Outside of Fear

Chapter Ten

Derek walks barely two feet behind Meredith, copying her slow pace as they enter the nursing home. She approaches the front desk, and he knows this is as far as he goes. Her mother is dying and she hasn't seen her in years. He'll be waiting for her, whenever she's ready.

Pain radiates through her body with every step, but Meredith ignores it. She's been discharged with enough pill bottles of antibiotics and pain meds to stock a small pharmacy.

"Hi, how can I help you?" The lady at the desk looks up as Meredith reaches it.

"Um, where uh...is Ellis Grey here?"

"Are you here to visit Dr. Grey?" The lady brightens, standing up.

"Yes." Merediths voice wavers.

"What's your relation?"

"I'm uh, I'm her daughter."

Confusion flickers across the woman's face. "Dr. Grey has a daughter? I've been working here for two years and no one's ever mentioned her having any children. Do you have any ID?"

Multiple emotions run through Meredith, but she maintains a calm appearance. "I don't have anything on me, no." That's the truth. Her driver's license needs to be renewed, her most prized belongings are in her safe in her storage locker. She hasn't been in the country in years. She might have a military badge in the car? "But I'm Colonel Dr. Meredith Grey of the US Marine Corps. I've been serving overseas for the past seven years, I just got back to the States. Ellis Grey is my mother. I made Cristina Yang her health proxy in my absence. I could call her if you'd like-"

"No, that won't be necessary. I apologize ma'am, I'll take you right to her."

"Thank you." Meredith swallows, following the woman through the building. "How is she?"

"She seems to think she's in her residency days most of the time, so I don't know if she'll recognize you. A lot of her motor functions have deteriorated. It's good of you to come by now that you're back. Family is always good."

Meredith muffles a scoff at the last statement. Yeah, sure. Family is always good. Tell that to the way she was raised.

"She's just in the chair over there," the woman points to a small sitting room with glass walls, a view of the pretty grass and patio outside. "Thank you for your service."

Meredith nods and smiles and the lady leaves them alone. Nerves roll, and the blonde slowly approaches the chair. The back is to her, so as soon as she steps around, she comes face to face with her mother.

Ellis is silent, gazing outside, and Meredith studies her. Seven years have really taken a toll. Ellis's face is smaller than she remembers, her body looks frail and bony. Suddenly emotional, Meredith steps closer and eases herself into the chair next to her mother.

"Hi," She starts, trying to gauge Ellis's condition. There's no response. Not even an acknowledgment that she heard her. "Mom?"

Ellis's gaze turns to Meredith blankly.

"Mommy?" She breathes.

"Meredith?" The voice is weak, but it's there. The colonel's heart bursts.

"It's me, Mom."

"Meredith, you grew up." A hint of a smile appears on the corner of her lips, eyes trained on her daughter.

"I did."

"That's a shame. It's awful being a grownup. But, the carousel never stops turning. You can't get off."

How well those words have aged. "I'm sorry I haven't visited more."

Silence.

"I-I joined the military. I'm a field surgeon for the Marines."