Justice at Delphi - The Fall of Sibyl

Chapter 2

The mystery of  human existence lies not in just staying alive, but in finding something to live for.

-Fyodor Dostoyevsky

Kogami took a deep drag on his cigarette and blew the smoke out into the still night. His eyes scanned the dark shapes of the trees and foliage for dangers lurking in the inky black. It was more out of habit than necessity. He'd been a part of enough rebellions to know when the fight was done. Peace and democracy were within reach. Every day more rebels were departing their jungle camps and returning to the cities they'd been driven from to start anew. 

He'd been invited to join half a dozen households of the rebels in their towns and cities. Kogami had turned them all down. It wasn't that he couldn't picture himself living a quiet, peaceful life in a small town or village. It just didn't feel right. At first, he thought it was the wanderlust that had dominated so much of his early days after slipping Sibyl's leash. Slowly, he came to realize there was another reason. 

It hadn't been wanderlust that had dictated his movements. Kogami realized he'd been searching for something. After becoming an enforcer and effectively ending his life as a detective, Kogami had struggled with the meaning of his life. His purpose. If he wasn't a detective, what was he? Sibyl had labeled him a criminal, but he didn't feel like a criminal. Angry, frustrated, bitter, disillusioned, lost...definitely. All that and more, but not criminal. It had been especially difficult when Akane came into his life. 

She had reminded him of the very thing he could no longer be. A thing he had wanted to be his entire life. After killing Makishima, he worried he had become a completely different person. A monster. Perhaps it was why he'd thrown himself into conflict after conflict, serving the cause of the oppressed and down-trodden. Searching for that purpose he'd lost. It had taken an unexpected reunion to show him that he wasn't as altered as he'd thought. That the man he was now could still inspire hope and respect in someone whose opinion he valued above all else. He may not be a detective anymore, but he remained a man of principle. 

The real reason he couldn't entertain the notion of living the rest of his days in some obscure village was not because of wanderlust. It just wasn't where he belonged. Far away from the sound of gunfire and the smell of smoke, Kogami still felt the hum of battle in his blood. He couldn't live his days out in relative peace when the war he needed to fight was not here in the jungles. His war was in a different jungle. A concrete, glass, and steel jungle.

 Tomorrow, he would say his good-byes and move on. While he would miss the camaraderie of the rebel camp, he wouldn't miss the looks of silent adoration. Picking up followers wasn't his style. The similarities between himself and Makishima still haunted him. The man had left an indelible stain on his life. Though Makishima was dead, a part of him still lived inside Kogami's mind. A reminder of humanity's shadow. He refused to become anything like the sociopath he faced down in the hyper-oat field. He may carry the mark of the man on his soul, but he would not be him.

Despite the darkness, Kogami stared out into the night. Somewhere out there was the sea. Somewhere out there was home. Maybe it had taken leaving to make him realize his purpose. There was no running from his pain. It traveled with him. What had he accomplished in desperately fighting for his life in a foreign land? Freedom taken with the barrel of a gun? He'd been free after a fashion, but not those he loved.

Everyone he ever cared about was still in Japan. Still under Sibyl's tyrannical thumb. Akane. Her name drifted through his mind, a balm for his troubled soul. He hadn't realized how much he'd missed her until she'd shown up in the SEAUn. He knew she was still wading through Sibyl's shadow towards a better world. He had no doubt of that. Guilt weighed heavy on his shoulders. He'd left her to do it alone. Not many inspectors thought the way she did.

Kogami smiled to himself. He no longer had to search for meaning or purpose in his life. He knew exactly what he wanted to live for. The people he left behind. Especially one in particular. One brave, smart, tenacious, young woman who nurtured a heart he'd thought was long dead. He owed her a great debt and now it was time to pay up. 

Akane's big, dark eyes swam in his mind. The way she'd looked at him when he'd sent her away during the mercenaries' attack still tortured him. Never before had he wanted so badly to protect someone. To be the hero she thought he was. The feeling had been both terrifying and exhilarating.  Their time together had been so brief and yet each moment was infinitely precious. Makishima may have plunged him into Hell, but Akane had given him a glimpse into Heaven.

I'm coming...Akane. Wait for me...

Slipping soundlessly through the trees, Kogami headed back to his tent to pack. He kept a wary eye out for predators of the furry and scaly variety. While there may not be military or mercenary groups out to get them anymore, the jungle was still a dangerous place. He nodded to a few other members of the guerilla unit in passing who were probably as restless as he to be up so late. He wasn't the only one unaccustomed to peace.

His tent was small and his possessions few. Practicality demanded he travel light. Flicking out his lighter, he lit a candle on the small folding table in his tent. Kogami reached for the map rolled on the table top. He studied the map, plotting his route to the coast. Traveling through miles of jungle was the easy part. The hard part would come when he tried to get back into Japan. He had a few ideas which he hoped to turn into full-fledged plans by the time he reached the coast. 

Staying under the Sibyl's radar was going to be difficult. Who knew how much had changed since he'd been gone. He would have to be cautious especially if he was going to attempt the Herculean feat of bringing down the Sibyl System once and for all. Yawning, Kogami settled in to catch a few hours of sleep before dawn. Tomorrow, Shinya Kogami was going home.

The Sibyl System started in Japan and that's where it was going to end. He resolved as sleep claimed him. At long last, the lone wolf was returning to the pack.