Outside of Fear

Chapter Five

"Are you ready for this?"

"I'm in desperate need of a shower, so, yes."

A week after her low-grade infection cleared up, there's quite the crowd around Meredith's hospital room.

Her surgeons, Derek, Callie, and Bailey are there, as well as Alex and Cristina, though as family, they're keeping their distance. Also, Meredith's physical therapist, Megan.

The previous day the colonel had been able to sit up in bed. Today, she's trying to stand.

"Okay, hold on to my shoulder for support." The tall brunette PT with freckles says gently.

"I'll get her other side." Derek offers quickly. If anyone asks, his reason for volunteering is he's the neurosurgeon on the case and will know how much pressure her spine can take. Although, he does have ulterior motives.

He doesn't care in the slightest Meredith hasn't showered, as she'd complained about for days now. 

For some highly inappropriate reason, he is unbearably drawn to her.

Meredith sits at the edge of her bed, feet hanging over the side, not touching the ground. Megan has one arm wrapped around her back and the other in front, offering support. Derek quickly copies the physical therapists' position.

A soft, pained groan from Meredith reaches his ears, and he feels bad. There's nothing he can do about that though, she's the one who refused pain medication.

"Fucking-" She grunts sharply under her breath.

"Just take your time. Whenever you're ready." Megan soothes.

"Goddamnit." She curses again, her voice coming out strained as she shifts to her feet.

Her language continues, none of the other doctors saying a word except for Megan. Her calming demeanor is both encouraging and frustrating Meredith at the same time.

Her legs wobble slightly underneath her, and she feels Derek's grip tighten instantly, relaxing only when she gets her balance back.

"It's okay, I got you. I won't let you fall, you got this." Derek joins in the encouragement, and somehow Meredith seems to draw strength from it.

The pain is strong, radiating from everywhere at the same time, but someone starts clapping, and more people join in. Meredith glances down. She's standing.

She should be dead, but her socked feet are resting on the cold tile floor of Seattle Grace. The pressure of her weight makes her spine tense, but she focuses on breathing through the pain.

"You did it! There you go, yes!" Derek smiles, a real, genuine smile, his eyes sparkling.

After three weeks of not using a single muscle in her body, she feels a hundred times weaker than she's ever felt, and she knows it's not going to get much better soon.

"Let me go." She commands.

"What?" Derek makes eye contact with her.

"I'm not standing, you're holding me up. Let me stand." Her voice is cracking as she speaks through her teeth, the pain making her nauseous.

"You look like you're about to pass out," Derek observes, worry filling his expression and tone.

"I'm not getting back into the damn bed unless you let me stand!"

"I don't think your-"

"I can take it, let me stand. Just for a second." She turns from commanding to pleading, and Derek grudgingly obliges.