Realization (Ymir x reader)

realisation

The rain was pounding into the ground. The clouds covered the suns rays overtaking it. Thunder storming through. Let's just say, It wasnt a nice day. But thankfully no one had any missions. Or so we thought

Ymir was snaking her arms around my waist.with my head nuzzling into the crook of her neck. Spending the little time we called 'peace' in our world.

***
Yeah. No missions huh? The titan god just had to give us one. Here we are on our horses getting ready to ventre out of our play pen.

"Is everyone ready?"

"Yes commander!" Everyone shouts soluting, dedicating our hearts to humanity and the only freedom which be believed but never had.

As the gate opens, the breeze hitting our faces, blowing our hair away from out face.

"Y/n I love you. Stay safe for me"

"I love you too ymir. Let's go slice some Napes. Imma win our score this time!!"

"Yeah right. You believe that darling." We both laughed soon fading away as we staring to set off and separate.

The clouds covering the sky. Making the awful nauseating feeling worse. Some drops of rain hitting against the faces of mine and my comrades. Titans running by. Looking at everyone like they've never seen food before. But of course they didnt get the chance to grab any of us. But the feeling still stayed in my chest.

"We did a good job. I think it's time to catch up to the others and head back." No one disobeyed the captains orders. So everyone followed his lead.

The rain slowly started to weigh on us. Giving us a cold shower on a hard day. Clothes started to get wet and hair damp. The smell of thick air and fresh air started to get strong by each passing mile. Not even a word spoken. Just silence speaking its loudest. Waiting. Waiting for something to strike.

The sound of a gun made everyone look up. Seeing the colour showing the signal they need help. Meaning something didnt work out. It honestly scared you a bit knowing anything could happen out in the open. Even though you were outside the walls. Its supposed to feel like a little bit of freedom. But instead it made you feel scared and uneasy. With the littlest bit of freedom still trying to find it's way out.

As your group reaches another you realised it was the one ymir was in.. but she wasnt there? "Um where ymir?" Obviously worried. But still dared to ask. The two men looked at eachother. And that's when the moment hit you. Oh no no. This couldnt happen.. when did things go wrong? This was supposed to be a happy ending...

No no it's going to be a happy ending.

Looking around running into the distance. Trying to find your love. Something just didnt sit right with the day. But you werent going to give your Hope's up. Theres more to live than slaying titans. Right?

The air growing thinker making it harder to breathe. Panik making it's way too. Not helping the situation you are in.

All those countless dances in the rain, singing songs while cleaning duties, playing truth or dare with the other lot, all those morning and night kisses our soft lips combining , those breakfasts in bed, cuddling in bed whenever we got the chance too. All those little things we got to do together. Our love. My love. My ymir.

Where was she. She was supposed to be safe. We still have to achieve our freedom and not loose. We cant loose theres so much to life than one thing we are made to do.. still. Looking. Looking for the scent that smelled like home. Already missing it. Yet looking for it like a dog trying to find it's way back to its owner.

Walking around. Shortness of breath. It was like you lived in silence. Couldnt have cared less about the things around you. Just fixated on one thing. Ymir.

After looking and looking. There she was. On the floor resting on a tree.. she was okay right? Shes alive that's all that matters. Right? Walking over. Or rather running over to see hold what you treasure.

I look down bearly seeing her face due to the tears welling in my eyes "no.."
This cant be real. A dream?
I kneel down quickly. Picking her red-stained body and propt her head up and rested it in my arms. "Darling?" My voice shakes.
Her eyes flutter open trying there hardest not too fall.
I try to smile but soon fades.
The pain in her eyes is silent. Yet unbearable for me to watch.
I quickly began searching for her wound only to see dark red liquid seeping through the fabric of her clothes. I take off my cape as quickly as possible
Putting pressure. "No.no.no.no.no" repeating those words over and over again. Out loud. Her cold touch of her hand placed ontop of mine stopping me from applying the pressure.
Our eyes meeting. Once again.
Her pale lips turned into a slight smile. Shaking her head at the same time. "Just stop" she whispered. Her voice used as much strength as she could.
Refusing and reapplying pressure again. "I'm not going to loose you too!" Tears falling unstoppable. Barley seeing what I'm doing but still as much as I could. Her hand grips tighter. "Y/n stop" she whispered again. Her voice breaking. She didnt have much time left. Her breathe short and shallow. "I didnt think I would ever need to say this. But I couldnt think of a better way to leave this earth. Maybe this is our only freedom who knows heh. Y/n I love you. Always remember that" shock overwhelmed me. Not knowing what to do. As her last breaths slowly started to become her last one. She closed her eyes. Gripping my hand one last final time. Till her body went limp...

I cried
I sobbed.
My whole body trembled from my cries.
Hugging the other as I rocked back and forth screaming in pain.
My chest hurt. It tightend.
I couldnt breathe.
It hurts.
It hurts so bad.
My vision blurry.

Time passed. Slowly. Something rustled. A letter? I open an envelope. The vision still blurry but clear enough to read.

"Dear y/n,
As I'm writing this. You are sleeping soundly in my arms. If only the moment could last forever..
I'm sorry about everything.. I would never have imagined myself having my death planned. But I did it for you. Being a goddess had its perks...
While it lasted.
As you could tell I'm going go die soon or I am dead. But I'm going to die without regrets...
Or that's what I'd like to say.
Truth is.. I do have one.
It's that I never got to marry you.

With love,
Ymir."

Not every story has a happy ending. I just thought mine would have some luck in it. But I guess not. Nothing is and nothing will ever be perfect. Life is just told in a fairy tale. When nothing in it is real. Everything must come to an end. It's the way it is.

I realized.
Be careful.
How deep you
Will fall in love...

Because the depth of your love
Will be the wound of tomorrow.