I slowly walked over and gently sat down in the chair. I blew the hair out of my face while the teacher began to speak. Cameron and I made eye contact as I felt my hand form into a fist. I hit my palm hoping some voodoo stuff would happen and his nose would start bleeding. His eyes twinkled in the light and my knees began to wobble. I had this crush on him but at the same time I wanted to crush him. He made me so angry but I wanted to kiss his plump lips. All of a sudden my mind flicked to Noah as all of my feelings for Cameron streamed out of my head.

"Do I know you?" Cameron whispered. I nodded my head no, hoping he wouldn't remember. "No wait! Your that girl from the hall!" He exclaimed. "Cameron, do you have something to say?" The teacher chuckled. "No." He stated. "Sir." He quickly added. The teacher began to write on the whiteboard again. Soon enough the bell rang. I slung my bag over my shoulder and brushed passed Cameron.

*School day is over and Alex has had a rough day so far.*

As I walked into my house I smelled dinner cooking. Food has been the only good thing about this day. I sprinted up the stairs to my room. Once I opened the door, I jumped on my bed. I laid there and tried to rest. As soon as I drifted off my phone began to ring. It was Noah. I smiled as I answered the call.

"Hey Noah!"

"Hey Alex...."

"What's wrong you sound down. Are
you okay babe?"

"Yeah I'm okay, but I don't know if you'll be.."

"What is it?"

"I have bad news."

"What's the news? I'll always be here for you Noah."

"Yeah I know you will but, I won't always be there for you. At least not any more."

I felt the pit of my stomach drop. A tear tried to escape my eye but, I held it in. I sniffed a little and started to talk again. My voice sounded raspy and dry, because I was trying so hard to keep my sobs in.

"W-what is that supposed to mean Noah?!" I sounded angry.

"Shhhh. It means I'm breaking up with you Alex."

"Y-your w-what?.."

"Alex, I'm breaking up with you! Get it through you beautiful head! I love you and always will think your perfect but, it's time to part."

"After all we've been through, Noah? Three years... Three years."

"Alex I found someone else. I apologize. You can find someone too. Don't get too mad. I still love you. My feelings for Amber are stronger. Stronger than our love. Stronger than all those three years combined. That let's me know that she's the one for me Alex. I promise you'll find someone else."

"But, I.. Thought you loved me?"

The phone hung up. Not by me. By Noah. I started to cry. All the tears came out at once. I wanted to die. I was suppose to do everything with him. He was the only person making all of this okay. Now I wanted to destroy him! How could he...? Our love was growing stronger and stronger everyday for over three years and some girl he met last month can just replace me!? I was so done. With everything. With everyone. With myself. Nothing is ever going to save me. Nothing is ever going to get better. I have no purpose in this world. Nobody loves me. Why am I here? Why am I still here? I ran to the restroom and screamed. I opened my top cabinet. My eyes scanned and searched. "Methadone." I whispered . (Prescribed pain killers). I grasped the bottle and slid against the wall. I screamed and cried. "NOBODY WANTS ME!" I bellowed. Nobody was home so all I could do was explode. "NOBODY WANTS ME!!!" I repeated. I poured the pills into my palm.

"I don't need them anyways." Were Alex's last words before she committed suicide .

*Cameron's perspective*
(5:37pm, same exact time that Alex committed suicide)
I chewed my pencil as I tried to figure out the next equation. (He's doing math homework.) All of a sudden a sharp pain bolted through my body causing me to grunt. The indescribable pain rung throughout my muscles, leaving me weak. My chest ached and my head pounded. I couldn't figure out why. I fell out of my chair, onto the floor. All I could do was moan. I wanted her. I needed her!

"ALEX!!" Were Cameron's last words before he past out. Only briefly. This is called connection/loss trauma. When somebody you have a deep connection with or in this case were suppose to, you have pains and aching when something tragic may happen to them.

Alexandria Grace Rose (1995-2013)
Cause of death: Suicidal overdose

Yes Alex would have literally died with out Cameron. If you do not see how this would have happened go re-read chapters 1-3 for more understanding.