Outside of Fear

Chapter Three

The loud beeping of Derek's pager interrupts his conversation with the nurse at the front desk of the ER. His heart jumps in his chest when he sees it's a 911 to the ICU room of Colonel Grey. 

Her operation was two days ago. Derek knows it can take a long time for patients to wake up, especially after complex neurosurgeries, but it had concerned him when she made no signs of coming back to consciousness. She needed time to recover, extensive injures had occurred on her already damaged body. 

Derek doesn't know what happened to her, but the scans they had taken showed just how much this woman has been through. He's not too surprised though, who knows what seven years in the service could do to a person. 

Now, if she's not waking up she could be crashing. He doesn't know which, so he makes a mad run up to the ICU, abandoning his consult in the pit. 

When he comes skidding to a halt in the room, he sees Miranda Bailey standing at the head of the fully reclined hospital bed, an intubation tube in her hand. A weak cough sounds from the bed and Derek instantly breathes in relief. 

The large smile on Bailey's face makes him smile as well, and they are soon joined by Callie Torres.  "She's awake? Where's Karev and Yang?" 

"I sent them off to get sleep and something to eat. She's still drowsy from the sedation so it will be a while before she can really function anyway." Bailey explains, and both of the other surgeons nod and approach the bed. Meredith's eyes are half open and cloudy, darting around the room. 

Derek looks down at her, seeing panic in the emerald orbs despite the fog. "Colonel Grey, you're at Seattle Grace Hospital. I'm Dr. Shepherd, these are Dr. Bailey and Dr. Torres. Can you hear me?"

It takes a moment, but Meredith nods her head. The tiniest of movements, but a nod nonetheless. 

"Can you move her bed up? This is a really vulnerable position." Derek glances at Callie. 

"Can her spine handle it?"

"It's been three days, she can sit up some." Derek nods. The ortho surgeon obeys, slowly raising the top half of the hospital bed up so Meredith is sitting up more. 

After a few minutes, she becomes more aware of her surroundings and after quite a bit of water, she can speak. The first thing she does is try to move her feet. 

Derek watches as the blankets on the end of the bed move, telling him that she's wiggling her toes. A big, joyous smile bursts out on her face as she closes her eyes. "I can move my legs." She breathes. "You did it."

"You will walk again, Colonel," Derek tells her, and her smile grows wider. The neurosurgeon finds himself unable to contain his own smile, watching her with such happiness makes butterflies flutter in his stomach. 

"What's the recovery time look like?" She asks, her gaze darting between the three doctors standing over her bed. 

"It will take six to eight weeks before you can move normally with your abdominal injuries." Bailey starts. 

"I estimate six months of rigorous physical therapy before you're back to relatively normal activities," Derek adds. Meredith inhales sharply, but nods. This isn't much of a shock to her, as a surgeon herself she understands what all this means. 

"I won't be able to deploy again, will I?" She asks, part of her afraid to know the answer. 

"I'm afraid your spine will never be back to one-hundred percent. At best, we're looking at eighty to ninety percent function." Derek answers her question honestly, feeling pity for her when he sees the look of sadness crossing her features. Why someone would even want to go back after the kind of trauma she's been through is beyond him.