Outside of Fear

Chapter Fifteen

Meredith reaches beside her. Where's her gun? She stumbles out of bed, nearly losing her balance, and undoubtedly making a loud noise. Where the hell is she? Desperately, she looks for a weapon, anything to defend herself.

Footsteps outside the door, she instinctively reaches to her waist, but there's no holster. There's no gun. Her heart pounds, sweat glistening on her body. She's not safe.

A male voice sounds from the other side of the door, and then it opens. She prepares herself for hand-to-hand combat.

Derek is worried, confused, and filled with a thousand other emotions when he hears a thud coming from Meredith's room. Concern drives him to check on her, so he knocks on the shut door and calls her name. When there's so response, he opens it.

It's early evening, but the blinds are closed so the room is dark. However, he can still see her standing, facing him. Her eyes are wild, and he doesn't entirely recognize who he's staring at.

"Meredith? Mer, it's me," he tries, stepping closer to her. She inhales sharply and moves away.

Derek realizes that she's having a flashback. What the hell is he supposed to do? She won't let him get close to her, so he tries talking.

His voice is naturally low and soothing, and he does his best to calm the obviously panicked woman in front of him. 

"Meredith."

She stops. That voice, it finally cuts through her clouded, horrible thoughts. She recognizes it.

Meredith's heart is pounding, fear running through her.

It takes a minute, and then it hits her. Everything around her comes into focus, and the memories come crashing over her in an instant.

"Derek," she breathes.

He stops, smiling slightly in relief. "Hey."

"Oh my god." Meredith takes in her surroundings, trying to calm herself. Pain from her back spears through her, and she's forced to sit on the edge of the bed.

She wipes her forehead with the back of her hand, removing the cold sweat that had been building up there. She sucks in oxygen, her lungs feeling tight.

Derek slowly moves to sit next to her. She immediately leans into him, and on instinct, he wraps his arm around her smaller body.

"You're okay. It's okay," he whispers, waiting until she finally feels comfortable enough to sit back up on her own.

"My back," she manages to speak, her voice sounding distressed.

"Your spine?" He grows concerned again, knowing how fragile spines can be after major surgeries like hers.

"I-I don't know- I just moved really fast and..." she places a hand on the cause covering the gash on her back, biting her lip through the pounding pain.

Derek gets up and grabs the bottle of Percocet and hands her one. She takes it dry.

After a few more minutes of sitting in silence, they finally make eye contact.

"Do you want anything? Water, food?"

Meredith's mouth is so dry she can barely swallow. "Water would be good."

He nods, standing up and heading back out to the kitchen. Derek is torn between pressing her for details about what just happened, or letting her wait to talk to him on her own.

She follows him out, gratefully taking the glass of water and drinking it all.

"I'm sorry...I don't, uh, I don't know what happened back there."